You might have to take my what?
So the chances of the doctor needing to remove my uterus when he goes in to remove the blood-filled ovarian cysts (oh, were you eating? sorry) are very small. Very very very small. However I still need to sign consent forms saying it’s okay if they take my ovaries (chances of me waking up minus one of those are a little less remote since one of them is the size of a hobo’s knapsack and one is the size of a proper London flat) (okay I made that up, one is enlarged and one is more enlarged and the more enlarged one might have to be removed if all the “good ovary” has been “used up”–those are the Dr.’s words–which is delightful) (where was I? the problem with all these parentheticals is I lose my train of thought). So anyway I must sign consent forms saying I’m okay with waking up in a bathtub full of ice with a note saying to go to the hospital because they removed my kidney. At least that’s what it feels like. Or I can refuse to sign the consent forms which means if they go in and find out things are fucked and they need to remove stuff (that would only be in a cancer situation which again, is not what anyone is really expecting but they have to rule it out etc) then they close me back up and give me the bad news and then open me back up again and start the looting of defunct and/or weaponized organs.
Considering how little I’m looking forward to one surgery I really don’t want to have two, so part of me says I should just consent and trust the doctors who are aware that I really want to have children and have promised to do everything they can to preserve that option.
The thing is that I’ve always known I wanted kids but I’ve never felt any immediacy about it, I’ve always felt that it’s something, like everything else, that will happen when the time is right. I just never considered complications.
And while I’m feeling sorry for myself, I have to say that, having watched a loved one go through cancer, this whole thing is reminiscent in that I’m having surgery and they don’t quite know what they’re going to find and after the surgery they will determine a course of treatment (if it’s endometriosis which it most likely is) and it’ll be the kind of thing I’m dealing with/managing the rest of my life.
And if it is endometriosis the treatment will involve (I think) increasing doses of hormones so I will be moody and uncomfortable.
So, yeah.
I know that no one is promised health or a long life and the fact I’ve lived this long without a hospital stay or surgery is the unusual thing–more unusual than something cropping up that I now must tend to–and millions upon millions of people deal with this stuff all the time and it’s like jury duty–it’s now my turn– but I’m the kind of nerd who vaguely enjoyed jury duty and I don’t expect I will enjoy much of any of this.
Update: I should add that the surgery is happening at the end of the month as I realize it sounds like I’m writing this on the way into the O.R.
Hope you'll be fine. Wishing you the best. 🙂
On the plus side, have all the jello you want.
Alison, you're almost 40. If you want kids, you should do it now.
Much love & prayers, my friend.
You have the humor and kind heart to not only get through this, but to grow so much as a result. To the Cyst: “Zip it and get the heck outta here bitch.” 🙂
Chin up Rosen. Put up an address so we can shower you with gifts. We'll give you the sweet hookup. Ovarian Cysts are a part of life…shitty quote…how about…hope you feel better soon! Come back swinging and groin kicking sister. P.S.ALWAYS wear boots around Fitzs-Dog. That creepy foot fetish bastard will probably sneak a peek while you're sleeping in the hospital bed. High black boots in surgery I say!
I had a lung cancer scare 4 years ago, but, apparently I don't sweat the BIG stuff either. Not bragging, that's just what I was. I hope you're not fretting to the point of losing sleep. If you are satisfied with the competence of your surgeon/doctors, sign the consent. One surgery is WAYYYYY better. If kids are meant to be, they will come. We love you and still need you.
Best wishes to you Alison,I have had 2 women in my family that have ovarian cysts removed and they are perfectly fine now.Any kind of surgery is scary especially when it involves someone doing things INSIDE you're body.But you have nothing to worry about because you're friends,family and all of you're fans are sending a lot of love and positive energy you're way.Thank you for being you and keep you're head up,you will be fully recovered and telling all the cunts to zip it in no time.Love you Alison!!
Allison, please take heart.
When I was ~10 my sister (then in college) had a similar problem, needed a similar surgery and in fact had one of her ovaries was removed. She didn't find out until after she was out-of-recovery.
As you can imagine, this made her very upset. But, over time she got past it and eventually finished college and a masters (raised Jewish after-all), got a great job, met someone, got married and had 2 kids.
The surgery took place over 35 years ago (for reference, I'm a month older than Carolla). So I'm betting these types of procedures have gotten better since then.
Today, my sister's kids are like 27 & 21 (I should know this…) and my sister, now 53 is the healthiest person in our family.
Be well,
Paul in NYC
Good luck! When you go in to the er will someone replace you on the show?
God Bless. Who knew having a penis has advantages?
I hate that your going through this Alison! I wish the best for you. Reach out to your friends and family cause that's what they are there for! You fan!
No matter how minor the procedure they make you sign all those consent forms. It's always disconcerting. However, they will only take your uterus in a worse case scenario wherein that would be your only option anyway. In that case, they might as well do it while they're in there. Once you've got them under your skin, they will have worn out their welcome. You won't want to invite them back.
Alison — it must suck having to worry about all that during the holidays, which I know is your favorite time of the year. What does your father think? Having a doctor in the family is a big advantage. I doubt my parents (having no medical knowledge whatsoever) would be of any help.
I think my response would be “Do what you think is best” since they're supposedly the “experts.” But then if they removed some body part I thought was particularly important, I would be pretty upset.
Anyway, do what you think is best. My best wishes are with you. And you are always in my prayers — seriously!!
And WOW!!! What a cute picture of Tobey!!
Exactly. Fertility starts to fall at 25. Then very quickly at 30. Then off a cliff after 35. So many wealthy (by world and historical standards) women just assume they get to choose when and how they will have kids, only to find out that it's already been decided for them by nature.
This blog is useless without pictures
Hope you’ll be fine. Wishing you the best. 🙂
On the plus side, have all the jello you want.
Alison, you’re almost 40. If you want kids, you should do it now.
Much love & prayers, my friend.
You have the humor and kind heart to not only get through this, but to grow so much as a result. To the Cyst: “Zip it and get the heck outta here bitch.” 🙂
Chin up Rosen. Put up an address so we can shower you with gifts. We’ll give you the sweet hookup. Ovarian Cysts are a part of life…shitty quote…how about…hope you feel better soon! Come back swinging and groin kicking sister. P.S.ALWAYS wear boots around Fitzs-Dog. That creepy foot fetish bastard will probably sneak a peek while you’re sleeping in the hospital bed. High black boots in surgery I say!
I had a lung cancer scare 4 years ago, but, apparently I don’t sweat the BIG stuff either. Not bragging, that’s just what I was. I hope you’re not fretting to the point of losing sleep. If you are satisfied with the competence of your surgeon/doctors, sign the consent. One surgery is WAYYYYY better. If kids are meant to be, they will come. We love you and still need you.
Best wishes to you Alison,I have had 2 women in my family that have ovarian cysts removed and they are perfectly fine now.Any kind of surgery is scary especially when it involves someone doing things INSIDE you’re body.But you have nothing to worry about because you’re friends,family and all of you’re fans are sending a lot of love and positive energy you’re way.Thank you for being you and keep you’re head up,you will be fully recovered and telling all the cunts to zip it in no time.Love you Alison!!
Hang in there babe, hope you come through with all necessary gear intact and most importantly a clean bill of health.
Allison, please take heart.
When I was ~10 my sister (then in college) had a similar problem, needed a similar surgery and in fact had one of her ovaries was removed. She didn’t find out until after she was out-of-recovery.
As you can imagine, this made her very upset. But, over time she got past it and eventually finished college and a masters (raised Jewish after-all), got a great job, met someone, got married and had 2 kids.
The surgery took place over 35 years ago (for reference, I’m a month older than Carolla). So I’m betting these types of procedures have gotten better since then.
Today, my sister’s kids are like 27 & 21 (I should know this…) and my sister, now 53 is the healthiest person in our family.
Be well,
Paul in NYC
Good luck! When you go in to the er will someone replace you on the show?
God Bless. Who knew having a penis has advantages?
I hate that your going through this Alison! I wish the best for you. Reach out to your friends and family cause that’s what they are there for! You fan!
No matter how minor the procedure they make you sign all those consent forms. It’s always disconcerting. However, they will only take your uterus in a worse case scenario wherein that would be your only option anyway. In that case, they might as well do it while they’re in there. Once you’ve got them under your skin, they will have worn out their welcome. You won’t want to invite them back.
I have two friends who went through what it sounds like you are (family history of Ovarian Cancer and having cysts) and one has two healthy kids and one just had the cutest baby girl ever. There is plenty of hope to be had here. Best Wishes
Alison — it must suck having to worry about all that during the holidays, which I know is your favorite time of the year. What does your father think? Having a doctor in the family is a big advantage. I doubt my parents (having no medical knowledge whatsoever) would be of any help.
I think my response would be “Do what you think is best” since they’re supposedly the “experts.” But then if they removed some body part I thought was particularly important, I would be pretty upset.
Anyway, do what you think is best. My best wishes are with you. And you are always in my prayers — seriously!!
And WOW!!! What a cute picture of Tobey!!
Exactly. Fertility starts to fall at 25. Then very quickly at 30. Then off a cliff after 35. So many wealthy (by world and historical standards) women just assume they get to choose when and how they will have kids, only to find out that it’s already been decided for them by nature.
Wow, god bless Alison and best wishes. Having undergone surgery recently that presented the potential of more serious consequences, my advise to you is listen to your heart. It may sound silly, but believe that your heart will tell you what is best for you. And consider yourself blessed that you have parents who I know care very much for you. All the Best!
Well even with it being way beforehand, good luck and my best wishes are with you that all is fine.
This blog is useless without pictures
My ex girlfriend had ovarian cysts and would often double-over in unbearable pain – I hope you aren't having that symptom.
My advice is to not read the consent forms, just sign them. I will be praying for a full recovery and for you to wake up with a brood of ducklings by your bed.
Hang in there babe, hope you come through with all necessary gear intact and most importantly a clean bill of health.
I had a conversation tonight with my boss's boss's boss, and he told me he didn't want me doing any donkey work — only he (a lifelong New Yorker) pronounced it “dunkey”!! I had never heard of that before you guys encountered it on the podcast the other day.
Sending all good thoughts your way for surgery. Best wishes to you!
Wow, god bless Alison and best wishes. Having undergone surgery recently that presented the potential of more serious consequences, my advise to you is listen to your heart. It may sound silly, but believe that your heart will tell you what is best for you. And consider yourself blessed that you have parents who I know care very much for you. All the Best!
Well even with it being way beforehand, good luck and my best wishes are with you that all is fine.
My ex girlfriend had ovarian cysts and would often double-over in unbearable pain – I hope you aren’t having that symptom.
My advice is to not read the consent forms, just sign them. I will be praying for a full recovery and for you to wake up with a brood of ducklings by your bed.
I had a conversation tonight with my boss’s boss’s boss, and he told me he didn’t want me doing any donkey work — only he (a lifelong New Yorker) pronounced it “dunkey”!! I had never heard of that before you guys encountered it on the podcast the other day.
Sending all good thoughts your way for surgery. Best wishes to you!
OK.. I'm gonna just type this, and hope I don't piss anyone off. So here it goes….
When you say “ovarian cysts” for some reason I am picturing the doctors opening you up, and popping those cysts just like the packing bubbles you use when you send something fragile on UPS. “Pop!” and the doctors giggle like kids….
I'm sorry I just typed that.
Alison, as one of your long time fans, you know I love you like a sister! I am feeling some anxiety probably because of your anxiety. I hope that everything works out as hoped, and we all are worried for nothing. I'm feeling positive that all will be just fine. I will say my prayers for you, and pop some packing bubbles as a metaphor to … something.
Many hugs, and well wishes.
From experience, I can tell you that signing consent forms can seem scary, but reading them will just make it worse because you can’t concentrate on what they say anyway(At the time, I was falling into sepsis and in excruciating pain. I probably signed a contract with TMZ).
Rather than mouth useless platitudes, I’ll just say that I’ll be wearing my ARIYNBF comfy t-shirt until this is over. You’ll come through this with lots of new material and we’ll love you even more. And I’m still doing the Wavy Pencil Dance with you. It’s on my Bucket list and everything.
OK.. I’m gonna just type this, and hope I don’t piss anyone off. So here it goes….
When you say “ovarian cysts” for some reason I am picturing the doctors opening you up, and popping those cysts just like the packing bubbles you use when you send something fragile on UPS. “Pop!” and the doctors giggle like kids….
I’m sorry I just typed that.
Alison, as one of your long time fans, you know I love you like a sister! I am feeling some anxiety probably because of your anxiety. I hope that everything works out as hoped, and we all are worried for nothing. I’m feeling positive that all will be just fine. I will say my prayers for you, and pop some packing bubbles as a metaphor to … something.
Many hugs, and well wishes.
If anyone can have kids without an ovary, you can!
If anyone can have kids without an ovary, you can!
Wow, you sound extremely scared, and I think you maybe putting too much on this. Everything will be fine. Don't sweat the things you can do nothing about. Whatever it is, is done.
Wow, you sound extremely scared, and I think you maybe putting too much on this. Everything will be fine. Don’t sweat the things you can do nothing about. Whatever it is, is done.
As a nurse I've learned people facing scary situations don't want to hear not to worry, or how well other people did. As one dad told me about his son's cancer “don't tell me the statistics, either my kid will get better or he won't.” We all face these situations differently, and none of them is wrong. You are young and thoughts of your own mortality are new. If any good comes from bad situations like these, it's that it makes us more aware of our need to make the best of life.
I wish you all the best.
As a nurse I’ve learned people facing scary situations don’t want to hear not to worry, or how well other people did. As one dad told me about his son’s cancer “don’t tell me the statistics, either my kid will get better or he won’t.” We all face these situations differently, and none of them is wrong. You are young and thoughts of your own mortality are new. If any good comes from bad situations like these, it’s that it makes us more aware of our need to make the best of life.
I wish you all the best.
I'm a dentist does that help?
40–:)
yes Alison all of us are behind you, take care!
I’m a dentist does that help?
40–:)
yes Alison all of us are behind you, take care!
Yeah, so, ovarian cysts, cancer, blah blah. What we really want to know
is, whatever happened with the curtains? Grommets, or no grommets?
Yeah, so, ovarian cysts, cancer, blah blah. What we really want to know
is, whatever happened with the curtains? Grommets, or no grommets?
Do only one thing at a time. You body is not the place for……”well since were here” kinda thing.
You might end up without a leg it the doctor doesn't like the look of that mole on your heel.
Do only one thing at a time. You body is not the place for……”well since were here” kinda thing.
You might end up without a leg it the doctor doesn’t like the look of that mole on your heel.
When ever I hear / read you talking about this stuff I just want to give you a big hug.
I'm your age and like you am experiencing my first ever health scare. I've found that undergoing this did come with a benefit; I now have a much deeper understanding of the fact that I am mortal and we all really do only have a limited time here. I'm now living with more purpose and I now get that there's rarely a perfect time to do the really important stuff, you just gotta do it.
When ever I hear / read you talking about this stuff I just want to give you a big hug.
I’m your age and like you am experiencing my first ever health scare. I’ve found that undergoing this did come with a benefit; I now have a much deeper understanding of the fact that I am mortal and we all really do only have a limited time here. I’m now living with more purpose and I now get that there’s rarely a perfect time to do the really important stuff, you just gotta do it.
What a lovely tailspin into a lecture Nestle Crunch and Stonehead.
The first thing I thought of was “Oh fuck”, but I didn't make quote fingers. Empathy is a strong suit for me so that probably explains the use of quotes and fuck and oh; then, again in quotation marks, but still not making the gesture, I thought “I keep telling my girlfriend to harvest her eggs and sell them to farmers or in exchange for veto power on the Price Is Right Showcase Showdown”.I practically yell that last part in my sleep and I actually yell that last part in public; especially when we're in nice sit down restaurant like Red Lobster in Detroit and Isaiah Thomas is sitting across from us with that smug grin, like he's the canary that made it out of the coal mines.
It's 5:28 AM here and I haven't slept yet but all I really wanted to say was: hey dicks, lay off with the baby lecturing.
What a lovely tailspin into a lecture Nestle Crunch and Stonehead.
The first thing I thought of was “Oh fuck”, but I didn’t make quote fingers. Empathy is a strong suit for me so that probably explains the use of quotes and fuck and oh; then, again in quotation marks, but still not making the gesture, I thought “I keep telling my girlfriend to harvest her eggs and sell them to farmers or in exchange for veto power on the Price Is Right Showcase Showdown”.I practically yell that last part in my sleep and I actually yell that last part in public; especially when we’re in nice sit down restaurant like Red Lobster in Detroit and Isaiah Thomas is sitting across from us with that smug grin, like he’s the canary that made it out of the coal mines.
It’s 5:28 AM here and I haven’t slept yet but all I really wanted to say was: hey dicks, lay off with the baby lecturing.
Wishing you the best! I had to have emergency laparoscopic surgery last year to repair a ruptured ovarian cyst that I didn't know I had (basically had internal bleeding that wouldn't stop) and the doctor warned me they might have to take the ovary but all ended well. It was incredibly scary though so I completely sympathize with what you're going through. One second you think you're completely fine and healthy (I was 26 at the time of the surgery) and the next moment you're being told your fertility is compromised.
Just take care of yourself and be prepared for some horrifying bruising after the surgery. And ask lots of questions about any concerns you might have because somehow they never seem to tell you everything you would want to know when it comes to the recovery. I'm tough but I had a lot of scary moments (followed by scarier googling) wondering if the things I was experiencing were normal.
I went thru a similar procedure. Just try to keep in mind that now & immediately after your surgery are the worst you are going to feel and then everything does get better.
It is scary and I don't mean to diminish that. But hopefully I can offer the perspective that you will come out the other side much more comfortable and with a concrete answer of what was causing the problem(s).
There are some diet things that can help diminish some of the side effects of endometriosis if that is the diagnosis (to compliment, not replace hormone therapy).
Wishing you the best! I had to have emergency laparoscopic surgery last year to repair a ruptured ovarian cyst that I didn’t know I had (basically had internal bleeding that wouldn’t stop) and the doctor warned me they might have to take the ovary but all ended well. It was incredibly scary though so I completely sympathize with what you’re going through. One second you think you’re completely fine and healthy (I was 26 at the time of the surgery) and the next moment you’re being told your fertility is compromised.
Just take care of yourself and be prepared for some horrifying bruising after the surgery. And ask lots of questions about any concerns you might have because somehow they never seem to tell you everything you would want to know when it comes to the recovery. I’m tough but I had a lot of scary moments (followed by scarier googling) wondering if the things I was experiencing were normal.
I went thru a similar procedure. Just try to keep in mind that now & immediately after your surgery are the worst you are going to feel and then everything does get better.
It is scary and I don’t mean to diminish that. But hopefully I can offer the perspective that you will come out the other side much more comfortable and with a concrete answer of what was causing the problem(s).
There are some diet things that can help diminish some of the side effects of endometriosis if that is the diagnosis (to compliment, not replace hormone therapy).
Exactly, Neestle. From what I have read, my wife had what Alison had when she was in her early twenties; plus, we waited until she was 33 to try to start a family. Big mistake. However, we were lucky (IVF worked for us), but most other couples who had been through the same thing weren't. Sad as it is, nature doesn't care how much or little education a woman has before deciding when to shut the door on fertility.
Exactly, Neestle. From what I have read, my wife had what Alison had when she was in her early twenties; plus, we waited until she was 33 to try to start a family. Big mistake. However, we were lucky (IVF worked for us), but most other couples who had been through the same thing weren’t. Sad as it is, nature doesn’t care how much or little education a woman has before deciding when to shut the door on fertility.
Exactly, Neestle. From what I have read, my wife had what Alison had when she was in her early twenties; plus, we waited until she was 33 to try to start a family. Big mistake. However, we were lucky (IVF worked for us), but most other couples who had been through the same thing weren't. Sad as it is, nature doesn't care how much or little education a woman has before deciding when to shut the door on fertility.