Here I am looking as if I’m enjoying myself.
Here I am storing nuts in my cheeks for the winter.
Here I am coolly passing judgment on something while at the same time looking slightly perturbed.
Here's where we called Michael Showalter on my show
On tonight's Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend
Alright my precious peaches. I have good news and bad news about tonight’s show. Because of the snowpocalysemageddon, which I do have to say is pretty phenomenal, Michael Showalter will not be on tonight’s show though we’ll be phoning him to make sure he isn’t trapped under or inside of a giant snowball. He is scheduled to appear on next week’s show which I will be sure to remind him forty five times on the phone tonight. The good news is tonight’s guest is Andrew Thompson who not only is a neato guy in his own right, having invented Punk Rock Pillowfight and being a member of Incredibly Strange Wrestling and an artist and a photographer and a musician and a glovemaker, but he’s instrumental in my moving to New York. I will explain more when he’s here, but if you miss the show, you will be so sorry it’s not even funny, it’s just sorry.
And today he reminded me about the time he and I saw Jimmy Fallon and Chris Kattan in a bar and I took this as a sign I should move to New York. It almost embarrasses me to mention this. Had I lost faith in the Magic 8 ball?
Anyway, don’t miss tonight’s show because it will be stupendous. Watch here at 10pm ET/7pm PT. RSVP for updates.
Bunnies in cups
Okay look, I’m not going to post EVERY photo from my Cute Overload calendar. I’ll only post the cute ones.
NOODLES! THE GAME (An explanation)
My weekend, the pilot, photos of my sister's photos
Care to hear all about my weekend? I’m pretty sure you would. First of all I filmed a pilot for a new show which is totally top secret and I could probably be killed for even posting this, that’s how top secret it is. Not really, but it’s secret. But not death-level secret. Just some slight maiming or maybe a harsh look.
Here I am smiling.
Here I am not smiling.
Here I am getting my makeup and hair done. Or did. No, done. Did? DAMMIT, SLANG!
Here I am with Mike Zegen from Rescue Me. We are against a green screen. I hope they use it to make it look like we’re flying or surrounded by ducklings.
Duckling.
And then after the shoot I went over to my sister’s because she was having a party. While there I took some pictures of her pictures. That’s me, my dad and my sister in the 1870s. We’d just traveled by covered wagon. I was in the navy, though I was very young. My dad wore rust colored pants so the enemy wouldn’t spot him in a cranberry bog. And my sister was involved in high-level baby espionage.
Here’s me wearing all sorts of rings as was the style back then.
And then after the party I came home and looked at this year’s Tobey calendar.
And don’t forget to see me on Red Eye tonight and watch my Ustream show tomorrow with Michael Showalter!
Cute puppies with zero news value
My sister sent me this photo which she found online last night. Pretty sure the one on the right is a killer.
In other news I’ll be on Red Eye tonight. And Michael Showalter is on my Ustream show tomorrow. And I have many more things to say and photos to post. Just you wait, people!
I need a publicity stunt double
Clean up last night was a breeze. I swept up the hair bits into a pile and then into a dustpan and then into an envelope. You probably think I’m lying. Well feast your eyes on this:
So yeah, there’s some of my hair in that envelope. Hair which Miles cut on the show last night. Someone made a joke that I’d be putting it on Ebay—I think it was Dustin—but then as I was about to throw it out he reminded me of the Ebaying and so perhaps I will. Should I?
Basically what I’m thinking is that it’s high time I pull some kind of publicity stunt. For the sake of the viewing public. I am providing a service here. I mean, really.
So I think I’ve been going about this all wrong, being all delightful and honest and unassuming and such.
It’s high time for me to asshole it up in a blatant attempt to grab publicity. But how?
Maybe I should be one half of a celebrity power couple. Granted I’m dead inside and my idea of romance is checking my email, but I think with the appropriate amount of motivational duckling face time (that’s where I stare at a photo of a duckling and psyche myself up to mix with other human beings) anything is possible.
Or maybe I need to get caught shoplifting… someone’s husband?
Or dognapping? I mean, I would like a puppy anyway and I’m poor so it kind of makes sense.
Or maybe I need to get in a public feud with someone?
I’m open to suggestion here.