Another topic which came up in the comments:
I’m not on Red Eye tomorrow, though I’ll be appearing the following week. This kind of thing is just a scheduling thing and not at all what I was referring to when I said on Twitter earlier that I got kicked in the professional nuts. You know, smacked in the professional groin. Hit in the professional nads. Punched in the professional baby makers.
That last one was kind of gross.
What was I referring to?
A polite rejection form letter which made me feel like I’M SORRY, COME AGAIN? Are you sure this isn’t some kind of mistake?
Because, see, you know those writers who have writing rooms plastered with rejection letters? I’m not one of them. I don’t have a writing room for one and for two, everyone who reads my stuff loves it. I got into the college of my choice early admission. I’m a very successful and lovable person. Glass ceiling? I simply pushed on it and it opened. Love and relationships? They all go swimmingly. My hair? FRIZZ FREE. Once I cooked a three minute egg in two minutes. At some point the above diverged from reality but what I’m saying is I’ve been exceedingly lucky in the professional rejection department in that I haven’t experienced too much of it. I’m not going to say I haven’t experienced any, because of course I have especially in the last few years, ok also and when I first moved to New York, but for the most part I reserve rejection for people I’m dating.
So today’s rejection was swift and painful, and unexpected due to my own very generous opinion of my work.
That’s ok though, because it was just the fuck you I needed.
Aww…I’m sorry. But hey, it’s THEIR loss.
“Once I cooked a three minute egg in two minutes” – that’s diabolical!
Whoa, so of all the colleges out there that you could’ve gone to, Pomona College was your top choice? Interesting.
Duke was my top choice, but I rejected them.
That sucks, I was looking forward to watching you on RE. I had planned my whole Friday night around your appearance. Yale was my top choice, but I never applied so unlike you I avoided the rejection letter. Kansas and Kansas State both accepted me woo hoo but ended up with U of Maryland.
Yeah Alison…Fuck them!
I got my PhD from the streets…never made it past the 3rd grade…and I’m still smarter than all you bunions put together! Well, maybe not Joe…Joe knows how to capture video…Arghhhhhh
If it had been about Red-eye, I’d have figured that you were kidding.
That’s quite a comment, Ted…
But I definitely gotta go along with anyone who’ll put “Arghhhhhh” in their commentary.
Therefore, I agree with Ted.