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The paper that dare not speak its name

Okay I have an important question: What kind of toilet paper do you guys use? Because I keep buying Cottonelle which then breaks apart in my hand and if I wanted a fistful of my own ass I would just forgo toilet paper altogether. Then again, I’m very averse to something like Charmin Ultra Strong because once I bought it accidentally and it’s like a scouring pad for your butt. It’s like a butt buff puff. An ass loofah. I realize I’m likely alienating many of you by even talking about this. It’s for a friend. A friend who occasionally  uses the bathroom. I myself merely go in there to do my hair which always looks great anyway.

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31 Responses to The paper that dare not speak its name

  1. Dennis September 26, 2009 at 8:22 am #

    Scotts, can't use any other, I can't believe I actually tok the time to answer your question.

  2. Stefan_MK1 September 26, 2009 at 8:54 am #

    I've always wanted one of those Japanese toilet thingies that massage the tush and wash it afterwards. But in regards to the question, I buy the one with the puppy. http://www.kleenexpuppy.com.au/

  3. Kurtis Marsh September 26, 2009 at 8:56 am #

    Cottonelle is one of the worse, I am a Scott man myself. Charmin is for sissys

  4. Dennis September 26, 2009 at 7:22 am #

    Scotts, can’t use any other, I can’t believe I actually tok the time to answer your question.

  5. Stefan_MK1 September 26, 2009 at 7:54 am #

    I’ve always wanted one of those Japanese toilet thingies that massage the tush and wash it afterwards. But in regards to the question, I buy the one with the puppy. http://www.kleenexpuppy.com.au/

  6. Kurtis Marsh September 26, 2009 at 7:56 am #

    Cottonelle is one of the worse, I am a Scott man myself. Charmin is for sissys

  7. Andrew Cardona September 26, 2009 at 11:12 am #

    I use angel soft

  8. Darlena September 26, 2009 at 11:34 am #

    Charmin ULTRA-STRONG….sounds like that might work good for you.

  9. vronsfan2005 September 26, 2009 at 10:12 am #

    I use angel soft

  10. The Canadian Sensation September 26, 2009 at 1:22 pm #

    I'm surprised you're writing about this. Or you can just layer it a couple times to make it thicker?

  11. Darlena September 26, 2009 at 10:34 am #

    Charmin ULTRA-STRONG….sounds like that might work good for you.

  12. boinkity September 26, 2009 at 2:09 pm #

    After years of being unhappy with pretty much every toilet paper I've ever purchased, I decided that I should look into getting a bidet. Well, those things are outrageously expensive. So… now I use a Waterpik and a soft wash cloth.

  13. eigafan September 26, 2009 at 2:31 pm #

    Scott 1000!

  14. The PTDemo September 26, 2009 at 12:22 pm #

    I’m surprised you’re writing about this. Or you can just layer it a couple times to make it thicker?

  15. boinkity September 26, 2009 at 1:09 pm #

    After years of being unhappy with pretty much every toilet paper I’ve ever purchased, I decided that I should look into getting a bidet. Well, those things are outrageously expensive. So… now I use a Waterpik and a soft wash cloth.

  16. eigafan September 26, 2009 at 1:31 pm #

    Scott 1000!

  17. BrettJones September 26, 2009 at 5:04 pm #

    Is that like a fist full of dollars?

    If you're wearing through the paper, I think maybe your putting to much effort into the act.

    Also I'm with Stefan_MK1, I totally want one of those Japanese robot toilets.

  18. BrettJones September 26, 2009 at 4:04 pm #

    Is that like a fist full of dollars?

    If you’re wearing through the paper, I think maybe your putting to much effort into the act.

    Also I’m with Stefan_MK1, I totally want one of those Japanese robot toilets.

  19. JimK September 26, 2009 at 8:00 pm #

    Northern quilted. ONLY. My ass is a temple, and it should be lightly buffed with quilting. Do you buff temples? Should I have picked a better metaphor? My ass is like an golden statue. There. That's better.

  20. JimK September 26, 2009 at 7:00 pm #

    Northern quilted. ONLY. My ass is a temple, and it should be lightly buffed with quilting. Do you buff temples? Should I have picked a better metaphor? My ass is like an golden statue. There. That’s better.

  21. Anonymous September 26, 2009 at 11:18 pm #

    “Ha ha ha good one ALison, everybody knows you don't sh*t.That's how perfect you really are…..”

  22. Anonymous September 26, 2009 at 10:18 pm #

    “Ha ha ha good one ALison, everybody knows you don’t sh*t.That’s how perfect you really are…..”

  23. Mikey September 27, 2009 at 6:49 am #

    I feel alienated. You're not dragging me into a discussion on TP. This is even lower than fart humor.
    Why don't we discuss tampons & panty liners & sanitary napkins while were at it.

  24. mykey_moon September 27, 2009 at 5:49 am #

    I feel alienated.

  25. tinakubala September 28, 2009 at 4:06 pm #

    Scott is the way to go. They even have a softer style now. It is strong. Doesn't feel like wiping with a cotton ball. Plus, the roll lasts much longer than any other brand.

  26. tinakubala September 28, 2009 at 3:06 pm #

    Scott is the way to go. They even have a softer style now. It is strong. Doesn’t feel like wiping with a cotton ball. Plus, the roll lasts much longer than any other brand.

  27. Ted_Goodlove September 28, 2009 at 6:31 pm #

    Due to the economy, I've had to stop using toilet paper!

  28. Ted_Goodlove September 28, 2009 at 5:31 pm #

    Due to the economy, I’ve had to stop using toilet paper!

  29. Britt September 29, 2009 at 9:36 pm #

    Wasn't 'Fistful of My Own Ass” Eastwood's first spaghetti-porno?

  30. Britt September 29, 2009 at 8:36 pm #

    Wasn’t ‘Fistful of My Own Ass” Eastwood’s first spaghetti-porno?

  31. Britt September 30, 2009 at 4:36 am #

    Wasn't 'Fistful of My Own Ass” Eastwood's first spaghetti-porno?

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