Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

Before and After phrases that will never appear on Wheel of Fortune

Written by Alison | March 30th, 2009 at 5:13 pm | Comments

Save the date rape

All of a sudden infant death syndrome

Out of the blue balls

Studying for the big final solution

Have mercy killing

You’re golden showers

Not my cup of tea bagging

Moby Dick Head

| Posted in comedy, lists

  • Randy

    I certainly hope you've submitted these to McSweeney's.

  • Jaqob Jackson
  • Jaqob Jackson

    Not to pretend that I am the Commander In Chief Offender, but the captcha for this post is FORTARD.


    Sounds like a combination of the word FORGET and RETARD.



    If you're a forgetful retard then that would make you a fortard.



    Don't thank me for that, thank Blogger.

  • Trapp

    Very funny.


    Is Pat Sajak still the guy who does the show? These would work best if he didn't know about them ahead of time.



    I'm not sure which I prefer, the embarrassingly dirty ones, or depressingly horrible ones.



    Either way, the studio audience will leave in stunned silence.

  • karpaydm

    This is hilarious!


    I won't even bother trying to come up with more since yours are so good!



    KarpayDM

  • Joe

    Those are great!


    I'm trying to think of some and I can't. I'm mentally constipated this morning.

  • Jaqob Jackson

     
    __________________________________





         BRAVO!



    __________________________________



     

  • Anonymous

    "Contribute it on Listology.com if you want."

  • Toddrod

    Alison!?!? Your Dad didn't really give you the Before and After phrase that you shared in that tweet, did he?!?!


    If it's true, I've totally misunderstood where he comes from for the past few months since I've been following your blog! I'm so embarrassed!



    Toddrod

  • Cher

    Love the list!

  • Rich

    Top of the morning wood.


    I'm really done now.

  • It Takes Balls

    Brilliant! Comedic genius in the body of a hottie.


    On the other hand job

    Look before you leap to your death

    Penny for your thoughts on pedophilia

    No means no more tears

  • Rich

    Pardon my French tickler. Haha.


    Yours are better. :-)

  • Anonymous

    Haha! Love it.

  • Michael R

    Comedy gold.

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