(artwork above by Randi Lawson)
The Thursday gang (Alison, Chris Laxamana, Matt Fondiler, Gary Smith and Jenna Kim Jones) talks about facials, Adam changing the schedule, Woody Allen and Alison’s epiphany, Matt’s non-apology, Fondilering, Color Me Mine, when to text after meeting someone or going on a first date, Valentine’s Day, caffeine and Mormons and so much more. We also did a round of Just Me Or Everyone (click here to see the JMOEs from this episode).
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Your use of the word NUCLEAR is the perfect word for such types of sexual abuse allegations. Even in the cases where the allegations are found to be untrue, the accused's “good name” is never truly regained, as you alluded to. It is a proverbial death-blow. And unfortunately, I think this fact is well known in our modern society. Such an allegation is too often used as a super-effective tool to instantly serve as judge, jury and executioner against the accused.
As a teacher, I've never had this happen to me… But I've known other teachers and coaches who were destroyed by such false claims. The following is always occurs: the accusation is in bold type on the front page of the newspaper, and the acquittal/retraction/apology is in small print on the back page, if printed at all. Actual sexual misconduct is obviously horrible, but wait for the facts to judge. I hope this made some amount of sense.
Your use of the word NUCLEAR is the perfect word for such types of sexual abuse allegations. Even in the cases where the allegations are found to be untrue, the accused’s “good name” is never truly regained, as you alluded to. It is a proverbial death-blow. And unfortunately, I think this fact is well known in our modern society. Such an allegation is too often used as a super-effective tool to instantly serve as judge, jury and executioner against the accused.
As a teacher, I’ve never had this happen to me… But I’ve known other teachers and coaches who were destroyed by such false claims. The following is always occurs: the accusation is in bold type on the front page of the newspaper, and the acquittal/retraction/apology is in small print on the back page, if printed at all. Actual sexual misconduct is obviously horrible, but wait for the facts to judge. I hope this made some amount of sense.
Alison, I thought your comments about the Woody Allen situation were perfect. My thought the whole time has been that there is no way that anyone who wasn't there cannot know the truth, so how can people judge with such certainty? And why do we feel the need to have such strong opinions about something that doesn't affect us at all?
Great show and I look forward to more awesomeness from you guys!
Alison – Great Podcast.
Subject: Child Abuse/Molestation accusations very damaging.
I applaud you for speaking up for the “Molester” ( I say this in quotes for a reason that once someone is accused – it gets to stay in their history – EVEN IF THEY ARE INNOCENT)
It appears that Alison and Jenna have first hand knowledge of these allegations that get submitted by Wives going through a divorce situation.
Dirty, little known secret in the Divorce World that much is to be gained in money and control of children if you can just throw the accusation out there to see if it sticks. The System is not designed to handle fraudulent claims of abuse and has no way of punishing the accuser.
I completely agree with your “innocent until proven guilty” approach. Unfortunately, Just like how Producer Gary quickly changed the subject because of the uncomfortable topic – Society does the same.
The Woody Allen incident is typical – He was getting a divorce, The wife got a story of molestation into the divorce proceeding – the story was “unsubstantiated” yet the accusation is still being trotted out as if it happened. The wife turned her kids against their Father for her own personal gain. Not many kids can go against their Mother's wishes and believe that she would lie to gain money and power – and so they “believe” the lie even in the face of facts.
I was a divorced Father put through the same false accusations – no win situation. Very Sad.
Thank you for at least trying to explain the complicated situation.
The only way this American phenomena will change is when Women call Women out on this destructive behavior.
Thank you for the forum.
Father alienated from his first two children but raising his third with a kinder Mother.
Take Careful.
Alison, I thought your comments about the Woody Allen situation were perfect. My thought the whole time has been that there is no way that anyone who wasn’t there cannot know the truth, so how can people judge with such certainty? And why do we feel the need to have such strong opinions about something that doesn’t affect us at all?
Great show and I look forward to more awesomeness from you guys!
Alison – Great Podcast.
Subject: Child Abuse/Molestation accusations very damaging.
I applaud you for speaking up for the “Molester” ( I say this in quotes for a reason that once someone is accused – it gets to stay in their history – EVEN IF THEY ARE INNOCENT)
It appears that Alison and Jenna have first hand knowledge of these allegations that get submitted by Wives going through a divorce situation.
Dirty, little known secret in the Divorce World that much is to be gained in money and control of children if you can just throw the accusation out there to see if it sticks. The System is not designed to handle fraudulent claims of abuse and has no way of punishing the accuser.
I completely agree with your “innocent until proven guilty” approach. Unfortunately, Just like how Producer Gary quickly changed the subject because of the uncomfortable topic – Society does the same.
The Woody Allen incident is typical – He was getting a divorce, The wife got a story of molestation into the divorce proceeding – the story was “unsubstantiated” yet the accusation is still being trotted out as if it happened. The wife turned her kids against their Father for her own personal gain. Not many kids can go against their Mother’s wishes and believe that she would lie to gain money and power – and so they “believe” the lie even in the face of facts.
I was a divorced Father put through the same false accusations – no win situation. Very Sad.
Thank you for at least trying to explain the complicated situation.
The only way this American phenomena will change is when Women call Women out on this destructive behavior.
Thank you for the forum.
Father alienated from his first two children but raising his third with a kinder Mother.
Take Careful.
why do we need to hear about it on a podcast that's supposed to be a good time? who cares what alison thinks of it. i tune in to giggle at their chit chat and not think about child abuse.
why do we need to hear about it on a podcast that’s supposed to be a good time? who cares what alison thinks of it. i tune in to giggle at their chit chat and not think about child abuse.
I think you are asking for the Woody Allen issue be held to too high of a burden of proof. This is not a criminal case where his freedom is in the balance The issue is if he deserves to continue to receive the adoration of the public and his peers. At best he risks a relatively minor difference in future income, certainly not poverty.
Still, love listening to the camaraderie on the Thursday show.
I think you are asking for the Woody Allen issue be held to too high of a burden of proof. This is not a criminal case where his freedom is in the balance The issue is if he deserves to continue to receive the adoration of the public and his peers. At best he risks a relatively minor difference in future income, certainly not poverty.
Still, love listening to the camaraderie on the Thursday show.
Thanks for mentioning that Edmonds article about the car salesman. Just read it… fantastic article.
Thanks for mentioning that Edmonds article about the car salesman. Just read it… fantastic article.