Look you guys: a video! This is from a few weeks ago. Dustin and I went to a comedy show and then got dinner and then felt like we should be vlogging since it was Sunday (God’s vlog day) and so we turned on the camera. And then I just left this footage on my camera while I went on my merry way, being merry and patting gnomes on the head and sewing dresses out of curtains while little birds helped by holding up the excess of fabric and cutting the thread with their beaks. Perhaps you are wondering why there’s so much laughter at the beginning? That’s because Dustin was going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about something Important To Him and then I responded by talking about puppies which he took to mean I hadn’t been listening but au contraire, Dustin! Ye of little faith! And if you enjoy this, hang on to you your hat because there’s another one coming wherein I almost sneeze. Truly! Look for that in the next couple days (I’m being realistic about my un-awesomeness.)
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“I hope you get that ideal dog your in search of . Also I hope the dog you get can talk and act as a smart ass. A cross blend of a parrot, donkey, and a spaniel perhaps………….”
I don't think you should adopt a dog, Alison, I think you should adopt ME. That may sound a little crazy, but there are a lot of reasons why I'm a better choice than a puppy you might find in a store or kennel. Here are some of the more obvious reasons:
1. I'm almost fully house trained.
2. I've had almost all my shots (just need one more Syphillis booster).
3. I have a natural immunity against heartworms.
4. I'm already registered at PetCareRx.
5. I can drink water out of a bowl without making a mess.
6. I don't bite mailmen (mailwomen, maybe).
7. I won't hook up with just any bitch I find in an alley somewhere.
8. I only “mark my territory” when I'm outside.
9. I won't bring home any dead animals.
10. I already have a sign that says “Beware the Joe.”
I don’t think you should adopt a dog, Alison, I think you should adopt ME. That may sound a little crazy, but there are a lot of reasons why I’m a better choice than a puppy you might find in a store or kennel. Here are some of the more obvious reasons:
1. I’m almost fully house trained.
2. I’ve had almost all my shots (just need one more Syphillis booster).
3. I have a natural immunity against heartworms.
4. I’m already registered at PetCareRx.
5. I can drink water out of a bowl without making a mess.
6. I don’t bite mailmen (mailwomen, maybe).
7. I won’t hook up with just any bitch I find in an alley somewhere.
8. I only “mark my territory” when I’m outside.
9. I won’t bring home any dead animals.
10. I already have a sign that says “Beware of the Joe.”
You've been holding out. This is a fine vlog. Dustin's “You look fatter than your picture” is a five star joke.
You’ve been holding out. This is a fine vlog. Dustin’s “You look fatter than your picture” is a five star joke.
You've been holding out. This is a fine vlog. Dustin's “You look fatter than your picture” is a five star joke.