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Author Archive | Alison Rosen

The technical term is musophobia

Caters to the modern mouse.

If you’re looking for a delightful place to go with ample seating, delicious food and mice scurrying around the patio, I recommend The Maritime Hotel. I was just there and while those in my party were of a more “Hey, it’s New York, they’re everywhere” kind of mindset, I’m of a more “holy crap, there’s mice here they’re going to crawl up my leg and then attack me even though that doesn’t make sense in any way, hence the term ‘phobia'” mindset. Incidentally, one of the guys in my party recently moved here from Chicago, so what does he really know when it comes to this city and our rodents? He knows about wind and pizza. And the White Sox. (Just kidding, Chicago! I’m sure you’re a lovely city!)

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On the way home

from TV this morning I started thinking that maybe I should try to do stand up, since, well wait, I should back up. The other night after Red Eye, Jim, whose full name is “Jim in audio,” because that’s how he introduces himself into the earpiece before telling me I have to move my hair because it’s hitting the mic, asked me if I’d done stand up recently. I said no, and that he was confusing me with Julia Allison who I think did some kind of something or other recently. He said that he was pretty sure he wasn’t because she wouldn’t do stand up and I said I know, but I think she did, and then he asked if I was sure I didn’t and I said I was sure but I really should because it seems like something I would do, right?

Did you possibly follow that? I barely did. Anyway, on the walk home which was quite cold I might add, I started thinking of jokes for a stand-up routine and I think they were maybe funny but then I came home and took a nap and now that I’m remembering them, I don’t know if they’re really funny. Or maybe I’m already jaded. I mean, I appreciate humor, I just don’t think it’s funny. I mean, I get what I’m trying to do there, I can see the effort, but I’m not going to pretend with myself because that’s not what I look to myself for. I mean, don’t get me wrong, me, I think it’s amusing, I just don’t know if I’m going to laugh. I mean, it’s not that I’ve heard it before, because I certainly haven’t, but I’ve heard similar, or if not similar, well, funnier. Not that it’s always about humor, sometimes it’s about being funny. Which I am. Just not, well, in that way.

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Recent Red Eye shots

I sat in the seat that Ann Coulter was in moments before. I was going to make some kind of “oh, so this is where you stick all us skinny conservative women” joke but then didn’t find an opening that made sense. Instead I made a tasteful Michael Hutchence joke. It was necessary though. And quite topical.



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