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Remember awhile ago in that post where I said I’d bought this pink thing that I decided was going to be my “correspondence corner” even though I don’t correspond… with anyone?

Well the time has finally come where I’ve been asked to put something in the mail. “Aha! I have just the piece of furniture for that!” I said to my imaginary friend Chico. He shot me a dirty look because he was sleeping.

But then I looked inside said pink thing and apparently I don’t have any stamps. I do have these dog stickers though.

Anyone know how many dogs it takes to mail a small oversize envelope?

You guys! Tonight I was talking to Anna and I know I said the following:

“… I know! I was thinking I should have included that in the 25 things about me on Facebook. It’s a 26th thing!”

But I have no idea what I said it in reference to. But just thought you should know that there exists something sort of wonderful about me that you’ve yet to hear. I mean, I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you think those 25 things about me really captured the entirety of my personality, well, surprise, there’s one more thing.

Please remain on tinterhooks.

Just wanted to say the grocery post wasn’t intended to be like Woohoo Look At Me I Buy Vegetables. I took a picture of the Brussels sprouts because I thought it was funny that I bought them simply because I think they’re sort of cute and yet had no idea how to cook them (the microwave worked well, I’ll have you know) and then while I was taking photos I decided to keep going as I was unloading stuff. I don’t claim to be all healthy or organic or anything if for no other reason than if you cut me, I bleed Splenda. Unless the store is out of it in which case, Equal. Never Sweet n Low. Yuck. Also, I don’t really like water. Also, I like to suck on bowls painted with lead paint and I also eat dirt by the fistfulls. And I’m bulemic but I only throw up the healthy food. I let the chicken nuggets stay down.

Here we are, unable to hear anything. The real shame is that I never got to continue with my Eric impression.

So I meant to type “Sorry my dear” in an email but instead I typed “Sorry my head.” Then I tried to type it to explain it, hence I was typing, “So I meant to type ‘Sorry my dear,'” but instead what came out was “So I meant to type ‘Sorry my hear.'”

I don’t know what this means. Something awesome, probably!

But I’m not loving the newly reordered sidebar on the right. I wasn’t loving it before either though. I remember watching my friend paint some wooden shutter door things which enclosed a little phone alcove and then smash them with a hammer. I left him as the wood was really flying. Anyway, I’m not going to take a hammer to the sidebar but anyone have any input about how it should be? There’s this whole above the fold and below the fold thing I’m thinking about. I’m actually thinking of folding my computer screen up origami style, but that comes later.

Please note the fancy “Share this” tags on each post. I’m not sure exactly what they do or how but feel free to use them to bandy my content all over the web somehow securing me untold millions of dollars, fame, fortune, a private jet, my own porpoise filled lagoon, my own dolphin filled infinity pool, a jacuzzi filled with sea otters, a hot tub featuring flamingos, a sitz bath for my parrots, a sponge bath with an octopus, two tide pools packed with starfish, a foot bath for my labradoodles, a warm compress for my mauzers (half maltese, half schnauzer) and a wet bar for my sea monkeys.

Person I know: Just ran into [a guy I know but haven’t seen in awhile]. I didn’t know you had a spat!

Me: Huh? I didn’t know that either!

Person I know: He said you were [word meaning unkind].

So, there you go. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go fret over this for the next 12 hours.

Not really, I’m doing Strategy Room at noon tomorrow so I have to get up early to start strategizing. Also, I’m a total cold hearted bitch who doesn’t care anyway.

My Gina Carano interview is in the March issue of Maxim which should hit stands any day now.

Also, I’ll be on The Strategy Room on Wednesday at noon. Courtney Friel is hosting.

Also, my sister named her plant Horace.

Also, I’ll be on Red Eye on Friday, I should have said that earlier.

She's having a contest.
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