Archive | Uncategorized

Would be a good name for a burlesque performer in a Cabaret-style spoof.

wrong with the fact that I have tears in my eyes because Lauren from The Hills gets to go to Paris. (I’m catching up on the finale)

I just spent all this time importing clips only to go to play them and discover the audio was missing because I’d put the RCA cables in the output, not the input, because hey man, who am I to say there’s one right way to plug things? Also because I’m an idiot. Anyway, now I’m going to have to redo all those clips because I need my mellifluous tones, you know?

Also, we’re closing in on crucial puppy naming time.

Also, I’m being interviewed for a Biography Channel bio on Bob Saget on Wednesday.

Also, there’s a company party tomorrow night involving party-oke. Party-o-ke? Party-no-ke!

Also, Greg told me he hates when people add “tastic” to words. (“Oh God, you just did that thing I hate” is what he said.) This was after I said “scat-tastic” though, which I still think was the only applicable term.

Along the same lines, I think I’ve insulted a number of people with my publicly abhorring actionable. Seems quite a few people use that word.

Also, I overhead a guy on the street tell another one he’d been “rocking some serious, serious nausea” this week. I wanted to tell him I’d been “sportin’ some gnarly crabs” just to see what he’d say.

When you’re at a party that’s too loud to hear anyone but not too loud to hide the fact that you were repeatedly calling someone by the wrong name.

(oh and by the way, since you guys were asking/commenting, many of the particular things you mentioned from the Petty Criticism story were Dustin’s. We each wrote our own. Mine were “actionable” (and the fact that it’s now in the dictionary), getting carsick in winter gear, sweet n low, the monolithic JA phenomenon and the way Dustin totally crowded the list with his own picks. I am kidding.

A homeless man told me I looked “spiffy” tonight. Okay fine, he wasn’t just a homeless man, he was my homeless man. The one who lives on my corner. And while I didn’t give him any money, I appreciated his discerning taste.

So watch! I’ll be wearing either brown or greenish blue. Exciting!

However, did I really just hear a certain president say “the sticks and carrots approach”?

I think I did. Wow.

until 1:53pm today! After a crazy night of catching up on Gossip Girl, The Hills and Red Eye. Like when I yawn while people are talking to me and say, “It’s not that I’m tired, it’s that my brain needs oxygen,” it’s not that I’m tired right now, it’s my body needs sleep.

Also, I’m having a love affair with my electric blanket. I can’t believe I didn’t have one for so long. Guess it took living in an apartment with questionable heat to make me see what I was missing.

1) Sometimes I look at bruises I get (I bruise kind of easily and I’m clumsy) and think they make me look tough. In fact I had this big bruise on my upper arm a couple years ago which I got from walking into a door at Grand Central (it’s actually more complicated than that. There are these narrow doors at Grand Central where you push one side and this brass beam attached to the other side of the door whacks you in the arm, which I did three times in a row) and I would go into the bathroom at work when I was bored and pull up my sleeve and look at it and think that it kind of looked like a tattoo.

2) I’m reading—and enjoying—Gossip Girl. And in my head I imagine what I would say to anyone should they query why a 45 year old woman is reading Gossip Girl (note: I am not really 45), much like when I went through my mixed vegetables in a can phase I’d think of what I’d say to the clerk should he ask me why I’m buying like 8 cans of mixed vegetables and bottle of diet 7-Up, though it never came to that.

If so, please stop making out on the street.

P.S. I’m back and the airplane trip was without incident except ever since I’ve gotten off the plane I’ve felt like I’m on a ship. Everything’s kinda wavy. Am I the only one who gets this? I used to feel this way after pulling an all-nighter in college. At the time, I would describe the next day feeling as “like a hologram.” Not to be cliche, but it makes me think of that old saying: “Out of the airplane, onto the ship, makes you feel like a hologram.”