Ok don’t cry you guys, but it’s looking like I won’t be doing an ARIYNBF show tonight because I have to be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow. Did you know I grew up with a father who always pronounced it “crap of dawn?” Not because he didn’t know the correct idiom but because he thought it was funny to say crap? I did. This is the same man who would bait his children into saying the word “tank” (as in fish tank) so he could quickly say “you’re welcome.”
But anyway, back to how I’m breaking your hearts tonight: I’m sorry my dears! It’s quite possible I’ll go live at some point but it will just be me and my overwhelming charisma, not me and my overwhelmingly charismatic friends. All this, of course, is also because I’m changing the show time to Sunday. Could you be more excited? I really don’t think so.
In other news, yesterday was a busy day and in the audition I was actually asked to discuss something I’m passionate about which, if you’ve been watching my show or listening to me ramble on lately you’ll know is something on my mind. I’m pretty sure the guy operating the camera appreciated the chance to listen to me pontificate about not only my passion but about the very question and what it means and blah blah blah. You might think I’m using “blah blah blah” as a space holder to indicate that I was longwinded but I actually said “blah blah blah.” Not really, but wouldn’t that be funny/horrible if I did?
Which all brings me to some dating advice Dustin gave me recently. He told me I needed to stop externalizing my interior monologue because guys hear me discuss all the stuff going through my head and attempt to parse it or find some meaning in it related to them when really it doesn’t mean anything, it’s just me thinking out loud and grappling with my colossal intellect. (I added that last part.) The deep irony for someone who over-analyzes like me is the idea that someone could talk and talk and talk and it would mean nothing which means all those attempts at over-analysis are futile. Perhaps I’m the exception that proves the rule. Or I’m a hypocrit. Oh no, I’m doing it again. And by the way, if you feel lost and like you weren’t able to follow the last few twists and turns don’t worry, I pretty much have no idea what I’m talking about either.
But on to more pressing matters: showering. Since I have to be up at the aforementioned dawn crap tomorrow I’m thinking I’ll shower tonight however I’m sitting here feeling like I also want to shower right now. A morning AND night shower in one day? That’s sheer madness.
Oh, also! I’ve been given clearance to post some portions of essays I’ve been working on. They’re long so I think I’m going to post them in chunks at the same time each day. It will be like a serialized soap opera, only not a soap opera. You know?
Just say yes, it’s easier that way.
Also, it might be 412 degrees in this apartment.
Also, if you’ve ordered a tshirt and you’ve been chewing at your pen caps wondering where it is, good news: the mailers I was waiting on arrived so I’ll be putting the tshirts in the mail ASAP.
Holy MOLY! Alison, are you saying that stuff you tell us about dating…. you say the same type of stuff to the guys you date?!?! Oh mah gawd Becky! Do you also tell them the Salad Shooter joke? Oh, wait! The Salad Shooter joke would be great as part of your first date conversation with a guy. Telling the guy your different “off-the-cuff” opinions about dating sounds like a good way to make our dates want to either run for the door, or try to “fix” you (and I do mean fix you so that you can’t have babies in the future).
That makes me wonder… what is a date with Alison Rosen like?!?! I’d guess that you would be less performance artsy fartsy that you are when you are on your ARIYNBF show with your fans and guests, and perhaps a little more shy… a little more demure…. a little more gassy?
OK, one quick thought about Dustin’s comment and your interior monologue:
I think Dustin has a point. (It’s not necessarily a BAD thing, though.) I think, if anything, you might intimidate a lot of guys, just because of (and I’m not sucking up here) how fast your brain works and how quick and sharp you are. A lot of guys might have a hard time keeping up. It’s definitely not a bad thing. 🙂 I know *I* find you unbelievably entertaining, and funny, and witty, and refreshing. Am sure just about everyone who’s read this blog post feels the same way about you. Remember that line in Something’s Gotta Give, when Jack Nicholson was talking to Diane Keaton … I think he was telling her why he liked her or something (I don’t remember). He called her formidable (or maybe it was some other word that’s synonymous with formidable). If you’re having a hard time meeting somebody, the problem is probably just that you haven’t met anyone formidable yet. (Dustin seems formidable!)
Anyway, bottom line, it’s not a bad thing. Just something that helps to make you uniquely you.
Just my $.02.
Rich
I befriended twin brothers when I was 16. We got along great. I would tell them things, be funny, say things to people they didn’t feel comfortable saying because I’m outspoken, and I never have feared conflict. This was all fine a good until I wanted their opinion. I actually had to ask them for their opinion and they still wouldn’t give me it to me.
I was sure they had one, but no matter how much pressure, and I can exert some pressure, they wouldn’t budge. I started thinking about what kind of existence would it be to live your life with out expressing your thoughts. Then it dawned on me. Their Dad, a great guy, was a very strong personality. He had worked his way up at Exxon starting out as an oil rig rough neck, and eventually became a drilling superintendent. He and I got along fine, well after he quizzed his boys about the long haired guy that drove the loud fast NOVA. He was afraid we were smoking the reefer. I could see that my twin friends wouldn’t express an opinion because their Dad, directly or indirectly, wouldn’t let them. He had taught them not to.
So with all due respect to Dustin (and I know he is trying to be helpful) it sounds to me that he is telling you to shut up and look pretty. Will this work? Sure it will but how happy are you going to be not being yourself? As I started formulating this reply I considered your situation and my situation as a young man. I often wondered why I didn’t have very many girls interested in me. Everything seemed to be fine until I had more than a casual conversation with them. Well as it turns out as depressed as I used to get about it, I just hadn’t met the right person yet. When I eventually did, and I was 31 years old, it was the easiest relationship I had ever had and continues to this day. We go together like peas and carrots, milk and cookies, or BP and ecological disaster.
Which brings me to the apology part. My strong personality and lack of acceptable social skills tells me to express myself to anyone that will stand still long enough to listen to, or read it. I’ve been reading your writings, watching you discuss your personal life and thoughts for several months now. I feel that I know you well enough to talk to you about these things, you know like a friend. Of course this is a one sided friendship because you really have no idea who I am. Hell as far as you know I’m typing this from a metal institution. So my apologies for being invasive into your life. It doesn’t change my prior thoughts, it’s just a disclaimer that I use to make myself feel better for being the way I am.
Normally I would just delete this rant after writing it, but I’m going to leave it this time. I’ll let you delete it.
Good luck with your dating, and I hope you never change! I hope you find the right person for you.
BTW my wife is a very nice beautiful woman. Shortly after we were married she looked me in the eyes one day and said “Well you’ve gotten to know me well enough now, can we have a baby?” She actually thought there was something wrong with her so she had to ask me if I liked her well enough to have children with her! I think she has the same problem I do she expresses herself. If she didn’t the relationship would have been a short one and I certainly would have never married her. It’s her complexity that I enjoy.
What was my answer to my wife’s question? “Sure, can we start now?!?!?”
The reason women can never meet a decent man is that they’re not willing to date my womanizing ass.
Silent tweet.
Holy MOLY! Alison, are you saying that stuff you tell us about dating…. you say the same type of stuff to the guys you date?!?! Oh mah gawd Becky! Do you also tell them the Salad Shooter joke? Oh, wait! The Salad Shooter joke would be great as part of your first date conversation with a guy. Telling the guy your different “off-the-cuff” opinions about dating sounds like a good way to make our dates want to either run for the door, or try to “fix” you (and I do mean fix you so that you can't have babies in the future).
That makes me wonder… what is a date with Alison Rosen like?!?! I'd guess that you would be less performance artsy fartsy that you are when you are on your ARIYNBF show with your fans and guests, and perhaps a little more shy… a little more demure…. a little more gassy?
OK, one quick thought about Dustin's comment and your interior monologue:
I think Dustin has a point. (It's not necessarily a BAD thing, though.) I think, if anything, you might intimidate a lot of guys, just because of (and I'm not sucking up here) how fast your brain works and how quick and sharp you are. A lot of guys might have a hard time keeping up. It's definitely not a bad thing. 🙂 I know *I* find you unbelievably entertaining, and funny, and witty, and refreshing. Am sure just about everyone who's read this blog post feels the same way about you. Remember that line in Something's Gotta Give, when Jack Nicholson was talking to Diane Keaton … I think he was telling her why he liked her or something (I don't remember). He called her formidable (or maybe it was some other word that's synonymous with formidable). If you're having a hard time meeting somebody, the problem is probably just that you haven't met anyone formidable yet. (Dustin seems formidable!)
Anyway, bottom line, it's not a bad thing. Just something that helps to make you uniquely you.
Just my $.02.
Rich
I befriended twin brothers when I was 16. We got along great. I would tell them things, be funny, say things to people they didn't feel comfortable saying because I'm outspoken, and I never have feared conflict. This was all fine a good until I wanted their opinion. I actually had to ask them for their opinion and they still wouldn't give me it to me.
I was sure they had one, but no matter how much pressure, and I can exert some pressure, they wouldn't budge. I started thinking about what kind of existence would it be to live your life with out expressing your thoughts. Then it dawned on me. Their Dad, a great guy, was a very strong personality. He had worked his way up at Exxon starting out as an oil rig rough neck, and eventually became a drilling superintendent. He and I got along fine, well after he quizzed his boys about the long haired guy that drove the loud fast NOVA. He was afraid we were smoking the reefer. I could see that my twin friends wouldn't express an opinion because their Dad, directly or indirectly, wouldn't let them. He had taught them not to.
So with all due respect to Dustin (and I know he is trying to be helpful) it sounds to me that he is telling you to shut up and look pretty. Will this work? Sure it will but how happy are you going to be not being yourself? As I started formulating this reply I considered your situation and my situation as a young man. I often wondered why I didn't have very many girls interested in me. Everything seemed to be fine until I had more than a casual conversation with them. Well as it turns out as depressed as I used to get about it, I just hadn't met the right person yet. When I eventually did, and I was 31 years old, it was the easiest relationship I had ever had and continues to this day. We go together like peas and carrots, milk and cookies, or BP and ecological disaster.
Which brings me to the apology part. My strong personality and lack of acceptable social skills tells me to express myself to anyone that will stand still long enough to listen to, or read it. I've been reading your writings, watching you discuss your personal life and thoughts for several months now. I feel that I know you well enough to talk to you about these things, you know like a friend. Of course this is a one sided friendship because you really have no idea who I am. Hell as far as you know I'm typing this from a metal institution. So my apologies for being invasive into your life. It doesn't change my prior thoughts, it's just a disclaimer that I use to make myself feel better for being the way I am.
Normally I would just delete this rant after writing it, but I'm going to leave it this time. I'll let you delete it.
Good luck with your dating, and I hope you never change! I hope you find the right person for you.
BTW my wife is a very nice beautiful woman. Shortly after we were married she looked me in the eyes one day and said “Well you've gotten to know me well enough now, can we have a baby?” She actually thought there was something wrong with her so she had to ask me if I liked her well enough to have children with her! I think she has the same problem I do she expresses herself. If she didn't the relationship would have been a short one and I certainly would have never married her. It's her complexity that I enjoy.
What was my answer to my wife's question? “Sure, can we start now?!?!?”
The reason women can never meet a decent man is that they're not willing to date my womanizing ass.
Silent tweet.
Alison, I agree with Richard. I think most guys are probably intimidated by you or it could be like when a guy likes you but assumes because you’re pretty and smart that you’re already taken or your schedule is filled with so many things because you’re so popular. I remember in high school, someone I knew (popular, cheerleader, beauty queen) never had a date. Everyone assumed she was completely unavailable so the guys wouldn’t even try. Anyway, I’m sort of glad you didn’t have your show last night. I was consumed with figuring out my new Droid (awesome!)
Alison, I agree with Richard. I think most guys are probably intimidated by you or it could be like when a guy likes you but assumes because you're pretty and smart that you're already taken or your schedule is filled with so many things because you're so popular. I remember in high school, someone I knew (popular, cheerleader, beauty queen) never had a date. Everyone assumed she was completely unavailable so the guys wouldn't even try. Anyway, I'm sort of glad you didn't have your show last night. I was consumed with figuring out my new Droid (awesome!)