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I almost crawled to the bathroom

Mind if I share too much information? I didn’t think so.

So I woke up in the middle of the night sure of two things. 1) I needed to pee. 2) I needed to pee NOW. I wasn’t aware of the third thing, which was that my right leg was totally asleep until I attempted to use it and instead of moving forward, as often happens when you walk, I just sort of stayed in one place and all sorts of weird pins and needles shot around and it was so uncomfortable I couldn’t move. So then I stood there in the dark pinned to the ground but also pretty sure I was going to pee on my leg. I think I might have said “Oh no” a couple times. So then I did what I had to do–there was NO TIME to wait for my leg to wake up– which was basically drag my leg around the apartment hoping I’d make it to the bathroom in time, which I did, but I’m still giving my right leg the silent treatment this morning for not being there for me at such a crucial time.

UPDATE: My leg still feels funny. It just told two knock knock jokes, neither of which were hilarious but I laughed anyway. Sometimes it’s just easier, you know?

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13 Responses to I almost crawled to the bathroom

  1. Jonathan Miller August 29, 2009 at 8:14 am #

    Oh the fun of the body and timing.

  2. Jonfun August 29, 2009 at 7:14 am #

    Oh the fun of the body and timing.

  3. ecgladstone August 29, 2009 at 10:43 am #

    gee, no video?

  4. Kurtis Marsh August 29, 2009 at 7:45 am #

    I find the best way to cover that “funny feeling” in your leg , take a sharp knife, and slow run it along the inside of the leg that does NOT hurt, then it will feel so much better compared to the bleeding leg.

  5. ecgladstone August 29, 2009 at 9:43 am #

    gee, no video?

  6. boinkity August 29, 2009 at 2:00 pm #

    Did this really happen? I think it's really unusual for your body parts to fall asleep when you go to sleep. I think it's supposed to work the other way around. You sleep, body parts stay awake to watch out for the boogieman. When you are awake, then the body parts can doze off from time to time. You may want to get yourself checked out. Oh, and the whole peeing at night thing. Yep, you are getting older.

  7. boinkity August 29, 2009 at 1:00 pm #

    Did this really happen? I think it’s really unusual for your body parts to fall asleep when you go to sleep. I think it’s supposed to work the other way around. You sleep, body parts stay awake to watch out for the boogieman. When you are awake, then the body parts can doze off from time to time. You may want to get yourself checked out. Oh, and the whole peeing at night thing. Yep, you are getting older.

  8. Mike Rosen August 29, 2009 at 8:41 pm #

    My leg fell asleep for two hours the other day. And then it was awake all night,

  9. mykey_moon August 29, 2009 at 7:41 pm #

    My leg fell asleep for two hours the other day. And then it was awake all night,

  10. eigafan August 30, 2009 at 12:08 am #

    I hope you don't end up with spondylolisthesis like Greg Gutfeld.

  11. eigafan August 29, 2009 at 11:08 pm #

    I hope you don’t end up with spondylolisthesis like Greg Gutfeld.

  12. mikey_moon August 30, 2009 at 3:41 am #

    My leg fell asleep for two hours the other day. And then it was awake all night,

  13. eigafan August 30, 2009 at 7:08 am #

    I hope you don't end up with spondylolisthesis like Greg Gutfeld.

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