The following is upsetting and kind of disgusting and also sad, so if you don’t like those things, quit reading right this minute!
So I’m walking along and I see something on the street that catches my eye enough that although I’ve passed it, I go back to take a closer look. Is it a deflated balloon? Mucus? A weird blob of especially shiny possibly chewed food? Gum? As I get closer I realize it’s a baby bird, or something that one day would have been a baby bird. I can make out the darkness of the eye and the tiny little beak and the very very tiny little featherless wings. It had one foot sticking straight up in the air but it was so little it was easy to miss. And then there was a lot of brown blobby spherical action on the lower part, so I don’t really know what it was or how this happened or whether this little bird abortion ever hatched or if it was just about to hatch or if something pecked all its feathers off, which seems the least likely.
This is not a metaphor.
But it is strange considering all the bird talk on this blog. I mean, it was so small I couldn’t even poop into its mouth.
That will only make sense to those who’ve been regularly reading.
To anyone else: I’m sorry.
Quote of the upsetting and disgusting:
“Can someone please kill the composer of that irritating $5 DOLLAR FOOT LONG SONG BY Subway !!!!!!!!”
—Jared
My father used to raise pigeons, and race them against other people’s pigeons. I remember one time he asked me to take care of his birds while he and my mother went on a vacation to Cancun. One of his pigeons had 2 baby birds, and it suddenly was up to me to place a small metal bracelet around their ankles. The day after I put the bracelets on the 2 baby birds, I went to check on them, and one of them had died. I felt so guilty, and sad. My father told me that was just how life is for baby birds. Sometimes they don’t survive, and there is no reason, no explanations. Life can be cruel to our feathered friends.
Toddrod
Oh no! You’re not baiting me into any more comments related to poop or birds!
Can you change the topic to flatulence, mid-life crisis…anything!?!?!
Maybe a nest was blown off a roof or ledge of a building? That’s my best guess.
Hey Ted – is the Alison coloring book done yet? I have to buy my niece a birthday present and that would be a good one. Or maybe I can just print the images from your Activity Pit page and staple them together. She won’t know the difference.
This infact was a Birdy Abortion. There was a huge fat disgusting bird who was sleeping around and then having abortions for her “Performance Art Piece” Said piece was called “Freak the hell out of Alison: A Poop for all Ages”
She’ll have a huge display this week at MOMA if your looking for more bird abortions. Word is abortion taste like chicken.
No unfortunately, the Rosen Coloring book for children had to suspend production! Without high quality images, I can’t produce those “hand drawn”….I mean photoshop images! So you MAD video cappers need to capture me some stuff in Hi-Res (if possible)….Porfavor!
—-
Just a footnote, I do add “Brush strokes” and “Shading” so it isn’t all photoshop! I consider myself an eArtist and Chairman of the RosenFan Art Club Committee
Are you at the gym today? I miss you Alison! Yeah, I’m addicted.
Toddrod
Brb.
a) Clothes Off. – Gym Class Heroes.
aa) We don’t have to take our clothes off. – Jermaine Stewart.
aaa) Round and Round. – Tevin Campbell.
Michael.
La.
I was hoping Alison would give us the scoop on Red Eye’s 300th episode bash the other night.
Read about it here: tinyurl.com/3rcn8v
So can you fill us in Alison and tell us who hooked up, if anyone got smashed or danced on a table? Come on – name names. It’s just between us. We won’t tell.