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Today I did The 404 and slid under the table
Today I was on CNET’s The 404 podcast which is one of my favorite things to be on. The title of the episode (“Where we meet Alison Rosen’s mother”) comes from the way none of us understand the plot to How I Met Your Mother, as opposed to anything having to do with my own mom, btw. You can watch the episode here:
Nice little video review of my Ustream show
Thanks DJ_Mixdoctor! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I23NklwLJQ
last night's Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend recap plus online dating Qs, horror stories, where to see me
Last night’s show was really fun. First we talked to writer A.J. Jacobs, who was delightful, and then comedian Brendan McLaughlin came over to talk comedy and teach us how to professionally taste beer. He was a hoot, and I mean that in the sincerest way. At some point I also spoke Spanish and we did the wavey pencil dance and it was the greatest wavey pencil dance ever (Dustin took a solo) and we also talked about dating and my plans to do some online dating and document it on the show because I don’t go anywhere without my viewing audience.
Which brings me to a question: Have you had luck with online dating sites and which do you recommend?
And at the end of the show I invited you all to share your dating horror stories (either put them in the comments or email them to alisonrosenisyournewbestfriend AT gmail DOT com) and I will read some of them on the next show and name a winner. I’m not sure yet what the winner will win.
Oh and also, also, also, I need a logo so I can get some stickers made up. Anyone have any ideas for a logo that would look good on a bumper sticker? Maybe it should just be the name of the show. The thing that flummoxes me is that most sites where you order stickers have a button where you upload artwork. So that’s what I need. You know? Okay then.
Oh and also I had super fancy new title cards and we did a segment called “Just me or everyone?” where it was determined that many things I do are just me. It felt less reassuring than I’d hoped.
And one more potentially obnoxious thing. If anyone would like to make highlights on the videos for some of the moments I mentioned above, I will link to them.
Oh and see me tonight at 8pm ET on Diana Falzone‘s Paltalk show. Apparently I’ll be spelling my name with two LLs for the occasion.
And Friday morning at 11am ET I’ll be on CNET’s The 404 podcast. YAY!
Last night's awesome wavey pencil dance
Last night’s wavey pencil dance was possibly my favorite ever.
If you have any trouble with the above clip, watch it here.
Michael Showalter did the wavey pencil dance on my show
I appreciate his dedication to the sport of wavey pencil dancing.
Any trouble with the above clip? Watch it here.
When I get over this flu I’m going to be better about documenting all the crazed wavey pencil dancers who’ve come through my apartment because it’s impressive. It really is. I mean, I’m impressed.
Photos: The future of TV
Last week Dustin showed up to the show dressed as “the future of TV” which is silly because everyone knows that’s what I am. I, meanwhile, was wearing glasses because it’s the only way a hot dish like me can be taken seriously.
Here’s where we had words. Not really but I kind of like this photo because it looks like the kind of photo you’d find in the program of a really crappy musical.
On tonight's Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend
Please tune in tonight and I’m saying that both to people who make it a regular weekly event to watch and to anyone new who may have stumbled in here by accident and now is caught in a web of Alisonness. Also, as some of you may or may not know, I did an impromptu FANZ ONLY (and by that I mean fans and anyone who happened to see it or hear about it on Twitter) show on Monday night and it was fun. And why do I feel the need to put Z instead of S? It’s ZILLY!
Anyway, tonght we have comedian Myq Kaplan, Dustin, Activity Pit founder Kim Flynn and a cooking demo. RSVP!
And here’s a photo of the puppies Kim’s dog just had!
Apparently you’ll be needing a magnifying glass to see the photo.
And for anyone who listened to Dustin and me discuss his oatmeal fixation on last week’s show, here’s the blog post I mentioned from when we both worked at the same magazine. Unfortunately the photo is no longer there but it was a photo of a box of pop-tarts sitting next to a box of oatmeal.
Last week's show, do I take thee Brussels sprouts?
So I’m backlogged, blogpost-wise, and don’t know whether to tell you first about the Ustream show last week or about News Distillery which is the live show I was a part of or about other stuff. Hm. Hmmmmmmmm.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Still undecided.
I’ll just tell you first about last week’s Ustream show. It was super duper fun and super duper is kind of of one of those phrases you need to watch out for because you start saying “super duper” as a joke and then before long you’re saying it in earnest and possibly adding “pooper scooper” on the end of it. A similar thing happened to both my sister and me with “okey dokey” (followed by either “smokey” or “salmanokey”). Luckily we each caught it early. My friend Bret once took pains to strike “easy peasy Japanesey” from his speech. So what I’m saying is this: be careful with super duper because a little goes a long way. That said, the show was super duper fun and here’s the first part and I’m not quite sure the best way to make the episodes available to you guys. I could put them right here or I could link them or I could just tweet that they’re available on the Ustream page itself. So many options.
And then there are the highlight videos too, which I could post here, like when Showalter did the wavey pencil dance or Dustin arrived dressed as “the future of TV” which is funny because my first thought when I saw him was that he’d come from some sort of Wizard of Oz costume party. Or the second fan phone call with Trapp, which was super duper (see, there it is again) awesome. Ugh, options!
Basically I feel like all these amazing moments and clips are coming from the shows and yet I’m not utilizing them correctly or pasting them to my sandwich board and ringing a bell while asking people if they have a moment to spare for being my best friend. Can we talk about that for a second? I pass by people in the street who want to know if I have a moment to spare for various causes which I actually do care about or sympathize with however I’m often in a rush or don’t want to talk to a 12 year old with a clipboard so I just keep walking and yet worry that because I’ve effectively said no, I do not having a moment to protect children from predators or protect animals from abuse or protect passersby from street solicitation it’s as if I disagree with these causes. And yet I don’t. I just don’t have time to talk to YOU about them. You know? Also, I’m very selfish and a world-class asshole. Seriously, you could travel the world meeting the finest assholes the world has to offer and you would come back to me and be like, You, you are a total asshole unlike any other and I would just smile, because it’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time.
But back to options, vis a vis options to put videos on this blog. The funny thing is that I love options however too many of them paralyze me. Options are my hamartia. Or my Achilles heel. Or my siren. Could someone please figure out what the best metaphor is and just write it for me? I’m lazy and kind of hot. Seriously, why is it hot all of a sudden? I don’t mean to be so cranky but do you have to sit there? No, I’m not sitting there RIGHT NOW but I was planning on possibly sitting there later and… okay you know what… I can’t do this right now. Not with you sitting there. Not with a belly full of Brussels sprouts.
If I were to marry a cruciferous vegetable it’d probably be the Brussels sprout, at least that’s how I feel today and how I’ve been feeling lately, however I’m not ready to stand before God and make that kind of promise. Frankly I kind of like things the way they are right now and don’t see why I have to have some silly piece of paper to make the love between me and Brussels sprouts official. Just because my last name is Rosen, not Sprouts, does that mean I love them any less? Just because my half human, half sprout children will have the hyphenated name Rosen-Sprouts, does that make their existence any less legitimate? Just because we aren’t registered at Crate & Barrel and we aren’t marching/rolling down the aisle, does that mean our union is any less real? I’m so Goddamn sick of the nonstop message that unless you’re married to a Brussels Sprout you you aren’t truly standing shoulder to leaf with your partner. And if I have to see another movie where Julia Roberts runs from a Brussels Sprout or Renee Zellweger meets-cute a Brussels Sprout and or oh look, it’s Mark Ruffalo as an underdog who’s also a Brussels Sprout or hey, is that Amy Adams or Isla Fisher acting coquettish opposite a Brussels sprout well I just might puke. You know what, Hollywood, and Belgium, I’m not playing. And neither are my vegetables.
Phew. Felt good to get that off my chest.
And you might find the following hard to believe, but I wasn’t intending to hold forth on my forbidden love in this post. I was going to instead tell you all about the nutty twists and turns, most of them inside my brain, that happened before last week’s show. But now I’m too tired. Basically it boils down to this: because I wear all the hats on my show, sometimes literally, I have trouble sometimes figuring out how to block out the show in terms of when to put guests and when to just talk to you guys alone and when to have Dustin there and when to do the phone interview versus the guest interview and how long each thing should last and whether I should have the guest arrive before I start the show and if so should he/she be sitting off camera or in the background or should I just let the guest in while the show is already going? And let’s say I know that Ustream is going to be putting the show on their front page for a period of time and so I know new sets of eyeballs (preferably in their sockets) will be on the show and I know when that period of time is, should I be getting naked right when they put me on the front page or near the end of the allotted time? Just kidding. There’s no nakedness, you guys! But you get what I’m saying. So basically all this crap is sitting in my already filled-to-the-brim-with-whatnot-and-bric-a-brac-and-Hummels-and-homemade-jam head and add fatigue to it, as was the case last week and I’m unable to figure anything out, resulting in my asking what the drummer of my band used to refer to as “Jesus questions” as in “only Jesus knows the answer to them.” Somehow I doubt even Jesus knows what time my guests should be arriving. If you really want to watch me spin in place, catch me in the midst of a colossal indecision surfeit and send me a text asking me if I want to go to dinner the next day. My inability to figure things out in the present coupled with my inability to figure things out in the future will cause me to be unable to do anything other than stare at my phone. Sometimes I drool.
What was my point though? I don’t really know. I feel like I need some kind of brain enema or brain emetic which is ironic since many people would think this blog and my twitter stream serves that purpose but it doesn’t and my brain feels filled with residue that’s preventing me from expressing myself in any sort of linear fashion.
See what I mean?
In other news, my parents joined Twitter! Except I think it’s really my dad, not my mom, tweeting as @Alisonsparents. Just like it’s more my mom than my dad typing as Alisonsdad on Ustream. Though often it’s the two of them sitting there at the computer together. It’s all very confusing.
Oh and also, also, I’ll be on The 404 on Friday. And Red Eye on Thursday night. And my Ustream show featuring Myq Kaplan and more is Wednesday night. Please watch and RSVP and tell your friends or I’ll be forced to talk more about vegetables and no one wants that.
Not that it's a contest
But I’m kicking Macy Gray’s butt right now!
(If you can’t see the numbers, 279 people have RSVPd to my show and 177 people have RSVPd to hers.)
(To be fair, her show is tomorrow and mine is tonight so she may overtake me yet.)
(Just felt like there needed to be something else in parens here.)
(Watch my show tonight! http://ustream.tv/alisonrosen)
(Also, I’m so overtired I feel like I’m losing my mind slightly which should make everything a little more unpredictable tonight.)