Archive | 2010
Missed my interview with Chad Rogers from Bravo's Million Dollar Listing? Don't cry! (Part 1)
Follow Chad on twitter, why don’t you?
(If this bad boy isn’t cued up to the right spot, watch it here.)
Missed my interview with Pat Kiernan? Don't cry!
Is that guy good at the deadpan or is he GREAT at it, right? Anyway, read more about Pat Kiernan here and follow him here! 8 zillion more clips to come!
(If the above doesn’t cue up to the interview, watch here: http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/3798186/highlight/38263
Just hanging out, looking for dates
Wait, THIS is where to see me this week! (plus info about upcoming guests)
Wait, wait, wait wait wait. I said WAIT. Jeez, in a rush or something? So just when I told you where I’d be this week it seems things are changing. I will now be on Red Eye Jan 6 on the Fox News Channel at midnight PST/3am EST which is Wednesday night/Thursday morning. I will be fantastic, so if you’d like to leave comments about how great I was in advance, I’m currently accepting them.
Right after taping that, but before you see that, I will be doing my Ustream show at 8pm PST/11pm EST and I’m excited to have Chad Rogers from Bravo’s Million Dollar Listing as one of my guests that night.
CHAD!
Will I mention to Chad that Justin Bieber seems to have ripped off his hairstyle?
JUSTIN!
Or will I mention that Jack Wild from Oliver was waaaaay ahead of both of them?
THE ARTFUL DODGER!
It’s tough to say, really. There may be some hot Skippy action as well. And NY1 icon Pat Kiernan will be dropping in, phonewise, one of these nights too. UPDATE, HE WILL BE ON THIS WEDNESDAY’S SHOW! YAY!
PAT KIERNAN!
Speaking of hair, which I kind of always am, the following week on my Ustream show I most likely will be on the business end of a haircut given to me by a producer for a very popular TV show which rhymes with Faily Show. Because I’m ready for a big change in my style, I’m hoping he’ll lop off about 1/18th of an inch of my precious tresses, which I’ll then donate to a very tiny charity who makes very tiny wigs out of very tiny bits of hair. Like wigs for bugs. Bug merkins. Anyway, should more than 1/18th of hair come off the ends of my locks there very well may be tears. Not mine. He’ll also be cutting his own hair which is how we got into this whole mess. It was like this:
Him: I cut my own hair.
Me: No way. That’s impressive. Do you ever cut girl hair?
Him: I have before. I could give you a haircut on your Ustream show.
Me: Sure, why the fuck not.
It’s funny, because if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s relaxed about my hair! (If there’s two things I’m not, it’s relaxed about my hair and made out of ginger bread).
So in sum, your Wednesday looks like this:
8pm PST/11pm EST: Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend (Ustream, this is on your computer!)
12am PST/3am EST: Red Eye (Fox News Channel, this is on your television!)
Where to see me this week
Happy Monday! The next live Ustream show is Wednesday at 11pm EST and it will be fantastic if I have any say in the matter, which I do. We might have Skippy and don’t even pretend you don’t know exactly who I’m talking about because really, who are you trying to impress?
In other news, I should be working right now which is very 2009, you know?
Ok here I go. Back to work.
Oh wait but also I’ll be on Red Eye on Jan 7 JAN 6 which is Thursday night/Friday morning Wednesday night/Thursday morning! So basically this is really your week, me-wise.
In need of a resolution?
Happy New Year everyone! Today is January 1st but my calendar still says December because my sister who is a lawyer didn’t take the time to make Tobey calendars for all of us this year. What a bitch, right? I guess she put work ahead of crafts or something. Fuck that noise, I say. I’m starting the year on a positive note and I can’t be brought down by these kind of maneuvers designed specifically to ruin my chances at happiness because that’s exactly what it is. Oh, you might think it was just a lack of time or lack of planning but no, I think she deliberately set out to make ME have a bad 2010 by purposefully not making ME a Tobey calendar. God, I have have a mind to never speak to her again. That’s how positive my attitude is starting January 1. I mean, I think it’s January 1 but I can’t be sure because, well, the calendar thing.
But anyway, it’s come to my attention that not all of you have resolutions and a man or woman without a new year’s resolution is like a dog without a 2010 calendar. Did I mention that I’m staring at December?
So if you don’t have a resolution, and really, why would you because you only had a year to think of one, here are some good general ones.
a) Keep on keeping on
b) Do it!
c) Just put it out there
d) Say Yes to the universe
e) Say Maybe to the universe
f) Say no to carbs
g) Say please and thank you
h) Charge money for sex
i) Put a portion of the proceeds you are charging for sex into an I.R.A. account
j) Sing
k) Sing a song
l) Dance as if no one’s watching
m) Hide in a tree and watch someone dance
n) I can see you; you’re doing it all wrong
o) Hips! Throw your hips into it!
p) There is a bird giving me the evil eye
q) Not to be confused with the eagle eye, which you could be forgiven for thinking, given these circumstances
r) The circumstances, for those who’ve lost track, are that I am in a tree which happens to have wifi and I’m watching you dance like no one’s looking, which is ironic since I’m right here, and also there is a bird staring me down
s) I’m going to be kind to him, for he may be somebody’s mother
t) lose that baby weight!
u) men, I’m talking to you!
v) quit drinking
w) jello shots don’t count because they’re gross
x) get a move on
y) get on the good foot
z) take it all off!