As I begin the arduous process of packing up my apartment and determining what goes with me to California and what stays behind to get tossed, donated or sold, I’m faced with the daunting task of figuring out what to do with the following:
my football phone
a collection of twist ties from loaves of bread
A Franklin Mint collector’s plate of “Scarlet and Her Suitors”
A small sculpture of a labradoodle made entirely of raisins
A large sculpture of a labradoodle made entirely of raisins
Franklin, from the Franklin Mint
syringes
salami
my collection of blood oranges
various zithers and lutes
1 autoharp
1 manual harp
assorted pairs of corduroy pants in men’s extra large
hair bows
bow ties
a well-worn scirocco
a gently-used scirocco
a brand new scirocco
a pile of parking tickets
18 remote controls
19 appliances
600 batteries
15 million roles of Kodak film
14 billion calligraphy pen ink cartridges
a rain forest
five footballs fields filled with sports fans
a banana (ripe)
clown shoes (matching pair, scuffed)
beef jerky
my football phone – Goodwill that puppy.
a collection of twist ties from loaves of bread – Put them back on the bread before they all get stale
A Franklin Mint collector’s plate of “Scarlet and Her Suitors” – Let her go.
A small sculpture of a labradoodle made entirely of raisins – Give it to me my boss has a labradoodle.
A large sculpture of a labradoodle made entirely of raisins – Give it to me my boss has a labradoodle.
Franklin, from the Franklin Mint – I did not know people collected him. Let me get back to you.
Syringes – The junkies on the corner? IDK
salami – ….A ME!!!
my collection of blood oranges -Over rated toss em.
various zithers and lutes – New York Philharmonic. Come on….next.
1 autoharp – See above.
1 manual harp – No use I don’t do manual’s.
assorted pairs of corduroy pants in men’s extra large – Give to an emo. Only after the legs a tapered.
hair bows – Aw too cute keep.
bow ties – Tobey’s wedding outfit.
a well-worn – Sirocco use for parts for the gently used sirocco. See below.
a gently-used sirocco – See above.
a brand new sirocco – TARP IT AND PUT IT ON BLOCKS ITS TO P[RETTY TO RUN.
a pile of parking tickets – Burn. ONLY AFTER YOU PAY EM.
18 remote controls – Salvage battery’s for that one draw… then round can em.
19 appliances – Give to Salvation Army this time. Spread the wealth.
600 batteries – That one stupid draw. Gotta take em. I’m telling you.
15 million roles of Kodak film – You’ll never develop them. Give to an art major maybe could make a lot of collages.
14 billion calligraphy pen ink cartridges – All dried up. I think they sell em like that.
a rain forest – Give to the other to replace what is missing. Or Sting.
five footballs fields filled with sports fans – Let fans go…we all know it’s the right thing to do. Water the grass and sell property.
a banana (ripe) – A banana bread duh.
clown shoes (matching pair, scuffed) – Buff the scuff out and then burn em I hate clowns.
beef jerky – That my dear…. is for me.
Now that you are moving back to California, does this mean I can’t buy your yellow drum kit?!?! What does Mama Rosen have to say about this!?!?
Now that you are moving back to California, does this mean I can't buy your yellow drum kit?!?! What does Mama Rosen have to say about this!?!?
Hair bows! California is a lucky state that you’re returning. It will feel good knowing you’re local.
Hair bows! California is a lucky state that you're returning. It will feel good knowing you're local.
How much do you want for the lute?
How much do you want for the lute?
I’ll take the banana and the clown shoes…please don’t ask why
I'll take the banana and the clown shoes…please don't ask why