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Archive | TV

Career highlight ahead

I’m going to be contributing to three shows on the Soap Opera Network. Soap Opera Channel? I forget, but given Tobey’s affinity for All My Children, you can imagine how exciting this is! Also, I’m manning one half of the debate column in Page Six Magazine this Sunday so be sure to pick it up if you’re in the city or nearby environs. I’ll be squaring off with (squaring off against? how exactly does one “square”?) another notorious commentator—whose last name is my first name—and there will be little tiny pictures of both of us. Tiny pictures!

Finally, four people have looked at me like I’m insane tonight because of my insistence that it’s common knowledge, at least on television, that if you receive a suspicious package you put it in the shower. Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Yes, okay yes, fine, my understanding of this is largely informed by the episode of Facts of Life where Tootie is obsessed with Jermaine Jackson but I’m pretty sure this can’t be the only place I’ve encountered it. Thoughts?

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Fred will be so jealous

Because I agreed to do Red Eye on Valentine’s Day. I plan to wear red. Or just a diaper while holding love’s bow and arrow. Take the high road on that one please.

Also, speaking of Fred, despite my plans to stay home hanging with my houseplant while working on new moves to fold in (seamlessly, of course) to my competitive ice dancing routine, I just put in a full day at Page Six Magazine, where I’m acting as senior editor for a bit. I worry the ice dancing will suffer, is the thing.

Also, I felt that moment where I realized the lobby, which has always been about Red Eye for me, is about to become about Page Six for me. Does that make sense? And then some day I’ll go to do Red Eye and it’ll be like going to do a show in the building where I work or once worked, as opposed to now, where I’m still flummoxed by the elevators. “I’m going to one, are you going to one?” a man asked me today, by the elevator bank. I just stared at him, dumbfounded, as if he were speaking a foreign language which I once knew. Then I began drooling. The thing is that I’ve always prided myself on my ability to discern up from down—left and right not so much—and so if I lose that one I will be directionally challenged in 360 degrees, which is really going to suck. Some other sense will just have to overcompensate. Hopefully a useful one, like my sense of humor. Or my sense of which peppers are spicy. Or my sense of which movies are going to suck, except I really made a judgment error when I dragged my mom and sister to see Out to Sea.

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Tobey, bricks, Top Shaman

Wendy and I put up a new post today. Perhaps you’ve already read it. If you haven’t, head over there to take in my inability to speak my mind over very small things involving people I don’t know that well. Fun! Other things going on? Well I haven’t received my daily Tobey update so I don’t know if he’s still trying to eat bricks, which is not a euphemism for eating his euphemistic Tobeys, but apparently he was actually trying to eat bricks yesterday. Naturally, I think this is cute (from 3000 miles away). So mom, if you’re reading this: Tobey update and photos and video, please! Tobey should have his own blog, really.

Also, a whole lot of stuff gets said during the commercial breaks while filming Red Eye and I always think I should remember it so I can repeat it here and note the way you probably had to be there. Last night I told Dr. Baden I’d enjoyed a nutritive enema* during the break and then I resumed my original seat (I’d vacated the seat so he could sit there during his segment). While waiting for filming to begin again Bill said something about someone being a showman. Greg said “and a shaman!” right as I said roughly the same thing. Bill looked disgusted and I have to admit I also had that sinking feeling that comes when two great minds produce less than one joke. Or maybe it was that I then mentioned Jim Morrison. Then Greg started joking about Top Shaman and also talking about Top Ramen and I said something about prophetic noodles.

*it was something he’d talked about in his segment, not something I enjoyed during the break

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letters? send them!

Greetings lovelies. I just got back from doing Red Eye. At the table and everything! Today was crazy so I apologize for the lag in posting comments! Thank you Ted for your brainteasers! I got the ONE WORD one but the shark one stumped me. More brainteasers! And now, a request: if you like the movie segment I’ve been doing and want to see it continue please please please email redeye [at] foxnews.com and say as much. Then get your friends to write in (if they sincerely like it too). Lots of letters! Oodles of letters! I will be forever grateful!

Also, I passed Tonya Reiman, the real body language expert (from O’Reilly) in the lobby tonight and she smiled at me and I thought “Hi. I’ve parodied you.” It was a weird little moment. Also, she’s quite statuesque. As is Megyn Kelly. And Angelica Bridges, who was on the show tonight.

I guess that’s all.

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My Best Bets segment from this morning

I’m wearing the same makeup in this segment (toned down a little and cleaned up) that I was on Red Eye last night because I was too tired to take it off only to be putting it all back on in the span of a few hours. But whenever I do this I end up sleeping like a little mummy because I’m trying not to move so the extra sleep I think I’m going to get by leaving the makeup on is canceled out by the fact that I don’t sleep well in it. My hair was delightfully styled here by the woman who regularly does Regis and Kelly’s hair but was filling in at NBC because Regis and Kelly is on hiatus. I was far too excited by my hair’s brush with greatness! (oh no I did not!!!!!!)(that was an unintended pun! even when I’m on/off I’m on/off!)

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