I don’t actually eat the food at Starbucks—I don’t have 500 calories to spare on a giant orange cookie shaped like a daisy—however I’m always interested to see the calorie counts on all the items because it makes waiting in line less boring. (In NYC restaurants with more than 15 outlets have to post the numbers.) That said, does anyone else wonder about the accuracy of those counts? I trust the high ones, but tucked in between a thumbprint scone (310) and a maple walnut swirly cluster frittata with ham and peas (I made that up) is some kind of tart thing which is huge but claims to have 190 or 120 or something.
Okay, so this post would have been better if I could actually remember names or counts, but I’m just saying I don’t trust those shifty coffee mongers.
Quote of the calories:
—-Greg gutfelds’ Liver (100 cal)
Bill schultz’ hair (200 cals)
Sigourney Weavers hair (200 cals the same as bill)
Andy Levy’s eyeballs (1000 cals delicious)
Geraldo’s MOustach (0 cals yuck)
—-Hannibal Lector
Hahaha – I just found that Starbucks has their calorie counts online. Pretty nice page, actually. But at the bottom it has this disclaimer:
“Nutritional information is calculated based on Starbucks standardized recipes. Because beverages are handcrafted and may be customized, exact information may vary. Data is calculated using ESHA Research’s Genesis® R&D software, and rounded to meet FDA regulations. Data for vitamins and minerals refers to percentage of U.S. recommended daily intake values. For additional information, please contact a customer care representative at 1-800-23LATTE (1-800-235-2883).”
First of all, I’ve heard some bad things about ESHA Research’s Genesis® R&D software. Second, I’m tempted to contact a “customer care representative” and ask them if they really care, but I’d probably have to navigate 25 levels of automated messages and then be put on hold for 47 hours. Maybe tomorrow.
I found the best thing to do is to eat what you want, and then have a nice vigorous workout by attacking the next homeless person you see outside, you can easily work off 250-350 calories in a 20 minute session. Then all the lifting and dragging to the nearest dumpster works off another 100 or so.
It’s probable that large tart’s calories were on a per serving basis.
Chipotle has a range of calories. A chicken burrito has 350-900 calories or something hence we have the sliding scale guffawing (!) at the rules. Incidentally, what was Macdonalds thinking when they put up those billboards with an egg “dreaming” of becoming an egg mcmuffin. Every egg wants to be a shredded chicken portion in a Chipotle burrito silly Mickey D.