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Things I Won't Be Doing On Superbowl Sunday

Yelling at a television set

Painting my face

Counting the layers in any sort of bean dip type situation

Claiming there are seven layers despite a fellow bean dip lover’s insistence that there are eight

Talking about what I was doing at exactly this time last year

Taking a cross-section of said dip and counting the layers

Wearing a jersey

Getting frustrated regarding bean dip kerfuffle and shooting friend in the face

With easy cheese!

Tossin’ the pigskin

Slappin’ the salami

Chokin’ the chicken

Wait, this is the wrong kind of list

Rooting for “my” team

Understanding how the game works

Shotgunning beers

Riding shotgun… on the couch!

Officiating at any sort of shotgun wedding

Doing any sort of special touchdown dance

Taking odds

Performing at half time

Wearing my lucky underwear

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0 Responses to Things I Won't Be Doing On Superbowl Sunday

  1. Christian January 29, 2009 at 11:06 pm #

    Do you actually have Lucky Underwear, or are you just bragging?

    I love football, but could care less about this game. If they had chosen 2 teams out of hat, it would be a better game.

  2. DarkKnight3565 January 29, 2009 at 11:07 pm #

    “THINGS I WANT TO BE DOING ON SUPERBOWL SUNDAY”

    1. Alison M Rosen
    2. umm….don’t think anything else need be added to this list.

  3. Ted from Accounting January 29, 2009 at 11:08 pm #

    But are you rooting for George St. Pierre or B.J. Penn on Saturday! I’ll be wearing my lucky underwear that GSP wins! Doubtful that I’ll be chokin the chicken or slapping the salami either!

  4. Colt V. Ables January 29, 2009 at 11:08 pm #

    Slappin’ the salami…

  5. W. Randall January 29, 2009 at 11:12 pm #

    Now come on, that’s just downright un-American. Everyone knows the grated cheese on top of the dip doesn’t count as a separate layer!

  6. Prototype January 29, 2009 at 11:16 pm #

    Whoa, whoa, whoa!

    So the question is…what WILL you be doing then?

  7. warrensheehan January 29, 2009 at 11:27 pm #

    i wont be whatching the lingerie bowl….so why bother watching at all…so i guess i wont be “slappin the salami” either.

  8. Toddrod January 29, 2009 at 11:37 pm #

    I am sad to say that I am extremely disappointed that Alison will not be wearing a football jersey during the Superbowl. I suppose it’s not her fault, but women who wear football jerseys are extremely sexy in my opinion.

    Do you think Anna will wear a jersey? I should go ask her!!

    Toddrod

  9. warrensheehan January 30, 2009 at 12:03 am #

    contemplating suicide while “polishing the bayonet”??

  10. timdub70 January 30, 2009 at 12:10 am #

    On Super Bowl Sunday I just sit home and watch the game. For the first time it will be in HDTV. I will make every effort to miss the halftime show, no matter which artist is doing it.

  11. EDinATL January 30, 2009 at 1:53 am #

    This was amusing, but I laughed at “actually understanding the game”

    I don’t get off on football at all either. I think I do politics and news with that part of my brain.

  12. Joe January 30, 2009 at 5:55 am #

    Girls in football jerseys? ALWAYS a hot look.

    Me: Who’s going to be the big winner on Superbowl Sunday?

    NFL Magic 8 Ball: Whoever’s dating Alison and Anna obviously.

  13. Toddrod January 30, 2009 at 6:34 am #

    Thanks for agreeing with me Joe. I always need a little support!

    Toddrod

  14. Kevin January 30, 2009 at 8:09 am #

    I’ll be having my own marathon of The Hills… because I’m manly like that.

  15. Ted from Accounting January 30, 2009 at 10:11 am #

    Yeah but it’s got to be the right football jersey! I think Alison would look best in a Raiders jersey…you know the whole dark hair thingy! Anna would be best in a..hmmmmm 49ers Jersey…possibly!?!!?!

  16. Toddrod January 30, 2009 at 12:52 pm #

    If Alison wore a Raiders jersey….. forget about it! I’d fall in love with her, and wouldn’t give her any crap about anything ever again! Not even about the sofa!

    Toddrod

  17. Paul M. Carhart January 30, 2009 at 4:17 pm #

    I noticed “experiencing a wardrobe malfunction” was NOT on that list.

  18. Steve Spagnuolo January 31, 2009 at 1:34 am #

    I’m the only guy here with a football resume and am not even the first one to answer this post. Amazing. ……

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