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Wintry mix

It’s officially that time of year. That time when weather turns wet and gloomy and I put rollers in my artificially straightened hair (for volume, duh!) even though it doesn’t do a damned thing. Okay, actually that happens year round, but moreso when it’s cold. It’s also the time of year when jeans wick moisture from the ground which is great exercise because the denim becomes very heavy and so pretty soon you’re walking around with weights on your legs. The downside is that you’ll sink like a stone should you happen to fall in any body of water or end up in a pair of concrete shoes in the Hudson. Concrete shoes, it should be noted, also function as excellent free weights for toning your glutes and your triangles. One time I wore concrete shoes during a sprint on the beach and by the end I could have sworn I had the body of a 22 year old… trapped in the tangle of kelp I was dragging around along with some tin cans and a desert boot. You never know what (or whom!!!!!!!!)  you’ll find at the beach!

But back to this weather, it’s also the time of year when weather people give you their forecast, which I’m pretty sure they make up (no offense to meteorogolists! Some of my best friends are umbrellas!) and they will employ the term “wintry mix” to describe a blend of slush, rain, wind, snow, carob chips and sometimes yogurt chips or dried cranberries. By the by, I’m not using the word craisin because I decided one second ago that I didn’t feel like it. I’m fickle.

Onward! The word fickle makes me think of pickle which reminds me that last night my friend and I had a long talk about our hopes and dreams and then an even longer talk about foods and flavors we like or don’t like. It also veered into smells. To be fair, we didn’t talk about our hopes and dreams. I don’t like the smell of distilled vinegar, for example. She doesn’t like the smell of Rosemary. I don’t like the smell of Edith. I don’t like octopus, but not because I’ve tried it and made an informed decision, more like because there is a part of me that’s five years old and thinks it’s grody. Also grody? A fair amount of innards and entrails including but not limited to brains, testicles and insects. I guess I’m not that unusual really. But when I was in preschool I ate gizzard and I think I even liked it. I suspect I’ve already written about that here. Is it ringing a bell? For “nutrition” which is what they called “recess” different parents would bring in a snack and it was usually kid friendly fare and if you ate all of it you were in the “clean plate club.” This was back in the 1820s before everyone was worried about obesity. Clean plate club = Precocious fat ass club. Anyhoozers, someone brought in gizzard and I ate it and was praised for being in the clean plate club and to this day I wonder why someone’s parents brought in gizzard for a bunch of preschoolers. You know? Did I mention it was human gizzard? It wasn’t because humans don’t have gizzards, and also the preschool was staunchly anti-cannibal (this was conservative Orange County in the 1820s after all) but just wondering if I’d mentioned it.

I guess that’s all I have to say. What foods or flavors (or smells) do you guys like or dislike?

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15 Responses to Wintry mix

  1. Jefferson December 5, 2009 at 5:05 pm #

    I'm disappointed. When you mentioned coughing up this blog, I was anticipating anecdotes about hairballs. I suppose that's more of a summertry mix.

  2. Thomas Wigington December 5, 2009 at 7:26 pm #

    I'll try this again, since DISQUS doesn't like me.
    I like lizard gizzard.

  3. Jefferson December 5, 2009 at 5:05 pm #

    I’m disappointed. When you mentioned coughing up this blog, I was anticipating anecdotes about hairballs. I suppose that’s more of a summertry mix.

  4. Thomas Wigington December 5, 2009 at 7:26 pm #

    I’ll try this again, since DISQUS doesn’t like me.
    I like lizard gizzard.

  5. Joe December 6, 2009 at 3:36 am #

    Hey, it's Joe. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that and just have it as a number on the voicemail. Just have it as your telephone number. That's it. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.

  6. Joe December 6, 2009 at 4:12 am #

    I forgot I was going to comment about jeans wicking up moisture from the ground…

    It's even worse in the winter when you walk through a lot of snow and you end up with dozens of little chunks of ice clinging to your pants. You can't shake them off because they're frozen to the fabric. All you can do is hang them up and let the ice slowly melt.

    One smell that really affects me is the smell of buring leaves. When I was growing up we had a lot of leaves in our yard every fall and we would rake them up into a big pile and burn them. These days I believe burning leaves is outlawed in most places, but every once in a while I'll get a whiff of leaves burning somewhere and it will instantly bring back all those memories.

  7. Joe December 6, 2009 at 3:36 am #

    Hey, it’s Joe. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that and just have it as a number on the voicemail. Just have it as your telephone number. That’s it. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.

  8. Joe December 6, 2009 at 4:12 am #

    I forgot I was going to comment about jeans wicking up moisture from the ground…

    It’s even worse in the winter when you walk through a lot of snow and you end up with dozens of little chunks of ice clinging to the bottom of your pants legs. You can’t shake them off because they’re frozen to the fabric. All you can do is hang them up and let the ice slowly melt.

    One smell that really affects me is the smell of buring leaves. When I was growing up we had a lot of leaves in our yard every fall and we would rake them up into a big pile and burn them. These days I believe burning leaves is outlawed in most places, but every once in a while I’ll get a whiff of leaves burning somewhere and it will instantly bring back all those memories.

  9. Britt Justice December 6, 2009 at 8:19 am #

    I’ll reply in Rodgers and Hammerstein format so we can all get into the holiday spirit!

    Bad smells Miss Rosen? Well, urine from kittens
    Sweaty-palm B.O. in warm woolen mittens
    Dog farts from rawhide chews, a dog’s ass expels
    These are a few of my least-favorite smells…

  10. anonymous December 6, 2009 at 5:11 pm #

    “You say you ate gizzard, but I say I once ate Cambodian fried spiders , Madagascar hissing cockroaches , and Cherry flavored poptarts. Can you beat that ?”

  11. Ted_Goodlove December 6, 2009 at 10:19 pm #

    I love the scent of a beautiful woman…oh and new cars smell cool too!

  12. Ted_Goodlove December 6, 2009 at 10:19 pm #

    I love the scent of a beautiful woman…oh and new cars smell cool too!

  13. TrappDog December 7, 2009 at 11:35 am #

    Eating is a joy of life that shouldn't be ruined. How about getting kids to move their fat butts around a little more instead? In my day, no one really got fat until we started driving a car.

    I have one rule about food: If you can't chew through it, don't eat it.

    I like the smells of spring and fall, and the ocean, if it's not too fishy. I love the sights, smells, and sounds of Christmas. I don't like the smell of clothes that have been left in the washing machine too long. And I'm not a big fan of perfumes or colognes anymore. At the end of the day, I want them off me! At 45, I'm so old and grouchy!

  14. TrappDog December 7, 2009 at 11:35 am #

    Eating is a joy of life that shouldn’t be ruined. How about getting kids to move their fat butts around a little more instead? In my day, no one really got fat until we started driving a car.

    I have one rule about food: If you can’t chew through it, don’t eat it.

    I like the smells of spring and fall, and the ocean, if it’s not too fishy. I love the sights, smells, and sounds of Christmas. I don’t like the smell of clothes that have been left in the washing machine too long. And I’m not a big fan of perfumes or colognes anymore. At the end of the day, I want them off me! At 45, I’m so old and grouchy!

  15. TrappDog December 7, 2009 at 7:35 pm #

    Eating is a joy of life that shouldn't be ruined. How about getting kids to move their fat butts around a little more instead? In my day, no one really got fat until we started driving a car.

    I have one rule about food: If you can't chew through it, don't eat it.

    I like the smells of spring and fall, and the ocean, if it's not too fishy. I love the sights, smells, and sounds of Christmas. I don't like the smell of clothes that have been left in the washing machine too long. And I'm not a big fan of perfumes or colognes anymore. At the end of the day, I want them off me! At 45, I'm so old and grouchy!

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