I had a virus on my Mac. This is apparently quite unheard of. So unheard of that when I told the computer guy he kind of glazed over and told me to afkjagakhdfgiladfgjkgadsf [I glazed over too, but suffice it to say it was a workaround since I couldn’t attach documents in email because my email was telling me I had a virus]. Anyway, when it happened again I turned to another computer guy who also told me it was nearly impossible that I had a virus. But I’m coughing and itching, I said! And I just feel tired all the time. Also, my left knee makes a funny noise. (It says ‘ello!’ in a cockney accent.) He suffered my computer ignorance long enough to tell me to run a scan, which I did, and then I told him it found a virus. He was shocked. I was triumphant! But also dismayed. And maybe a little hungry. Twelve hundred hours later, everything is back to normal and I can’t wait to tell computer person number one how wrong he was, because that’s the kind of person I am.