More Easy Pickles

Yesterday I wrote about how I misread a shop sign and thought it said “Easy Pickles” which I then imagined making frequent reference to when discussing running errands however just now I realized a couple more uses for Easy Pickles.

1) As a response to “cool beans.”

Person number one: I just bought these new Guatemalan pants
Person number two: right on
Person number one: cool beans
Person number two: easy pickles

Now, perhaps that’s not quite fair because in the above example both person number two and number one are of near equal levels of irritating as evidenced by the immediate use of “right on.” Here’s another, perhaps more realistic scenario:

Person number one: I’m going to check my mail
Person number two: cool beans
Person number one: easy pickles

2) As a passive-aggressive way to make someone feel vaguely self-conscious, along the lines of “easy, tiger!” but less playful, more insidious

Person number one: I’m going to eat some Cheetos!
Person number two: Easy, pickles!

Person number one’s inner monologue: “What? Did he just called me Pickles? I don’t get it. Should I get it? That’s weird. Do I eat too many Cheetos? What does that have to do with pickles? Do I smell like dill?”

For maximum mindfuckery I’d recommend tossing a THERE into it like this:

Person number one: I’m going to play xbox
Person number two: Easy there, pickles!