James Sleeth made this and I’m honored to be included!
Sign up for updates!
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Joe McDonald for sending out updates about my whereabouts such as the following and to let you know that if you want to receive them you have to sign up at The Activity Pit (the Red Eye site) and become a member of my fan group over there.
A message from Joe to all members of A Rosen By Any Other Name on The Activity Pit!
Alison’s Ustream show will begin tonight at 11pm eastern time. This week’s guests include adult film star Courtney Cummz and Daily Show producer Miles Kahn, who may give Alison a hair cut! And there might be other stuff… like Flirticia Newton.
Follow this link to RSVP and to watch the broadcast: http://tinyurl.com/yjvwluu
You can read Alison’s blog at: www.alisonrosen.com/blog
Alison is on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/alisonrosen
“True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart. It is not contempt; its essence is love. It issues not in laugther, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper.” – Thomas Carlyle“Laughter is the closest distance between two people.” – Victor Borge
Visit A Rosen By Any Other Name at:
http://activitypit.ning.com/groups/group/show?id=1981927%3AGroup%3A32692&xg_source=msg_mes_group
Okay so mostly I’m just in love with the mention of Flirticia Newton! (Fig’s sister). And the great humor quotes!
I didn't know we were exchanging gifts!
Earlier today I used a public restroom and this was on the inside of the door. Seems odd since my b-day isn’t ’til May. And not to sound like an ingrate, since hey, who doesn’t want a complimentary bathroom door, but I would have preferred you make a small donation in my name directly to my wallet, or that a portion of highway be named after me. I am a lady, after all.
Of course I didn’t exactly looking like one toting this thing out of there!
Another note about tomorrow's show
In addition to the delightful Courtney Cummz, it looks as if tomorrow’s show will also feature the delightful Miles Kahn—he of the haircutting and working for The Daily Show. I hesitate to announce this as every time I do he gets scheduled to fly out of town for a story and then he’s all, “Oh hey, I’m so sorry I have to reschedule but it looks as if I have to go win an Emmy,” and then I make jokes about how my hair is granted a temporary reprieve which is fine since I have mixed feelings about cutting my hair anyway and am thinking I’d look great with dread locks. Lest anyone be concerned though, we’re just talking about a trim. I might have him do it with a laser. He’s essentially performing microsurgery on my hair.
So perhaps you’re wanting to RSVP for this hot action? Do so here.
That pre-going-to-a-thing feeling
So there’s a thing I’m supposed to go to tonight and I’ve already told a couple people I’m going to go however I’m now getting that pre-going-to-a-thing feeling which I get far too often where I begin to doubt whether I really want to go and here’s why:
It’ll likely be all the same people it always is at these things and while I don’t know all of them by any means, I know enough to keep it from feeling new but too few to make it so I feel like I’m kicking back and hanging out with friends.
So if I go I’ll know all these same people and I’ll flirt with the same people I always flirt with at these things and it won’t mean anything and possibly little fleeting crushes will be ignited on either side which will ultimately go nowhere.
I might smoke a couple cigarettes and have one drink and then I’ll wake up feeling vaguely hung over because my alcohol tolerance is shit these days and my throat will hurt which at first I’ll think is because it was loud and I had to raise my voice to be heard over the din and then I’ll suddenly remember the cigarettes and then I’ll sniff my hair for confirmation and then I’ll feel gross because I don’t smoke anymore. It’s also possible I’ll have zero drinks or, if I’ve decided to throw judgment out the window, four drinks, at which point I’ll head home and vomit.
I’ll spend money to take a car or cab home which will feel like a waste.
As this is sort of a networking thing, I’ll likely talk about my show but will begin to hate myself and feel like an asshole while indiscriminately dousing any and all conversational partners in a fine mist of self-promotional mumbo jumbo because you just never know. I may also talk about freelancing or puppies.
I will spend roughly 18 to 24 percent of the time in line for the bathroom, which is not a drug reference, but a sad statement about how long the line to use the ladies room can be. If I’m feeling bold I will use the men’s bathroom and then pretend I didn’t know what I was doing. Except I kind of hate doing that, so I probably won’t.
It’s possible at some point there will be toilet paper stuck to my shoe and some kind soul will point this out or I’ll be the kind soul who points it out to someone else (same if someone tucks their skirt into their tights) and then we will be super duper fast friends for about two minutes because we are bonded by averted embarrassment. This bond will continue from afar throughout the night however it will be reset to stranger level by the next event.
I’ll take some photos and send some tweets from said event, to let everyone know I’m hitting the town and living it up, and then the next day I will look at them and feel glad that I pushed myself to go, even though my throat hurts.
But I can tell I’m dangerously close to not going, especially as I think The Bachelor is on right now.
I'm so fancy!
Usually I just cook splenda dipped in equal but not tonight!
Here's what I think (about the adult video debate)
A delightful gent has written into the comments on this post deriding adult video for turning people into pedophiles, rapists and sex offenders. At first I wasn’t sure whether to approve the comment, since I feel protective of the people I have as guests on my show and don’t want anyone to feel as if I’m inviting them on to be sandbagged. But then I thought more about it and realized that people who work in the field must be used to the arguments for and against adult video, and that if I’m choosing to provide a forum, we may as well have the discussion.
Here are my feelings: I’m not a big consumer of adult video. I know there are women who are super into it and I hear those reports about how it’s much more common than you think, but it just isn’t my thing. My curiosity is more as an interviewer and a human being (I mean, come on, there’s something compelling about the way it’s so polarizing and about the notion of taking something so private and making it public) and let’s not forget my weird foray into the Playboy world when I worked at the OC Weekly.
Sometimes I like to live exclusively in a world of ducklings and puppies, as it’s cute and uncomplicated, but I’m aware that a guy who says he isn’t into it is probably lying. I accept that and I’m fine with it though I’d rather not reflect on it for too long in most cases. Once, years ago, I had a house guest who arrived with some supplies he’d purchased at a bodega including a few adult mags which he was making little effort to conceal. I was concerned with the logistics of said pursuit. Sort of like if I were your house guest and came in with a potter’s wheel and some clay. You might support my interest in ceramics but not want me throwing any pots in your home since who knows where the clay might end up.
So yes, I’m sort of squeamish about the unsavory aspects of it but I support the first amendment whole-heartedly and have a real problem with those who walk around condemning and judging others, especially since, in my experience, the most judgmental people are the ones who are acting in the most hypocritical manner. I tend not to think art leads to violence and I’m sure someone is going to say, “Are you calling porn art?” and so let me rephrase: I tend not to think expression leads to violence. I think inability to express oneself, or censorship of expression leads to violence. And I think guilt about sex or the denial that sex is a very real and powerful force (one which few people know how to talk about in a healthy manner) leads to an array of destructive things.
But mostly I just feel like people are people, everyone is deserving of compassion and an attempt at being understood, and so long as no one’s being hurt or mistreated, people should be given the freedom to make their own choices.
Stepping off soap box/high horse now!
What do you guys think?
Salmonella Fitzgerald
On the last Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend I unveiled a brand new segment which was a smashing success! Actually, I think we’d all agree that’s not true, and as you can see in the video (at the bottom of this post) it was the end of the night and I was punchy and weirdly loud at times. Yay for me!
Anyway though, I wanted to give you guys a little context. Wheel of Fortune has their Before and After category which I’ve blogged about and done stand up about.
Jeopardy has recently raised/lowered the bar with their segment called something like Overlapping Words (I forget the exact title) which is what I was spoofing on the show.
On the next Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend
As many of you already know, Wednesday I’ll be talking with adult film star Courtney Cummz on my Ustream show. I’ve interviewed her on my web show but never had her on the live Ustream show so this is exciting but but but but BUT I want to make sure it’s a nice, friendly respectful vibe so I’m expecting all of you to be on your best behavior.
Am I making myself clear?
I’d love to be able to ask her your questions so if you have any, please leave them in the comments. I’ll be taking questions from the chat room during the show as well, but putting them here is a good way to make sure I’ll see them.
And as always, I want to thank all of you for being the best fans/viewers in the whole world.
RSVP for the show for updates about time changes and whatnot.
Nip slips and other slips
Was thinking tonight about wardrobe malfunctions and the “nip slip” and then thinking about some other unfortunate slips:
Chip slip: when you’re eating a chip and it falls out of your mouth while you’re talking. Not to be confused with the similar sounding…
Dip slip: this is when you stick a chip in dip and the dip is so thick the act of attempting to scoop some up on your chip causes you to lose your balance and hit the ground.
Slip slip: this is when a small boat pops out of your blouse. Embarrassing!
Pip slip: this is when a small Dickensian orphan pops out of your blouse. Mortifying!
Zip slip: this is when you’re ziplining and forget to wear underwear
Trip slip: this is when you’ve taken a secret vacation and you accidentally mention it
Rip slip: this is when you fart and then fall over
Sip slip: this is when you take a sip of a beverage and get it all over your shirt
Grip slip: this is when you go to do a fancy handshake with someone but you just moisturized your hands Nip
Tip slip: this is when you go to put a couple dollars in the tip jar and accidentally lose your footing and get pregnant