So I got an email from Bill Schulz’s brother Alfred saying he saw me in a commercial for an upcoming Adam Sandler Biography on the Biography channel. This makes me think this Biography will be airing soon, as that’s how commercials tend to work. For example, that commercial about Zyrtec with that woman who says “You know that song, Time in a Bottle? Well I got it…” and then it you think it’s going to be a commercial about hair dye or something which makes much more sense than allergy medication? I mean, I take Allegra on occasion and I’ve never been like “Holy fuck! What will I do with these extra three hours that I used to devote to sneezing?” Well that commercial means Zyrtec will air soon.
Ok, that was forced and not that funny. Can we go back to how I always want that commercial to be about hair dye because if it covered gray at least it would make sense that it gives you “time in a bottle”? But allergy medicine? I just don’t get it.
Anyway, that wasn’t the point. The point is that I taped Bios for Adam Sandler, Shannon Doherty, Mr. T, The Wahlbergs and one more. Who was it? Hm. Dammit I forget. Maybe if I pop some antihistamines I can go back in time and find out.
Ok, back to the commercial. If your bottle of Zyrtec contained a digital watch tucked into the bottle? That would be time in a bottle. Or if it had a sprig of thyme, even that I could allow. Plus, I bet Zyrtec is in a blister pack anyway, which is a disgusting name.
So keep your eyes peeled for those Biographies. I have no idea how they’re going to chyron me (that’s that little thingerdoodle with the words that says your name and where you’re from.) I don’t recall them asking me. It could be an exciting surprise.