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Did I already mention I’m hating the ads? Totally hating them. I think they’re not long for this blog so click the hell out of them if you’re feeling fidgety because I think I’m going to have to send them to the virtual trash bin in the sky.

As of today I’m kind of hating the ads. I feel like my blog is a human pop up! Except it’s not human and it’s not a pop up. But you know what I mean.

I think so, right? (Also, I felt kind of silly about having a google blogs alert set for my name until I realized how common that is among people who are obsessed with themselves.)

Also, kinda hating my earrings from last night!

See those ugly ads? And that fugly search box to the right? And that donate button? I would like to make a living doing what I love—thinking about myself and sometimes blogging and recording videos—and so I’m trying to get on this monetizing money train.

How do I feel about this? Well first of all I hate the word monetize. It’s not even word! It’s like “Hey, I’m going to obnoxiate right now. Then I’m going to showerize and maybe later I’ll conversate.”

But yeah, times are tough and so this blog must suffer. Care to click on all those ads? Do it!

In other news, I’m on Red Eye tonight. I’m going to paste ads all over myself.

I mean nerds affectionately, by the way. So does anyone know how to put technorati and digg tags at the bottom of each post so that people can digg and technorati and whatever else I should have them do? Because I’m not sure that Share This button is really achieving the kind of communist ideal of blog sharing that I’m going for. And by that I mean when I write a post I think it should belong to everyone and should be instantly disseminated and loved by all. Like Animal Farm. All blog posts are equal but some are more equal than others. I realize that made no sense.

Anyway, I turn to you guys because I love you and want you to enjoy the fruits of my laziness plus inquisitiveness.

Also I was sick last night so I didn’t vlog as I said I would but don’t you worry, I’m going to Q&A vlog soon. Probably tonight.

Hey so some of you requested that I sign copies of various things and while I don’t yet have a PO Box because I’m lazy and, well, yeah that’s pretty much it, I realized how we can do this. Announce yourselves again and I’ll post the address where you should send whatever in the comments. Yay!

I’m sorry, I don’t take requests.

which is the aforementioned nightmare of a video file which I talked about yesterday and one thing is screechingly clear to me:

Dustin and I think Dustin and I are very funny.

Ok blog readers new and old, I have a question for you. If I were to choose a comment of the week or a few or something is that the kind of thing that would be awesome and promote goodness and virtue and gumdrops and unicorns among all of us or would it create a Lord of the Flies type situation? Because I love all of you equally and also I love each of you more than any of the others and today I was reading comments and laughing out loud and my eyes were almost watering I was so loving the comments but I don’t want to get in there and mess up our delicate, um, community. You know how one’s digestive system is a delicate balance of bacteria (the good kind) and also whatever else is in there and if you take antibiotics or eat too much yogurt or something it can throw everything out of whack? Well I don’t want this blog to get a yeast infection or become gaseous. I don’t want to essentially rub raw eggs or salmonella infested chicken all over the cutting board of our love. You know?

You may have to click on it to be able to read it. See, this wouldn’t be annoying if I’d actually been able to download anything today but instead I tried and when the thing said it was 27% downloaded for about three hours (the whole download was only supposed to take two hours) I finally made the Sophie’s Choice decision that it was actually frozen and not just taking its sweet time so I canceled the download. Sort of like when you’ve been sitting on hold for a long time and then finally give up but worry that now you’ll have to start over. Or when you’re waiting to use a public restroom and it’s taking forever and you suddenly worry that maybe there’s no one in the bathroom and you decide you’ll just wait a little longer instead of being that psycho pounding on the door so you wait a little longer and then you realize that if there’s no one in there as you fear, you’ll never find out because eventually NOTHING will happen and that will be the indicator. That stretching yawning nothingness. Have I lost you all?