So tonight I was on the train when who should walk in but one of the producers of Red Eye. “I heard you won!” he said excitedly. “Yes, it’s true,” I coolly responded, because at this point I was tired of the little people with their mundane words of praise and banal well wishes. He wanted to know if I felt like maybe Red Eye had played a part in making me the phenom that I am today. He didn’t use the word phenom, but I could see it in his eyes.
I grew royally miffed and really let him have it.
By the way, when I grow royally miffed that means I’m miffed but wearing a crown or some other kind of regal headwear. Could even be a purple fez or gilded sombrero.
I mean, I’m just so tired of people wanting a piece of me. All day long my life has changed.
And then I agreed that maybe Red Eye could claim a slice of my comedic yeah-sure-whateverness and he said I ought to put a shout out on my blog so here goes:
Hey Red Eye, thanks!
Anyway, I’ll be on Red Eye Wednesday night/Thursday morning.
In other news, my neighborhood is very Halloweeny and I love it because it’s Halloweeny in the third grade sense of that word, not the horror sense of the word.
In even more news, I’m reading Twilight which all the other 13 year olds read ages ago. I think but I’m late to this YA party. Y.A. is young adult, by the way. See, it went down like this:
Another adult: Are you a reader?
Me: In theory
The other adult: I mean, do you like to read? Books?
Me: Well, I know how if that’s what you mean.
The other adult: Have you read any of the Twilight books? I can’t put them down.
Me: I haven’t even heard of them!
And then there I was, searching the teen fiction section of Barnes & Noble for a gift for my imaginary teen cousin.
And now I can’t put the book down either, which makes typing kind of difficult to say the least.
How come nobody writes books for us RAs (regular adults)? I would read books if they weren’t for all those young adults.
Damn!
Toddrod
So you win NYFR and almost immediately you’re scheduled on Red Eye. Now there’s some cause and effect. They’re just hoping to catch a small reflection from your career success glow.
This is a critical point in your career, Alison, so it’s important to make the right choices. As your pseudo business manager, I strongly suggest you turn down any offers from The View, Regis and Kelly, Rachael Ray, WWE Raw, Dr. Phil, Jerry Springer, Fear Factor, Howard Stern, Room 401, Opie and Anthony, Cheaters, Shariah TV, Tyra Banks, Stump the Schwab, Road Rules, My Super Sweet 16, the next Jackass movie, Celebrity Rehab, Little Mosque on the Prairie, Celebrity Boxing, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila.
However if you get an offer from Pants Off Dance Off, trust me – you gotta do it.
Presently I’m reading the Chronicles of Narnia.
The last few years I’ve been catching up on a lot of reading I should have done in my teen years. Philip K Dick is fun.
Damn you are fucking funny! Yeah, I don’t read much…just no time! I’ll just share in your reading experiences!
Red Eye…hmmmm, seems I was the first of the bloggers critical of certain people on that show…then I got somewhat miffed and bored and stopped watching. I really like the show’s concept but…well….yeah! I’m not sure if RE had any impact on your comedic rise but it could have. If it wasn’t for RE than I wouldn’t be here so I won’t bash it!
As your other pseudo business manager, I’d totally recommend running with your new found fame in the Big Apple! Don’t just run but sprint like a MoFo! You are going to be a big star someday…well to us bloggers you already are! (Now everybody say Ahhhhhhhhhhhh)
Actually Alison, I think you should make a new video on the streets of NYC. You could ask people if they know that you are NYC funniest reporter, and then say funny stuff. It could be part of your resume.
I dunno what I’m talkin about.
Toddrod
To my fellow brethren in the Secret Society of Alison Rosen Fans:
*Greg Gutfeld usually posts his ‘Greg-alogue’ commentary on his website for that night’s Red Eye show earlier in the day and then announces who the guests will be–Bloggers can then comment on the ‘Greg-alogue’ and suggest ‘Double-entendre’ introductions for that night’s guests. :`)
It should be up later tonight or sometime tomorrow~Here’s a link if anyone has got any good ideas for AMR introductions:
http://www.dailygut.com/
Durka Durka
As I’ve suggested before, I think Greg should do an intro without the innuendo but with the sexual part.
“And this is Mike Baker. He’s a beautiful man and I’d like to sodomize him in the Green room.”
“Bill is my pathetic side kick. I emotionally abuse him and use his body for sexual gratification when I’m unable to pickup someone prettier at the bar.”
I think this would just kill those of us who watch the show regularly. The show is a bit tamer than it was 6-8 months ago. I wonder if they could even do an intro as blatant as these?