You know when you call someone and it rings four or five times and then it rings a sixth time and you think the ring is about to stop but then it redoubles its effort really rings like it means it and then goes to voicemail? What is that? Is that the ringer giving up? Or is that the ringer giving you attitude? Like “FINE! Have it your way! I’ll put you through to voice mail.”
This is not to be confused with the ring that lets you know you’re interrupting someone’s call: That weird high pitched tone at the end of each ring which makes you think maybe you should hang up because you know they’re on a call and they know you know.
Anyway, if I ever do stand up comedy again perhaps I’ll make the above funny. Has anyone done anything on phone rings? Am I ripping off Seinfeld? I’d really rather not be.
Wait, I have one more thing to say about rings and ring tones. I had to change all my phones to regular sounding ring tones and my alarm to a beeping sound because my brain is an evil sponge which grasps a few bars of melody and then replays them over and over and over and I couldn’t stand my personal soundtrack being “Calypso.” It was like I was trapped in a Girls Gone Wild commercial. I think maybe I already wrote about this? Well, it’s still true though.
The long ring is the receiver’s phone calling a voicemail system… a forwarding ring to the voicemail robot.
Knowing the truth about something is never as fun as not knowing, or simply making it up.
Examples:
1. First time I went to Canada I was blow away by the .75 cent per gallon gas, until I realized a “gallon” in Canada is only a liter.
2. Finding out the girl I thought was totally into me was just using me to get a job (I’m still bitter about this one, 15 years later).
3. That time I measured my manhood with a metric ruler. For a moment, I was very pleased with myself. The metric system has long been my nemesis.
Being a shut-in who avoids the telephone at all costs, I have no knowledge of these phone issues.
I just wanted to post and voice my outrage at the knock against Calypso music. Four words…..Sonny Rollins’ “St. Thomas”.