I feel mentally out of breath which is a strange sensation since I’m not new to thinking, thoughts or stress, but the thing about taking the online Jeopardy quiz, which you have to take to be considered to be a contestant on the show, and let me just throw out there that I’m not even entirely sure I’d be eligible since I’m on TV however I don’t think I appear in any way that excludes me, aaaanyway, the thing about the quiz is there’s a second hand counting down each answer and there’s a giant Alex Trebeck sitting motionless on your computer and then there’s also theme music at the beginning and the end.
And how did I do? I have no idea and I’ll never find out, the web site makes that pretty clear, but I know I got a few of the more obvious questions wrong and a few of the more obscure ones right.
Goddamn you Simon Legree and Tospy, which book are you from?
And why oh why did I not write which president was in office in 1812 when it turns out my guess was correct?
And let’s not begin to talk about the House of Representatives shall we?
Or that thing about Mozart and the planet or the smallest great lake or the peak in the Alps or, um, the midwest state whose postal code is a preposition.
Am I ruining my chances by blogging this? Am I not supposed to repeat it? No one told me anything. I need direction, Alex!
Yeah. So clearly I probably won’t be appearing on Jeopardy. Although there were 50 questions so maybe I did better than this blog post would suggest. Might I say that I kick ass at rhyme time? Totally got that one right.
Whether you make it or not, you’ll still be awesome. Way cooler than Trebeck.
I’m not sure blogging about your experience will exclude you from consideration just don’t try saying Alex Trebek’s name backward http://tinyurl.com/bwr4dd
Ya know its not like on SNL with Trebeck and Sean Connery right? They don’t let you insult The Trebeck. He doesn’t have Oprah’s power, but he still killed that man in Reno to watch him die.
Good luck on the test.
Simon and Topsy are from Uncle Tom’s Cabin.
P.S. Love you on REDEYE
I hope you make it to Jeopardy one day and smoke Ken Jennings into a thousand little crumbs.(Is this the kind of response your looking for ?)….
Or how about let’s not talk about history or politics at all? Hey, the way I see it, if you don’t get selected, it’s THEIR loss. And it’s ok to talk about the quiz…I mean, it’s better to shaft them first before they shaft you, right? Just go out on a high note with your middle finger in the air.
No FOL? Damn shame.