I fear we come off as truly horrible people in this one… Dustin started it!
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"You guys work at CNET, you're actually paid to be nerds"
Last night I hung out with Natali Del Conte and the guys from The 404 (Jeff Bakalar, Wilson Tang and Justin Yu) and there was some talk of docking and space docking. I don’t recommend looking these things up as they’re obscene and disgusting. Then out came the video cameras (when you’re hanging out with people who work at CNET you can be sure that everyone will be carrying five or six gadgets each putting to shame my one gadget plus collection of lip gloss.) Anyway, I’ve been having a problem with filming myself because I can’t get my whole face in the shot, hence Jeff Bakalar’s advice to “nail the angle.” Later Natali showed me how to zoom out though, so I think the problem will likely be solved next time I attempt to film anything.
Diana and I talked about buttons before Paltalk
So I received this Flip Mino HD moments before heading out the door this morning which I know you’ll find hard to believe when you take a gander at how brilliantly I capture life’s lighter moments. I’m telling you, if this writing/performing/being charming thing doesn’t work out, I think I could have a career as a therapist. And then if that doesn’t work I could consider being a makeup artist. And if that doesn’t pan out I might go back to school or temp. But if neither of those work for me? I might consider climbing behind the camera because I’m truly a camera artist. In fact, I might even be an artiste!
"I'm very immature… and I love vlogs!"
Anna and I walked home from a party. Also, I’m a tag slut. Also, my hair was really stuck to my face in a way that wasn’t quite captured in this video.
Q&A vlog, Feb 17
TV Reviews of TV Shows We Haven't Seen: LOST
Movie Reviews of Movies We Haven't Seen: Synecdoche, New York
Having now seen the movie I must admit the knickers, like the performances, were spot on. (note: no knickers)
"If we had lives, what might we be doing?"
It’s almost like in posing this question Dustin was suggesting we DON’T have fascinating fabulous lives. I can’t speak for him. He’s a sad man who loves oatmeal*, a sad man who loves oatmeal who’s also out of town so I don’t think he’s going to see this for a little while, hence I can refer to him as a sad man who loves oatmeal when perhaps that’s not fair, but I am very fabulous and fascinating and I’m currently living three lives that’s how many lives I’ve packed into my one life. You know?
*Oh my motherfucking fuck I just spent one whole lifetime trying to find the myriad blog entries I’d written on the Time Out New York blog about Dustin and his oatmeal when we both worked at there, including a bit of genius when he cheated on his oatmeal with a box of poptarts (I believe it was titled “Who Cries For The Oatmeal?”) but for the life of me I can’t find them. I can’t even find the blog.
I'd make a shitty chicken
By Alison Rosen on February 14, 2009 in chickens, HIGHLY SPECIFIC SCENARIOS INVOLVING DUCKS, Michael Showalter, pigeon sex, poultry, vlogs
A wise chicken doesn’t cackle until she lays an egg or something, but that’s not my style and plus if I were a chicken I’d much rather be the kind that plays piano. Probably something light, like Debussy. I know what you’re thinking: Do I take tips? Yes I do. I refer you to the tip jar on the side of my baby grand. They wanted to get me a concert grand since I’m performing at a pretty big concert hall however I explained that I wasn’t the biggest chicken (I actually said I wasn’t the biggest “cock on the walk” and we all had a good laugh at that) and therefore a concert grand would be using a hatchet to remove a fly from my friend’s beak.
I mean, I want the main thing you notice on that stage to be me and my amazing plumage first, then my romantic (and I mean that in the Platonic sense of the word) and moving playing, and then the light show and then you are free to notice the piano. And the tip jar. Please notice that. But I mean, I don’t want to be upstaged by my instrument.
But back to the tip jar. If you aren’t able to ascend the steps at Carnegie Hall (yes, that’s where I’m performing the works of Debussy) then we’re sending a collection plate out into the crowd.
What’s that? There aren’t any steps? I simply flap my wings and fly over the orchestra pit to get to the stage but I don’t really know how it would work for you. And I know what you’re thinking again: You’re wondering why I’m flying over the orchestra pit instead of entering the stage from backstage where I’ll be nibbling on various vittles kept warm on chafing dishes, as per my contract rider? Look, I’m a pretty down the earth chicken and I find that when I take the stage from the audience it really starts things off on the right foot. It’s my way of saying that I don’t OWN the music. I’m merely a vessel through which it speaks/lives/breathes.
Am I getting too lofty? I do that sometimes. In the coop where I periodically pass the time I’m kind of known as an intellectual. Some think I’m snobby but I’m really not. I just want to know what came before me, and what came after me, and how I fit in.
I read a lot of Nietzsche. I went through an Orwell phase but it hit a little close to home, as you can probably imagine.
1984. It was the year of my birth. Why, what did you think I was referring to?
Anyway, I have to go practice on my Casio keyboard which I keep in my mobile dressing room. A lot of people wonder how I practice and that’s how.
Oh and P.S. it looks as if I’ll be interviewing a certain Michael Showalter in a video/vlog soon. Happy Valentine’s Day!
NOTE: If you want to hear the old radio interviews I did with Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black go to my seldom-updated Myspace page and scroll down on the right side, after the videos, and there is a gray box with the interviews.
Wherein we try to remember the most interesting conversation EVER!
Anna and I try to remember The Most Interesting Conversation Either Of Us Have Ever Had.
Also, what’s up with my voice? I sound like my sister to me in this one, which probably doesn’t mean anything to anyone here. Speaking of voices, Anna is losing her voice and so I told her we had to vlog last night to capture her ephemeral husky voice. I don’t know if she’s looked at the video yet. I’m totally blog baiting her right now. Vlog-baiting?