Archive | 2010

You know what I need? Some kind of show wiki. In lieu of that, a show website. In lieu of that, just somewhere to go to get info about the show like a page. I need to get on that. In the meantime I’ll just regurgitate the info and spit it into your mouth like a bird, because who doesn’t love birds? Especially birds with info?

Here’s the phone-a-fan details  you need to know, should you want a piece of this action, which you pretty much do:

Okay my little quesadillas, this is how it’s going to go down. Instead of having the last fan choose who the next fan to receive a call on the show is, I’m thinking everyone who wants to get a call should send me their info and I will put all of it in a hat although it’s quite possible it won’t really be a hat and instead it will be a double boiler or a shoe.

If I call you and you don’t answer, I will pull another name out of the hat and you will silently curse your cruel fate.

So send me your name and number (I fear this request sounds creepy but I assure you I will not do anything with your numbers other than put them in said shoe or hat or boiler) to alisonrosenisyournewbestfriend at gmail dot com and you will be entered into lifechanging phone call territory. Speaking of territory, for now this is limited to the continental US because I can’t afford to call other places because that’s the kind of show I’m doing: a cheap one. BUT I LOVE YOU ALL!

And tune the fuck in for amazingness times a zillion.

Also on tomorrow’s show, awesome guests. I’m putting the final touches on the awesomeness now, so I don’t want to say for sure, because it’s not for sure, but then nothing in this world is. Except my love for you. That is rock solid. And the fact that I can only handle TV makeup on my face for so long before I want to peel it off or punch someone. See you tomorrow! Or later tonight!

Tom Rapp made this video and I love it!

“She loves, LOVES, the wavy pencil dance. On more than one occasion I thought she was going to hyperventilate and pass out.” [Click to read full review] (Thanks, TonyMu!)

Tonight’s show is a mere five hours away! Can you even hardly wait? My stomach is full of butterflies and my to-do lists are full of notes. Seriously, I don’t know how this is happening but instead of getting stuff done, I’m just generating lists. Perhaps my guest Andrew W.K. can help me with said problem because in addition to being a rock star he’s a motivational speaker and a club owner and a party maven. Seriously, he posts party tips on twitter often and they are both funny and profound.

So I have this idea that I want to have a BATTLE OF THE FANS with him where we pit our fans against one another because everyone loves a competition including me. I win! I just won, you guys! I didn’t even know I was playing!

I’m trying to figure out the best way to do this. Option 1: somehow I get one of my fans on the phone and one of his fans and then we quiz them. Option 2: We ask questions and fans chime in in the chat room and we see whose fans take longer to respond. If anyone has a feeling about which way would be better, make that feeling known. I think they both will work. But regardless, you should all be brushing up on your Rosen vs. W.K. trivia.

And also, I will phone-a-fan! And Koryn will stop by! And Dustin will be here! And there will be deleted tweets! And Just Me Or Everyone? And TV Time! And results from week 4 of The Dating Experiment! And a new song!

And I shouldn’t be the only one whose dating life is public and pitiful. If you’re having trouble finding that special someone, write in to the show and explain your situation and I will help you find love because that’s what best friends do. Or at the very least I will maybe read your email on the air. Hey, that’s something! Write to: alisonrosenisyournewbestfriend [at] gmail [dot] com. Put “I’m a catch” in the subject line. Do it! It will feel good.

And I’m happy to announce my second sponsor! It’s Saxton Manufacturing Co. They make ecofriendly water treatment products and ecofriendly water softeners and they also make drinking water filtration systems and they also used to have a duck named Quackers that wore a bonnet. And they won an Oscar for the design and manufacture of a silver recovery system for the motion picture industry! But back to the duck, they had to release the duck in a nearby park eventually because it was making too much noise and neighbors were complaining! But Quackers didn’t want to leave her human family. It’s so sad! (Eventually it worked out and Quackers went on to lead a wonderful life in the park with other ducks, I am sure!)

Saxton Manufacturing Co doesn’t normally sell directly to the end user (that’s you) but because they want to do a nice thing for the viewers of  my show, they’ll hook you up with whatever system you need at dealer cost which is roughly 60% off list. So if your water is bugging you, now you know who to call. In fact, I think that should be their slogan. For more info or for free hard water testing strips (I want these just to play with) email Saxtonar [at] gmail [dot] com and say you watch my show!

Man alive I am good at sales! I  just cold called myself and closed like six deals. Then I wheeled and dealed for an additional twenty minutes and then I won employee of the month! (That’s where they send you a different employee each month.)

Okay, see you tonight!!!!

Oh and also, I will be on Red Eye tomorrow, so write that shit down.