I don’t know if my IQ drops by about 20 points when I’m at my parent’s house in Orange County or if I’m just tired from all the lying around but I’ve been sitting in this chair staring straight ahead for a while now and I’ve yet to solve any of the world’s problems.
Problems I’ve yet to solve:
Why are ducklings so cute?
Why do I have a headache?
Why is everyone saying Entourage was so sucky? (I thought it was pretty good last night)
Why do I gain 45 pounds every time I come to CA?
How did I get to be so wonderful?
What’s up with that?
How’s it going?
Where do I come up with these things?
No really, where
Why did I first want to write that my IQ drops about 20 “degrees”?
Am I actually going to make the phone calls I need to make or just keep thinking that I need to make phone calls?
Should I wear a sombrero to the party I’m going to tonight because I’m not loving my hair right now?
Or should I paint a very small mural on my forehead to distract from the hair?
Should I get up from this chair?
If there was some kind of device that would push me out of this chair would it be a chair lift? But not the skiing kind of chair lift, just another chair lift? I could get behind that.
So you see, I’m getting a LOT of stuff accomplished over here.
In other news, I think I may have written two not-very-funny jokes last night. Although they’re obvious enough that I can’t believe I’m the first to think of them. Yet unfunny enough that I don’t think I’ve heard them before. Shall we?
Q: What did the drug dealer say to the junkie?
A: “You gotta get right back on the horse.”
Another one? Ok:
Q: Why was everyone mad at the junkie?
A: He kept talkin’ smack.
Get it? I don’t know why my jokes are heroin based, by the way. I didn’t even eat poppy seed muffins or anything!
I suppose I should take a shower since I have to be somewhere in many hours.
Ok then.
Also, I’m having that neither here nor there feeling I often get when I’m neither here nor there. Like, I could easily stay out here longer and that would be fun. And yet I know my life is in NYC and so I should go back. But it’s so easy here except for the way everyone’s always throwing avocados at you and trying to get you to have plastic surgery. “No more implants!” I yelled, as an avocado went whizzing past my new nose. It was scary and yet exhilarating. In New York they just throw metrocards at you. Also, before I came out here I was in a huge screaming rush and so I left my apartment in disarray. I’m not looking forward to going back to the way I left it although thankfully I filled the ground with a couple feet water, plugged the holes, and released a few Koi in there because I find tropical fish relaxing. I just hope my neighbor remembers to feed them through the window.
I think I can shed some light on some of these things:
<<Why are ducklinks so cute?>>
That’s easy. So that no human will eat them…
<<Why do I have a headache?>>
Did we bump our head?
<<Why everyone hated Entourage>>
Because people hate what they do not understand…?
<<Why do I gain 45 lbs in CA?>>
Is it 45 each and every time? If its some outside variable thereof then it might be the ol “sit + eat = lbs” or it’s a tumor that is California activated. One or the other.
<<Something about you being wonderful>>
You still have the headache right? Are you sure you didn’t maybe hit your head on something? Possibly this is when you saw the cute little ducklings?
<<Whats up with that?>>
With what?
<<How’s it going?>>
Fine, but you sound like you’ve hit your head hard and put on a little weight…
<<Where did you come up with these things?>>
See Hit Head from previous reply
<<No really, where>>
See last reply
<<Why did I first want to write that my IQ drops about 20 “degrees”?>>
See previous reply
<<Am I actually going to make the phone calls I need to make or just keep thinking that I need to make phone calls?>>
Fortune cookie say: outlook unclear – eat another cookie
(I think we found the 45lbs)
<<Should I wear a sombrero to the party I’m going to tonight because I’m not loving my hair right now?>>
Only if it is a black tie affair. Otherwise you’re never going to get the Mexican hat dance started.
<<Or should I paint a very small mural on my forehead to distract from the hair?>>
Something akin to the Sistine chapel. Lots of naked men on your forehead is sure to be a conversation starter…
<<Should I get up from this chair?>>
After you just hit your head not too long ago I wouldn’t suggest it.
<<If there was some kind of device that would push me out of this chair would it be a chair lift? But not the skiing kind of chair lift, just another chair lift? I could get behind that.>>
How do you get behind something that needs to be behind you to work? And they already have those, but you need to age about 40 years before I think you’re legally allowed to buy one.
<<So you see, I’m getting a LOT of stuff accomplished over here.>>
That’s what happens when you hit your head.
The Jokes were actually funny. Hold your head up high. Proclaim them loudly to multiple strangers on the street. They may have candy!
As far as the OC we’re not all that bad you know… You’re just hanging in south county… You should go “slumming” up in here in HB, Westminster, Garden Grove, etc… 😉 No plastic surgery, still some flying avocados though. Better food too.
I think I can shed some light on some of these things:
<>
That’s easy. So that no human will eat them…
<>
Did we bump our head?
<>
Because people hate what they do not understand…?
<>
Is it 45 each and every time? If its some outside variable thereof then it might be the ol “sit + eat = lbs” or it’s a tumor that is California activated. One or the other.
<>
You still have the headache right? Are you sure you didn’t maybe hit your head on something? Possibly this is when you saw the cute little ducklings?
<>
With what?
<>
Fine, but you sound like you’ve hit your head hard and put on a little weight…
<>
See Hit Head from previous reply
<>
See last reply
<>
See previous reply
<>
Fortune cookie say: outlook unclear – eat another cookie
(I think we found the 45lbs)
<>
Only if it is a black tie affair. Otherwise you’re never going to get the Mexican hat dance started.
<>
Something akin to the Sistine chapel. Lots of naked men on your forehead is sure to be a conversation starter…
<>
After you just hit your head not too long ago I wouldn’t suggest it.
<>
How do you get behind something that needs to be behind you to work? And they already have those, but you need to age about 40 years before I think you’re legally allowed to buy one.
<>
That’s what happens when you hit your head.
The Jokes were actually funny. Hold your head up high. Proclaim them loudly to multiple strangers on the street. They may have candy!
As far as the OC we’re not all that bad you know… You’re just hanging in south county… You should go “slumming” up in here in HB, Westminster, Garden Grove, etc… 😉 No plastic surgery, still some flying avocados though. Better food too.
When's the next stand up??? Don't worry about the apartment. We ransacked it in your absence. It's a good thing you bought that scuba gear. But we tidied up before leaving.
When’s the next stand up??? Don’t worry about the apartment. We ransacked it in your absence. It’s a good thing you bought that scuba gear. But we tidied up before leaving.
Why is everyone saying Entourage was so sucky?
The episode being heavy on “E”. No one likes that dude.
Weak acting, weak casting, weak story lines. No real chemistry with others. No believability in performance or story. Stories about E try to be serious, but, as a character, he can't build any drama or tension, he's always just a little whiny bitch. The whole idea of his arc makes me want to puke. He has no comedic talent at all.
Drama and Turtle are like the 3 stooges.
E would do great as the cool older brother of Hanna Montana.
If he was on 90210 in the first season, even David Silver would bitch-slap him.
Why is everyone saying Entourage was so sucky?
The episode being heavy on “E”. No one likes that dude.
Weak acting, weak casting, weak story lines. No real chemistry with others. No believability in performance or story. Stories about E try to be serious, but, as a character, he can’t build any drama or tension, he’s always just a little whiny bitch. The whole idea of his arc makes me want to puke. He has no comedic talent at all.
Drama and Turtle are like the 3 stooges.
E would do great as the cool older brother of Hanna Montana.
If he was on 90210 in the first season, even David Silver would bitch-slap him.
“Q: Why do chickens prefer heartwarming insults over harsh interrogations ?
A : Because they rather be roasted than grilled………”
When's the next stand up??? Don't worry about the apartment. We ransacked it in your absence. It's a good thing you bought that scuba gear. But we tidied up before leaving.
“Q: Why do chickens prefer heartwarming insults over harsh interrogations ?
A : Because they rather be roasted than grilled………”
Why is everyone saying Entourage was so sucky?
The episode being heavy on “E”. No one likes that dude.
Weak acting, weak casting, weak story lines. No real chemistry with others. No believability in performance or story. Stories about E try to be serious, but, as a character, he can't build any drama or tension, he's always just a little whiny bitch. The whole idea of his arc makes me want to puke. He has no comedic talent at all.
Drama and Turtle are like the 3 stooges.
E would do great as the cool older brother of Hanna Montana.
If he was on 90210 in the first season, even David Silver would bitch-slap him.
“Q: Why do chickens prefer heartwarming insults over harsh interrogations ?
A : Because they rather be roasted than grilled………”