Update! It wasn’t even Vanilla Nut, it was French Vanilla. That’s how careless I am with the interloper’s feelings.
Author Archive | Alison Rosen
relationships
You know when you’re in the beginning stages of a really intense new relationship and you can barely bring yourself to spend time apart because it just feels wrong somehow–like your whole being is rebelling against the separation but you do it anyway because some part of you knows you need to even if it’s not what you want? Well today I drank Vanilla Nut flavored coffee instead of my beloved Mocha Fudge Nut coffee. I’m not going to lie, it felt weird. I kept reaching mindlessly for my cup of Mocha Nut Fudge flavored coffee only to get jolted out of my reverie—where did you go?—by this Vanilla Nut stranger. Vanilla Nut doesn’t know how I like to watch bad 80s comedies over and over again or that my first dog’s name was Woofie or that I’ve never been to Disneyland. It’s not true—I have—but Vanilla Nut doesn’t know that, how could he/she? You know?
coyotes, oversharing, coffee
This is interesting/cute. I must admit, I had weird mixed feelings when I first started reading because a coyote ate my first pet duck when I was about six—after the death of my mom’s parents it was the most traumatic thing I experienced as a wee one—but I’ve come around to liking this blog. Some day I’ll write more about the coyote eating Cotton (that was the duck’s name). Lately I’ve been thinking that I should write out the stories of the most traumatic things I’ve experienced, not really because they’d be fun for others to read but just as an exercise in maybe letting go, and since I think I have elements of PTSD which is a term I usually toss around as a joke but that’s probably because humor is a coping mechanism–and also my favorite thing ever in the world—so it’s hard to really say what I mean. What do I mean? Exactly. So instead I will say that my new job is nice in that on late nights they buy us dinner and let us come in later the following morning. It’s kind of scary how much it’s the little things that can make a difference. Also, the mocha nut fudge flavored coffee pods which I’m addicted to.
Soothing
is not the word I’d use to describe the roof alarm which has been alarming since I got home a little while ago. When I first walked into my apartment I thought “hey, it’s not so loud in here,” but it’s slowly become louder and louder over the sound of me not wanting to hear it.
Career highlight ahead
I’m going to be contributing to three shows on the Soap Opera Network. Soap Opera Channel? I forget, but given Tobey’s affinity for All My Children, you can imagine how exciting this is! Also, I’m manning one half of the debate column in Page Six Magazine this Sunday so be sure to pick it up if you’re in the city or nearby environs. I’ll be squaring off with (squaring off against? how exactly does one “square”?) another notorious commentator—whose last name is my first name—and there will be little tiny pictures of both of us. Tiny pictures!
Finally, four people have looked at me like I’m insane tonight because of my insistence that it’s common knowledge, at least on television, that if you receive a suspicious package you put it in the shower. Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Yes, okay yes, fine, my understanding of this is largely informed by the episode of Facts of Life where Tootie is obsessed with Jermaine Jackson but I’m pretty sure this can’t be the only place I’ve encountered it. Thoughts?
An Open Letter To The Mold Found In My Building Which They Are Testing Which Means I Don't Have To Be There Until Noon Tomorrow
I love you!
Someone went to the gym today
It was me! Truly! That’s why I’m all muscle and sinew right now, as opposed to this morning when I was all flab and wasted potential. But my body is my temple and I have totally moved around the interior couches today if you know what I mean. I mean, I have completely feng shui’d my tendons and I even hung mirrors on my parasympathetic nervous system so it appears bigger. Then I febreezed my chakras and set up a mail filing cubby hole system in my lymph nodes. Also, I hung some wind chimes from my spleen, because why not, you know?
I have no attention span but if I did
My new coworker Rachel, with whom I was once on Red Eye a long time ago for those who pride themselves on remembering this stuff, told me about this site yesterday, and how she reads it all the time now.
Just got a call from my dad
In case you were under the impression he thought it was a good idea that I’m walking around without health insurance right now, you are sorely mistaken.
a couple shots from last night
