You can read John’s Mind of Man column every Wednesday on TheFrisky.com.
But let’s talk about the crazy edits that you may have seen in the above video if you were watching it with your eyes. What a fucking nightmare hatchet job that was, right? In addition to firing my prop guy and makeup person and producer, I’m totally shitcanning my editor. Then I’m firing whoever’s in charge of censoring the foul language around here because they’re letting some doozies through. But what happened was I messed up the time count and then I had about twelve minutes of footage and so I had to shave off about a minute and a half (apparently I can upload a little over ten mins on youtube) and then all hell broke loose. I wasn’t just out of breath because a shark was chasing me. I was out of breath because I blew up all those inflatable things that were dangling off my body. I have half a mind to put the parts I cut out back in and just cut this into two clips but that will take forever and it’s onward and upward for me. No looking back. I only have eyes for tomorrow. And I’m lazy.