Now that I’ve been NY’s Funniest Reporter for a whole week, you are likely wondering how my life has changed. Well for one thing, I now sleep on a queen size whoopie cushion and whenever I knock at someone’s door, they say “who’s there??” expectantly and then seem kind of disappointed when it’s just me. I won’t get into the frenzy that results from my crossing the road and all the questions about my motivation in doing so. The laugh track that follows me around took a little time to get used to, especially since it seems to activate at the strangest times, like when I’m not even trying to be funny. Banana peels appear underfoot out of nowhere and all my sunglasses have fake noses attached to them. Similarly my hats have been replaced by arrows and last night I got sick and puked rubber vomit.
All you need now are really big clown shoes and a tiny car to drive around. And don’t you dare leave home without your joy buzzer! If you felt adventurous, you could go to one of those carnival booths at Coney Island and let little kids with water pistols try to fill you up so they could win a prize.
So tomorrow is Columbus Day and I can’t remember if there’s mail delivery. I don’t think there is. Which reminds me of an incident that happened the other day. Call it a slice of small town Americana…
I went to the post office Friday afternoon to buy some stamps. I was the only person there except for the postal employee behiind the counter. The transaction took 13 minutes. Here’s a breakdown of that time:
30 seconds: purchasing the stamps
12.5 minutes: listening to the postal employee tell me all the things she and her husband have to do to get ready for winter including replacing a sliding glass door and 2 windows but not the deck because it’s in pretty good shape and how the winters are so long and they never talk about work at home because they get into fights and then the kids are crazy….
You get the idea. I love small towns – except when I’m in a hurry.
You’re now in Wikipedia!
I’m back from a weekend trip to New Orleans. I’d tell you all about it, but this is Alison’s blog, and it’s not my place to talk about me. It’s all about Alison, Alison, ALISON!
Toddrod
Toddrod – I talk about myself here all the time and Alison has only kicked me off 6 times so far (I’m obviously joking, Alison is ultra-tolerant).
For example, as you all know I’m all about recycling. So you can imagine my excitement when I saw an article today in WikiHow about 38 ways to resuse your empty Altoids Tin!
Among the things I can’t wait to try:
* Make a guitar out of it
* Make a pintoid (pinhole) camera
* Make a crystal radio inside it
* Build a computer power supply tester
* Make a vibrobot using a recycled motor, a hanger, some wire and a bit of hot glue (sounds kinky!)
* Make your own MP3 player
* Create miniature works of art
* Turn it into a candle
* Make a survival kit
* Create a stomach ache kit
* Carry your business cards
* Create a time capsule
* Turn it into a personal postage assistant (i.e. carry stamps)
And my favorite…
* Make a pocket sized religious shrine. If you’re Buddhist, you can make a prayer wheel (they even have a 3 minute instructional video!)
Here’s the link: tinyurl.com/54nlyf
Now I’m going to read about how to turn a can of beets into an electron microscope.
That’s true Joe. So I went to New Orleans this weekend, and I had a fantastic time. I had planned to go to the football game between the Raiders and the Saints. However, the game was sold out, and I wasn’t interested in paying for scalped tix (especially with how dysfunctional the Raiders are these days). Bourbon Street is just a very fun place to people watch. My buddies and I found a bar, and parked ourselves on the balcony of some place called the Tropical Isle. Later in the evening, we found our way to the Krazy Korner nightclub to listen to live music. The band was really good, and the singer was beautiful and fantastic. Food was also unbelievably good. I recommend the Oceana Restaurant (get the bbq shrimp) and Sammy’s (rib eye steak) on Bourbon St. and Johnny’s for your Po Boy type sandwich (located on St Louis St near Decatur). I am still feeling kinda beat up from all the walking and drinking I did on this trip. I can’t wait till I can go back to this fun place.
Toddrod, I hear New Orleans is really great. Some of my friends went there for Mardi Gras one year and said it was wild. I hope to make it there one day.
They also said when Mardi Gras is finished, police cars go through the streets and literally announce over the loud speakers, “MARDI GRAS IS OVER. PLEASE GO HOME.” And they expect you to leave immediately. Then the large sanitation trucks come through to pick up the tons of trash and clean the streets.
Hi Alison,
We just discovered on Fox on (can’t remember the name of the show). You are too funny! Just wanted to say hi.
L8R…Posh from Deko and Posh Blog
Joe, that is true about how they close up Mardi Gras. I’ve seen it on video on a few different occassions. We should have a Mardi Gras party at Alison’s apartment, and then when she’s tired of us, she can push us out the door, saying, “the Mardi Gras party is over, go home!” Then her parents can help clean up her apartment (the party will be so much fun, that her parents will fly out to NY to attend).
Toddrod