[A word about what I’m wearing: Sometimes I like to put on everything I get for Xmas as I get it, hence the necklace with tags. Also, I like to tie bows around my head as I’m opening. Also, I’m not wearing any makeup in these photos, and how!]
HOW I TAKE COUGH SYRUP
1) First I pour it in a spoon.
2) Next, I swallow it.
3) Then I freak out.
Culture jam
Greetings, my little string beans. I had a particularly disgusting weekend as I was the victim of a pernicious new wave of street crime. Little shits on bikes spit loogies at me! I suffered a ride-by phlegming! Allow me to recount for you: So there I was, walking unawares down Avenue B. It was around 9:40pm. I heard the sound of bikes to my left and I also heard the sound of phlegm collection which is that dry-to-wet kind of throat clearing, coughing up sound which is not unlike when your hard drive is doing something loud and you realize there’s something wrong with your computer. I greeted this sound with slight trepidation and a bit of nausea, as I have a real visceral reaction to street loogies glistening on the sidewalk like so much throat snot. Actually, it’s not just visceral, it’s intellectual too, (more…)