1. Wondering about the wisdom of posting videos where I’m clearly not looking or sounding my best. To what degree am I letting it all hang out? Hm. Anyway, to anyone wondering: I am okay!
2. It’s windy as hell out there!
3. Do everyone’s hands stop working when they’re cold or is this just some special situation I’m encountering? A lady’s gotta text, you know, and I may as well have had paws instead of lady hands earlier.
4. Which would be fitting as I’m pretty sure this was happening.
5. A friend of mine has a habit of sending elliptical text messages and I think I’m supposed to then ask questions to get the details of the cryptic text. Usually they are embedded in other texts. I should add that I care about this person and like him and mean no disrespect by saying all this so when he reads this, sorry, but it must be said! Anyway, here is an example and this is fictionalized:
“Have to do some work today. In other news: I think I like romantic picnics.”
Now, as a friend and curious person I feel like I’m supposed to be like “did you go on a picnic? picnics? no way! with whom did you picnic? hm????” And then it’s like, look at me! All nosy with my picnic questions. And yet if I just don’t acknowledge the picnic statement then it’s like I’m purposefully not engaging. So I think I found a solution and I’m very tempted to send the following:
“I hear you about the work! Unrelated: I think I like buttsex.”
Alas, I didn’t really send this because I don’t have the 400 texts it would take to untangle it in me. But it would be funny if I had!
I recommend a new rule for the Rosen household – no vlogging after 10pm. Especially on a school night.
Your hands not working is an early sign of Mesothelioma. Have you been breathing in large amounts of asbestos? Well STOP IT – or you’ll wind up on some cheesy TV commercial someday.
And the next time your friend sends an enigmatic text message, I suggest the direct approach. Text back, “WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???” Let him know your time is valuable and you’re not about to waste it trying to get into his head.
And then kick back and have a beer.
Windy? You whippersnappers don’t know windy. Currently outside my house in Lovely Hobbs, New Mexico (not to be cofused with Old Mexico) we have sustained winds of 25 mph with gusts up to 40mph. And its been this way ALL WEEK LONG. I hates the wind. Hates it more than a fat man hates diet pudding, and I should know about hating diet pudding.
Sheez… If the fictional is anywhere near the true version this is an obvious attempt to ask you if you like romantic picnics too…. and might he be able to ask you on one.
Of course, this is out of context could be he just wants your opinion and might want to ask someone else on a romantic picnic…. fictionally.
“Oh save me Demi Moore, I’m in great danger. I’m scared and alone. NO wait, you’re not Demi MOore. Sorry, wrong Person….:)”
“Unrelated: I think I like buttsex” is excellent! You could use that to follow any statement at all.
If it’s ok with you, I think I’d like to put that in my resume, just after personal interests.
“Someone played wii bowling tonight (hint: it was me)”
I love wii bowling!
No need to approve my last rant.
Better just to say… Alison Rosen is very pretty.
Wow I think I just emasculated myself… what an ugly thought.
My word was wighlyto which should prolly be a real word. Or at the least a newfangled dance sensation.
I’m back from Vegas!! I’m sorry I haven’t been commenting as much the past few days. It’s cuz I was in VEGAS or getting ready to go to VEGAS! Now I need to figure out why I had so much fun, but now my checking account only has $72 in it. 😮
Toddrod
I’m not going to wait for you to write something today…I’ll go ahead and post first today…
5 reasons I enjoy reading Alison on Mondays…
1. Mondays suck and Alison is Awesome
2. Work is boring and Alison is Awesome
3. Usually around noon, I’m so bored at work and Alison is Awesome
4. In the afternoon, I get bored with messing around with coworkers and prefer to mess with Joe (thanks Joe!)
5. After a long hard Monday at work, I enjoy listening to music and catching up on all the comments in the day…..did I mention that Alison is Awesome…probably not but it’s true!
I’m such a sucker for a good buttsex joke
I’ll say it again. If you wanna have your hands function better then you will need to eat flax oil, broccoli and some other vegetables every day – especially broccoli, like 2 crowns a day using a juicer or something like that.
And you will need to hit the gym once a week and press some heavy weights with your hands and feet.
Works wonders.