Archive | SPECIALTY LIES

SPECIALTY LIES: CIRCUS EDITION #2

SITUATION: You’re stuffed into a Volkswagen with 30 of your friends and you fart.
STANDARD LIE: “Do you guys smell that? Wow. What are they feeding the elephants?”
DELUXE LIE: “Is it me or is someone using turned grease paint? Bubbles? Is that you again?” (Note: This works especially well if no one in the car is named Bubbles).

SPECIALTY LIES: CIRCUS EDITION

SITUATION: One of the other clowns accuses you of stealing her rubber shoes.
STANDARD LIE: “Bubbles did it.”
DELUXE LIE: “Gross. Do you know how many germs can live in shoes? I’m a germophobe, so I know. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I would never steal your shoes. No offense.”