A commenter made a comment about Chelsea Handler being potential BFF material for me, which of course would be awesome except she’s on the other coast, but then I started thinking that you know, it’s been a really long time since I’ve had a BFF! With my tendency to undermine, backstab, publicly humiliate, sleep around and steal cars, I have trouble being half of a girl-on-girl platonic friendship. But I could use a BFF! Ladies, do you think you have what it takes? Do you read my blog and think that we should be BFFs? Let me know. I think I still have some best friend necklaces around here somewhere.
Note: I don’t actually do any of that stuff although I did once steal a car.
Ladies read your blog! They just don’t make comments I think. (I could be wrong)
Toddrod
Well since you’re asking online, I’ve got to be your BOGF – Best Online Guy Friend. First person to say “change the ‘u’ to ‘a’ and you’d be right, LOLz” can fucking die! >:(
Quote of the BFF:
“Can I be your new best friend ?”
–Poptart Polly
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Alison – your BFF search would make a great reality show. Women across the country could submit videos explaning why they should be your BFF, which you would then narrow down to 5 finalists (alternately, you could have people vote online to select the finalists).
The 5 finalists would then be flown to NYC for a final BFF-Off. Each would spend a evening with you hitting all of New York’s hot spots, after which you select the winner (and an alternate in case the winner can’t fulfill their BFF duties.)
It could also be a series of magazine articles, describing your desperate search and going over all the traits that make someone a BFF. You could interview noted celebrities, relationship experts, and that creepy guy from eHarmony.
Can I be the executive producer?
I think it would be neat to have a woman’s perspective. I haven’t heard the term BFF in ages. That’s really, really, old school. Can’t hate on that.
Switching topics here for a minute or 54 of them. A word to the wise, or just to me really. No matter how long you have owned your birds and treat them like you would your own children, don’t ever think you can just go right up to em’ and pet their cute,little mo-hawks. Jack, or shall I say Jack-a**(appropriately named huh? ) bit a plug outta my finger. Now I have a band-aid and it’s not anyone’s fault but my own. I’m laughing about it actually. I like his personality. He’s not a “yes,” bird. True Story.
Michael.
La.
@) Party All the Time – Eddie Murphy.
#) Mouth for War – Pantera.
You stole a car!?!? Post that story!
Are you taking applications for BFFWB?
qUOTE OF THE miSTAKEN iDENTITY:
sORRY FOR THE BAD KEYBOARD ILLUSTRATION. pOPTART POLLY WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THIS…….
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—(Making this REMINDS ME OF THE GOOD OL’ DAYS I build LEGOS when I was still a virgin.The good ol’ days meaning yesterday and beyond ……)
well…as the apparent only woman who comments on your blog, I’d be happy to take the position by default…and by position I don’t mean anything sexual mind you, so, getcher mind outta the gutter young lady! (see, I can even sound as old as you when you yelled at those ‘whippersnappers’ the other day)
anyway, my qualifications are: I’m short and stumpy, therefore, standing next to me will make you appear tall and willowy; I’m not prettier than you; I have all my own teeth, plus a couple from a young man who got a little sassy with me, and, had to be taken down, by golly; I say by golly and dagnabit, instead of cussing, so that you can have the more colorful vocabulary.
In short, I am the Rhoda to your Mary.
thank you for your consideration