Readers, I’m about to do something rash. I’m going to a Laz-Y-Boy Furniture Gallery. In the same way that a soon-to-be married person might need one more night at a strip club, I need to see what’s out there one last time before I settle on the Crate and Barrel couch. See, even my language is troubling. Settle? Am I settling on the couch? Shouldn’t I wait to find the couch that’s going to sweep me off my feet and make me feel alive and inspire me to greatness? Is that couch even out there?
That’s why I need to sow my upholstery oats, even if my mind is already 99 percent made up.
I fear you have a future of second guessing, interspersed with regret and the occasional extrasofal affair.
You’ll find yourself out West at a party with friends, lonely, longing for a comfortable place to sit. From across the room you see it and it hits you like a lightening bolt. You walk over to it and it’s perfect. The style is exactly what you wanted. It’s new and beautiful and the color is perfect. Just as you give in to desire and sink your body into it’s soft cushions, the sofa you settled on back home realizes it misses you and wonders what your doing, and if you’re safe. It wants to call, but figures you’re busy. It was a business trip after all.