Archive | Red Eye

Here are some recent photos:

Here’s the stage where we did the live show last week. Because I was worried about falling as I tried to get onto/into the chair, I actually did a dry run upstairs before the show, getting in and out of the chair three times. I only wish I were kidding.

Here I am with Adam looking kind of doughy/squishy faced. Frankly I’ve seen better photos of my face. Also, I can’t remember who took this photo.

Here I am with Doug Benson, who was the guest on that night’s live show podcast. Boy were we high except for me. On stage I told the story of going to Disneyland with Doug and him suggesting we don’t tweet that we’re there together so as to see if our followers figured it out but the real story is that we went to Disneyland while I was auditioning for the Adam Carolla gig and most of what we talked about that day was Adam and the job. Doug gave me lots of tips:

1. Put your feet on the couch

2. Bring your dog

3. Shit on Adam’s points

3. a. Shit on Adam’s couch

4. Fuck “yes, and…”

5. Try “No, but anyway…”

6. Apply your lipstick directly to the coffee mug

7. Be yourself!

8. Just have fun with it!

9. Be prepared.

10. For an earthquake (bring a tarp and flares)

11. Peanut butter!

12. Depeche Mode = BEST BAND EVER

13. Yeah you are!

14. Just didn’t want to end on the number 13 even though I’m not superstitious

15. With the exception of opening umbrellas indoors. When I see people open umbrellas indoors I always wonder why they’re endangering me. Nothing spinning a few times to the left and yelling “quark!” won’t fix though.

16. No ending lists or waking up on zeroes or fives either, for that matter.

This is “Bowler Roller,” the game I’m strangely good at that we talked about on the show. Adam thought I was talking about Skee-ball, which I SO WASN’T, but then I mentioned that I’d played on a competitive skeeball league. I also filed a news story about it for NBC when I lived in New York. It’s on the end of my reel.

But back to skeeball, I was on a team with my sister and our friend Rob and our name was Skesus H. Christ. We wore crowns of thorns which my sister, who is super crafty, crafted out of leather cord. Lest you don’t believe me, here’s a photo:

We were really good by the second or third season and we made the finals or the championships or whatever the big tournament at the end is but then we didn’t win and then we played for one more season but I started losing interest and realized I enjoyed the knowledge that I was a on a skeeball team more than actually being on the team. Fun fact? Bill Schulz from Red Eye was also on a team (Tits McSkee) with Laura Leu, whom some of you may know. (I thought of her the other day because I was talking about Farmer’s Cheese and I said I think it’s similar to curds and she’s kind of the queen of curds.) (UPDATE: Laura Leu has contacted me to let me know in no uncertain terms that Farmer’s cheese and curds are entirely different things and she’s insulted I would even make such a proclamation.) (ANOTHER UPDATE: regarding the whole skeeball costume thing… it seemed like a good idea at the time and we were much less garish about it than a lot of the teams, preferring instead to let our unbridled athleticism speak for itself.)(And lastly, it was really an activity/social scene made for drinking and I wasn’t drinking as of a few weeks prior maybe, so I always felt removed from the whole thing which is a feeling I often feel anyway, with intermittent notable exceptions.)

And here’s today’s episode with Jim Florentine which features all the potatoes, burping and hate-fucking you’ve come to expect.