DANGER!
Last night I decided to make myself a fancy frozen treat by putting a swirl of fat-free Reddiwip, which is only 5 calories a serving or, to more accurately reflect how one consumes it, 200 calories for a whole can, onto a spoon and then putting the spoon in the freezer. I made two of these ingenious frozen pops. “That will be a delightful treat when I get home later!” I told myself with no inkling of the disaster that awaited me.
“Ooh look! A fancy frozen treat! Yay for me!” I thought as I threw open the freezer door when I got home. Then I put a spoon in my mouth and before I had a chance to really realize what was happening my tongue adhered to the bottom of the spoon. I think some of my lip was attached too. It was all very Christmas Story. I should have poured water into my mouth which I think is how you detach from frozen metal however I now know that when you are stuck to something very cold your instinct is to pull away which is what I did. “Wow, that was horrible!” I thought, rethinking my snacking options since clearly I was going to be compromised in the taste department. I figured my tongue was just a little sore, probably from the coldness, but the pain wasn’t going away and actually was intensifying. Eventually I looked in the mirror and saw that my tongue was covered in a light smattering of blood.
This just proves something I already suspected: the only safe way to eat whipped cream is to squirt it directly from the can into your mouth.
please tell me you video taped this.
Not the tongue! That's your best feature! Please see a dermatologist stat.
You should take a nitrous hit during the next Daily Alison.
I bet the attorneys at ConAgra and ReddiWip are working to come up with a warning label like this: “Not to be consumed as a frozen treat on a metal eating utensil. May result in an “A Christmas Story” style of oral injury. Seek immediate medical attention.”
please tell me you video taped this.
Not the tongue! That’s your best feature! Please see a dermatologist stat.
You should take a nitrous hit during the next Daily Alison.
I bet the attorneys at ConAgra and ReddiWip are working to come up with a warning label like this: “Not to be consumed as a frozen treat on a metal eating utensil. May result in an “A Christmas Story” style of oral injury. Seek immediate medical attention.”
“ALison got Spooned by Reddi wip. ALso, I'm guessing they took out the “H” in whip so no one can make any annoying pronunciations …..”
“ALison got Spooned by Reddi wip. ALso, I’m guessing they took out the “H” in whip so no one can make any annoying pronunciations …..”
What a stroke of luck that your dad's in town to sew up your tongue! If you plan to set yourself on fire next, you should probably do it before he leaves.
Here's something a friend sent me. I don't usually pass these things along, but I got a chuckle out of it. And with Alison being a Brooklyn gal these days, it seemed appropriate.
The Brooklyn Wife
Three men married wives from different boroughs..
The first man married a woman from Staten Island . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from Queens . He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Brooklyn . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.
Wait, wouldn't it have been a better idea to scrape off the frozen whipped cream from the spoon and then eat it?
– The Notorious PTD
What a stroke of luck that your dad’s in town to sew up your tongue! If you plan to set yourself on fire next, you should probably do it before he leaves.
Here’s something a friend sent me. I don’t usually pass these things along, but I got a chuckle out of it. And with Alison being a Brooklyn gal these days, it seemed appropriate.
The Brooklyn Wife
Three men married wives from different boroughs..
The first man married a woman from Staten Island . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from Queens . He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.. The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Brooklyn . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.
Wait, wouldn’t it have been a better idea to scrape off the frozen whipped cream from the spoon and then eat it?
– The Notorious PTD
Honestly… I'm still trying to decide which is worse. You doing this, OR you admitting you did this in your blog. 😀
Honestly… I’m still trying to decide which is worse. You doing this, OR you admitting you did this in your blog. 😀
Honestly… I'm still trying to decide which is worse. You doing this, OR you admitting you did this in your blog. 😀