At the gym again, toning my hexagons, perennials and robots and I really don’t feel like being here. I don’t want to feel the burn, I want to feel a snack and then a nap. So I’m going to do what I do when I am forcing myself to stay here: cry. Okay, now I’ll blog and I was thinking this might be a good time to answer all those questions FAQ style, except the formatting will likely be all messed up. Deal with it.
Do you really write those posts from the gym!
Yes.
Why are you always in the newsroom on Red Eye?
I get this one all the time and I’ve been in the studio, in both chairs at different times, however that was before I suffered a horrible accident and lost my left foot. In what can only be viewed as a horrible miscalculation on the part of the medical community and also the veterinary community, they grafted the foot of a duck onto what was left of my stump. Infection and deformity resulted, but I won the women’s freestyle and butterfly strokes in the olympic trials so it’s not without benefit.
Do you eat foie gras?
What am I, some kind of cannibal?
So then when people say “Is there a duck in here?” around you, is it actually a reference to your webbed foot!
Precisely!
When’s your band playing?
Never. Unless we reunite for a wedding of one of the members or a short west coast tour which I’m trying to beat the drum loudly for but likely won’t happen.
Beat the drum loudly? I thought you played guitar.
You’re awfully literal, you know that? I do or rather did play guitar, Amelia Bedelia, but since you ask, here is a fun fact: I was the drummer before we had one who was actually good.
Um, what else?
I don’t know, you’re the one asking the questions.
Right. Is your hair really black?
Yes. I used to lighten it actually.
Are you goth?
I prefer ‘realistic.’ I’m just kidding. I’m not goth, damnit, although I do remember that when I started working at the OC Weekly years ago someone told me that they thought I was just some ‘sullen intern.’ I promptly had them fired.
How long have you lived in New York?
Six years.
Where did you go to college?
Yeah, because I really get this one frequently! You are too much!
Thank you.
Pomona College. It’s a small liberal arts college in Claremont, California. It was also the facade of Eastland in the credits for Facts of Life, but that’s not why I went there, I swear.
Who’s your favorite Facts of Life girl?
Can’t choose, don’t make me.
Have you been listening to “Why Do You Let Me Stay Here” by She & Him on repeat for days?
Pretty much.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
I used to watch Facts of Life, but for the life of me, I don’t know why. As a boy, there was ChiPs and Facts of Life and Wonderwoman. Now, I’ll be totally honest, cuz as a boy, I thought it was realistic to fantasize about marrying Wonderwoman, and it was also realistic to imagine chasing bad guys on my Kawasaki CHP motorcycle (and my hair was exactly like Erik Estrada’s hair)and getting the hot blonde, rollerskating chicks at the end of the show. However, I never ever fantasized about going to an all girls school. No really! Stop laughing.
Toddrod
P.S. Ok, I lied. My hair wasn’t exactly like Erik Estrada’s.
Maybe you should add an FAQ section on your blog so people can go there the first time they visit. I suggest it go right after “View My Complete Profile”.
Not that you asked me or anything. I just like offering advice when I know it’s not wanted. That’s what makes me a unique human being. Is there anything else you don’t want advice about?
All seriousness aside, have a great time on Red Eye tonight!!
Qwack, Qwack! I always thought you were Goth! In an OC, upper scale, educated Goth kind of way!
Keep us updated on the Chelsea Lately stuff!
I wish your gym had a sauna.
Interesting that I read this entry when She & Him are performing on Craig Ferguson’s show. Zooey Deschanel is ridiculously cute. Good singing voice, too, it reminds me of a chick I met a few weeks ago named Laura Gibson that’s currently touring with Colin Meloy of The Decemberists. Nice FAQ, by the way.
She & Him is great! I like the part on “Why Do You Let Me Stay Here” when her vocal in the background goes “un-huh”. Luv her. I’ve been repeating “Change is Hard”. The quality of her voice makes almost any sentiment resonate with me…… Look forward to seeing you on the show.-Chris M.