RECAP: Mad Men, Season 4, Ep 2, Christmas Comes But Once A Year

Sally dreams of a burger

The episode begins with the faux Drapers (Betty, the three kids and that senator/congressman/whatever he is guy) at a Christmas tree farm. I’m excited that in the dead of summer we’re watching something Christmasy because I like Christmas. You know who else likes Christmas? Don Draper, or rather he doesn’t dislike it, he just doesn’t like this Christmas. We learn this later in the episode when he’s having a conversation with the actress (below) who was killed on Grey’s Anatomy only, unfortunately, to be alive on Mad Men. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Nora Zehetner

Not Nora Zehetner (apparently)

So the faux Drapers are tree shopping and suddenly Glen, the creepy kid from season 1 or 2 (or 3?) who had a strange bond with Betty and whose mother was liberated says to Sally, “Y’all just walked right by me” which you probably would too, because, I mean, come on. Now see I thought he spoke in that monotone halting way on purpose but my dad on the phone last night suggested he might just be a terrible actor and now that’s all I can see. Bad school-play-style acting. As opposed to a certain direction. But I doubt much happens that’s not deliberate on the show so I’m going back to thinking everyone on set must like his bad acting and think it suits the character.

Glen, whose mom has now remarried making him an expert in such things forecasts the future to Sally, which is that her mom will also remarry and probably have another baby and Sally should ask for something big for Christmas now. Nu Bobby shows up and asks Glen if he’s also buying a tree and Glen says, kind of sharply, that he’s working and shows some twine cutter thing with a lanyard on it which Sally thinks has “cool colors.” And can we talk about Sally for a moment? Last week I pointed out that she looked different but not enough people are talking about her dramatic weight loss. People probably think she grew out of her baby fat however as someone who’s been trying to grow out of baby fat for the last twenty something years I can say that it doesn’t happen like that and you just know that poor girl is dizzy in between takes and ordering egg white omelettes and black coffee from the catering truck while everyone else eats rice pilaf and ice cream sundaes and fajitas. “Oooh, it’s the fajita grill today!” they’re probably all saying while she sits there with her sad tomato slices and possibly half a cup of high fiber cereal. Poor Sally. The Draper kids leave and Glen says to Sally, “Maybe I’ll call you.” Menacing!

Then we see Don in his magical new offices which apparently were constructed during the hiatus and he’s typing away at a typewriter and his secretary comes in asking if it’s a good time or bad time. His response? “Yes.” He’s so quixotic! She gives him some messages and tells him he has some important mail which is a letter from a kid to Santa. He instructs her to open it and she begins reading.  It’s from Sally who explains that Bobby thinks this letter is going to the North Pole but they should keep up the ruse which the secretary points out is spelled “R double O S.” Don attributes it to “too much TV” but I’m pretty sure it’s  low blood sugar. The letter includes a list of things the kids want but most of all they want  Don to be there Christmas morning even though they know he can’t be. Bitches, always wanting a piece of Don! He looks temporarily upset and his secretary looks like she’s about to cry as she stuffs the letter back in the envelope. Don gives her some money to pick up the gifts. The secretary asks if she can bring a date to the party and Don explains that Lane has scaled back the Xmas revelry to a glass of gin and a box of Velveeta as there’s all sorts of belt tightening around the new office but she’ll be getting a bonus. She thanks him and says this is good because now she won’t have to send a letter to Santa. Everyone is amused.

Next we see Roger opening his office door to Freddy Rumsen whom we last saw drunk, pissing himself and getting fired. Freddy tells Roger his office looks like an Italian hospital which means nothing to me. Anyone? Roger offers Freddy “something brown” which Freddy declines saying “maybe later” even though we all know he’s sober now. I mean, apparently Roger who rightly cracks that with his hair you can’t even see him in the new office (because it’s painted with a fresh coat of Just For Men, Silver Fox) doesn’t know, but everyone else knows.

Roger in the Italian hospital

Roger says the Italian hospital is Potemkinville and Freddy says he walked out of JWT with a present under his arm and then they pass cryptic notes to one another using the same code language Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield used in Sweet Valley Twins.

Swithigeet Vithigalley Twithigins!

The present Freddy’s referring to is the Ponds cold cream account. Apparently the client and Freddy are in a fraternity together which again, everyone realizes means AA except Roger probably thinks it means Alpha Sigma Pi. Freddy says he can’t handle the account himself but he’s gone 16 months without a drop and if it doesn’t work out Roger can keep the account. One caveat though: He doesn’t want Pete Campbell the pissle blower anywhere near this. He’s surprised Campbell is included in this new venture. Roger says he has “no comment.”

Then Freddy sees Peggy, who’s talking with Don, and Peggy enthusiastically greets Freddy and he calls  her “ballerina” and Freddy says he feels like the “tin man” because at the end of Wizard of Oz the tin man worked on a Ponds cold cream account. Pete Campbell and Freddy shake hands and thickness is in the air and Don cracks wise and pours a drink and Roger jokes that it’s a little early for that because hello, they drink all day, it’s never too early for that. Freddy declines like the wet blanket he is. They talk about Ponds and Freddy says he needs to stay creatively involved and Don says that’s fine so long as he doesn’t mind working with “this old thing” meaning Peggy. Roger does an end run on Pete who then tries to bring up the thing that’s “on everyone’s mind.” Once again Roger steps in and says they all want to know if he can be Santa at the Christmas party which is foreshadowing because Roger himself ends up being Santa! Even though it’s the part Freddy says he was born to play!

Then we see the faux Drapers (“Francis residence” is how Carla answers the phone) and it’s Glen calling for Sally but he says his name is Stanley because he’s creepy. He wants to know why Sally and the fam haven’t moved yet and Sally says she doesn’t know but she hates it in that house because she keeps thinking she’s going to see her dad. Glen/Stanley says they’ll never get back together now that Betty is doing it with someone else. “Doing what?” asks Sally. Then Glen/Stanley gets called off the phone. “One day they’ll wake up and want to move, you’ll see,” says Glen/Stanley, plotting and fingering his lanyard. (Not really.)

Then we’re back at the agency where the key players are getting a presentation from the Motivational Research Group which is a focus grouping agency it seems that’s determined the way consumers act and operate and answer questionnaires. Fay Miller is leading the presentation and she isn’t just a shapely blond woman but a force to contend with because she helped create the indelible image of the carefree woman in white pants used to sell feminine hygiene products. She wants the group to be familiar with the MRG’s tactics so she wants them to take a questionnaire designed to get at what people really want, not what they say they want. It involves questions about childhood, which, she says, creates a level of intimacy with the consumer, and Don gets the  hell out of there claiming he has an appointment because he doesn’t do memories and childhood and the past.

Next Don wakes up to a banging sound and he goes in the hall and it’s that woman from Grey’s Anatomy. Her name is Phoebe and she’s wearing a nurse outfit and she claims Don always grunts when he puts his keys in the door which is why she’s inviting him to her party for which she’s hammering decorations. He clearly doesn’t remember her, though she says he’s been checking her out. He says he’s late for work and she says he should thank her in that case for waking him up. Saucy!

Then Freddy and Peggy have a disagreement about the Ponds ad and Peggy says it’s not just the client they need to please it’s their image at stake and asks if Freddy’s seen their recent work because it’s very different than a woman backstage using Ponds cold cream with copy that says, “The choice of professionals.” The double rainbow video? That was Peggy’s work. The Old Spice guy? All Peggy. The BP Oil Spill? A little something Peggy concocted to distract people from what she was really up to in Afghanistan.

Peggy, snapping up domain names

Then Roger comes in all drunk from a lunch with the client which Freddy knows is his fraternity brother and Freddy’s all worried. It seems like Freddy is the client’s sponsor. They make plans to go to a meeting. Freddy is kind of condescending to Peggy who’s not having any of it.

Then Lee Garner, Jr. of Lucky Strike is calling Roger and he’s in town and wants to know why he wasn’t invited to the Christmas party which means they need to up their Christmas party rating from “convalescent home to Roman orgy,” says Roger. Lane tries to explain the finances to Roger. There’s a very real system of money coming in and money going out and it all adds up. Then Roger calls Joan (“Joannie”) into his office to see that the party details are taken care of and that she isn’t to be offered to Garner, Jr. She tells Roger he isn’t the one who needs reminding. Roger remembers a particular dress with a bow that Joan wore last year. She says he has a good memory. He asks her to wear it again. It’s all wistful and that was then and this is now.

Then we’re in Peggy’s apartment and her new boyfriend with the bad haircut shows up wanting to get it on. She’s working and her bed is covered with work which he says is metaphorical. He wants to be her first and says to her she’s “so old-fashioned.” “No, I’m not,” she says, since she’s actually kind of loose and strumpety and had a baby with Pete Campbell. Mark her doofus boyfriend tells her about how in Sweden they’re all sexually libertine and blah blah and she tells him he should go home.

Then we’re back in the  hallway with Don and Reed from Grey’s Anatomy and she’s all done up and he’s drunk and she helps him into his apartment and she puts him to bed and he tries to put the moves on her and she demurs and he wonders how she can stand working at a hospital and she explains she’s now typecast as someone who works in the medical field but whereas in the present day she can play a doctor, in the Mad Men era she would only play a nurse.

Then we’re at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce and they’re setting  up for the party and Joan’s in charge and Peggy and Freddy are arguing about who to feature in the ad and to Freddy it’s all about how using the cream will help you get married or how if you don’t use it you’ll never get married whereas Peggy sees it more about indulging yourself and then Peggy calls Freddy “old-fashioned” which, you see, is a shitty thing to be called in this episode. Peggy apologizes and Freddy says it’s ok but he looks hurt.

Then there’s  a commercial break and that Dove ad that makes you think it’s Mad Men but really it’s a Dove commercial comes on.

Then creepy Glen/ Stanley phones the Draper/Francis residence and since it keeps ringing he and another kid break in and throw eggs and cereal all over but leave Sally’s room untouched except he leaves his lanyard in her bed so she knows it was Glen/Stanley helping her with the problem of living in that house she hates. Because when you see that someone has smeared cereal and jelly all over your counter, you move right away.

Back at the party everyone is sharing Christmas plans and Roger’s wife asks Don if he’s going anywhere and he says he’s going to Acapulco alone and she says it’s his own fault and Roger makes a joke about how yes poor him with all those Acapulco honeys he’ll be eying. Incidentally Roger doesn’t use the word “honeys” and neither do I in real life so I’m not sure why I just  used it. Hm.

The older men (Lane, Bert, the head of Motivational Research Group) are talking about socialism and the blond woman who invented women in white pants is sitting there gazing at Don and then Lee Garner, Jr. shows up and everyone makes a big to-do.

Post-Conga line Lee wants to know where Santa is and wants Roger to put on the suit. Roger tries to avoid this apparent humiliation and there’s a very silent but pronounced power struggle and eventually Roger puts on the suit.

The Draper-Francis’s return home and Henry Francis suspects it’s kids who did this and goes off to see if the sticky perp is still in the house.

While Roger is being Santa, Lee makes a crack about Roger’s heart and then cozies up to Roger’s wife which of course Roger  has to just take because the client is always right. Santa gives Lee a Polaroid camera. “Reminds me of when I was a kid. Remember that? You asked for something and you get it and it made you happy?” Everyone claps. Don wishes Peggy a “Merry Christmas, sweetheart” and the blond research woman watches this exchange.

Then blond research woman enters Don’s office as he’s leaving. She wants to give Don a tough time about walking out on her presentation. He’s disappointed thinking she came in to flirt, not to fight. She tells him she’s done all sorts of research on him and she’s impressed with his work and was hoping  he’d be impressed with hers. He says it’s not personal. “Look we’re both in the same business and I’m not embarrassed to say it’s about helping people to somehow sort out their deepest conflict which in a nutshell is about “what I want versus what is expected of me.” Don asks her to dinner and she says no and tells him  he’ll be married again in a year. “What?!” he asks. She says she forgets that no one wants to think they’re a type.

Then everyone sits on Roger’s lap while Lee takes photos.

Then Don goes home and tries to get into his apartment but he doesn’t have his keys. He knocks on Phoebe’s door but she isn’t there because she’s hanging out with the Mercy West crew. Don phones his office and his secretary finds them. She brings them over and helps him into his apartment offering him aspirin which he takes and food which he doesn’t. He pulls her onto his lap because even totally drunk he’s still a roue and she at first says “don’t” but then seemingly changes her mind, slipping off her shoes as only a woman of ill repute would do.

Post romp, Don’s secretary says she should go because she’s supposed to meet somebody. He asks if she’s sure she should go. She has a big smile on her face as if someone just told her the biggest secret ever and that secret happened to be that Don had feelings for her. At least, that’s how it seemed to me, though she never indicated this explicitly.

Then Peggy and Freddy make up. She admits that she does want to get married. Freddy says she needs to work less and find someone. She says she has a boyfriend who won’t leave her alone and he says he was insatiable with Violet and then offers his two cents, when she says she doesn’t want to be alone on New Year’s, which is that if she wants to marry this guy she can’t sleep with him because he won’t respect her. She asks what if she isn’t sure. He says she can’t lead him on because that’s physicially very uncomfortable.

Don arrives and sees his secretary, the one he hooked up with the night before. He and Roger make some jokes about the party. Don beckons his secretary into his office which is filled with gifts for her kids courtesy of the secretary. Don struggles with what to say to her. He thanks him for bring him his keys and says he’s probably taken advantage of her kindness on too many occasions. She seems displeased to hear this and is steeling herself. Don gives her a Christmas card with the bonus in it. “Thanks you” she mumbles, looking like her cat was just run over. She opens it. It’s a generic card with two fifties in it which may or may not have been a whore’s pay in  those days. She puts a piece of paper in the typewriter and begins typing something while staring off into space. Perhaps a resignation letter? Probably not actually.

Then we see Peggy and her boyfriend in bed and he’s asking her if she feels differently, thinking he just took her virginity which, I mean, come on, didn’t he watch last season? Apparently not.

The last scene is Don juggling the presents and walking out of the office. Unfortunately my DVR cut off the scenes from next week’s episode so I  have no idea if we’re to be saddled with Reed for the rest of the season.