A weird thing happened to me at my local family-owned mom-and-pop coffeeshop, Starbucks. I ordered my usual drink, a skinny whipped mocha tazoberry blueberry chai fribble served in an ankle boot, and the guy who took my order asked my name. I told him. “I’m just going to tell them it’s for Alice,” he said. “Um, okay,” I responded because Alice is agreeable. “One grande iced coffee for Alice,” he yelled to a guy who was about four feet from him, making implausible the notion that perhaps wherever he was sending this drink order was so far away that the last syllable of my name would never survive the journey, falling off or somehow getting mangled on its little trip from idea to refreshing beverage. Maybe it would just sound like a touch tone. Like “iced grande for Alis#” So then my brain settled on the next logical explanation: he must have some kind of speech impediment which interferes with the word “son.” Obviously! But before I had a chance to test this theory by asking him a pointed question involving that very word, he handed me my receipt and said, “Here you go, Alison.” I never did find out but I bet it’s that someone in the drink making station had their heart broken by an Alison and thus the mere mention of that name—my name—is too painful. Or maybe in this heat three syllables is just pushing it?
Maybe the combination of the heat and your radiant beauty left him near breathless, simply unable to utter your full name. Then, by the time he turned around to hand you the drink he was over you. In his mind it was a June 10th 4:30:00 to June 10th 4:32:15 romance, the thing dreams are made of.
I guess if you can shorten their name to Starbs, they can shorten your name to Alice.
But you don’t look at all like an Alice to me. A Lois maybe, but not an Alice.
Wow – we’re getting a pretty good thunderstorm here now. I hope my internet connection doesn’rre’ fe^96(EOyefc….
I’ve read this one 3 or 4 times already, and I think I’m just confused. YOU are on TV!?! Aren’t you? Maybe he already knew your real name, and wouldn’t take your little games as an answer. Did I read this wrong? It’s not a big deal.
Toddrod
I wasn’t playing any games though! I mean, other than the game where I’m achingly beautiful and ordering a drink and he’s shortening my name for reasons I can’t understand. (I was just kidding about that first drink I mentioned though. I ordered just an iced coffee. I don’t even know what a fribble is. In fact, I only recently learned of the word from Andy and Diana. I told them it sounded perverted.)