Tonight at the store there was a guy making this super annoying whistling chirpey sound that sounded so much like mating parakeets that I wondered if it wasn’t someone’s super annoying cell phone ring. It wasn’t though, it was a guy making this sound and it was bugging the crap out of me and made my time in the frozen foods section less than relaxing. “Seriously, with the birds, seriously?” is what I kept saying to myself while shooting looks at him and then around the aisle trying to figure out if there was any way I was actually hearing birds. I should have been saying “Seriously, James Audubon, seriously?” in my head, because that would have been more entertaining, but I always think of things to think after the fact!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I came home and the walk from the front door to the elevator smelled like the kind of wood shavings that are inside a hamster cage. And not fresh wood shavings. It smelled like a soiled habit-trail. And the walk from the elevator to my door smelled like wood shavings mixed with meatballs.
Now, a word or two about Red Eye. I may have said some negative things about the Verne Troyer sex tape but here’s thing: I watched it for a second and it was truly horrifying. Much moreso than you would imagine. I may have yelled “my eyes! my eyes!”
The only thing more horrifying is the picture of a cat with no face that Michelle Collins was making people look at. I refused. No faceless cats for me I said while walking around the green room holding my hands to the sides of my eyes so I wouldn’t see it. Bill and Josh were shrieking so much that I said we should film their reaction to this faceless cat and call the video “Two Girls, One Cat.”
