is that if I wake up and this hot headachey barfy feeling has turned into a flu I will be SO PISSED. But perhaps not as pissed as the people next to me on Friday’s flight to Idaho. Work sick? Oh yes I will. Someday allow me to regale you with stories of working a red carpet with the worst case of pink eye I’ve ever had. I even have pictures of it which a friend once saw and said, “Gross! You should get rid of those!” I don’t know why I keep them. As emergency boyfriend repellent. They seem to be working even as I speak! What am I saying? I’m not sure. See, I’m already delirious. Really though, both of my eyes puffed up and I felt like I’d been punched in both eyes. It was more pain than itching. I bent my head over while blow drying my hair and the ache was unreal. But that was years ago. Actually, I have a longer story to tell about a jerk I crossed paths with on the street today, but that one will take too much energy to type right now, so instead I’ll leave you wondering about things like street jerks and how my hair got so big last night. About that: somehow it inflated on the walk from hair and makeup to the newsroom. As if it were jet-puffed. Perhaps it was the new kind of hairspray they used. Maybe it’s made out of crushed up tampons. Now see, that’s just gross! I blame this impending flu which I so better not wake up with.
Well, you looked fine last night, I just thought your hair was “fluffier” than normal. Luckily, I keep mine short enough to where I don’t have to worry about it having a mind of its own, so I really probably shouldn’t have said anything.
I DO know how it is to get that shitty “I’d better not be getting sick” feeling, though. Three days ago, I was perfectly fine, and then in the evening I began to get that feeling in my throat that I always get when I get sick. Sure enough, the next morning I wake up with the sorest throat I’ve possibly ever had, and coughing my lungs out. I’ve spent a small fortune on Dayquil since, but I’m almost over it, thankfully. Anyway, I hope you don’t get sick, but if you do, I hope you feel better!
Quote of the Flu Shot:
“That jerk you’re( jerkess when referrring to a woman, but in this case I’m not really sure.) talking about was me. You complained about me being an obstruction to your path. If you have a problem about me being in your way, then why not just walk around me instead of finding an excuse to cuss somebody you don’t know. By the way, I would like to make this post as an opportunity to tell everyone “I AM THE CORRESPONDING MATCH OF ELTON JOHN FROM THE PARALLEL WORLD called DLROW LELLARAP which is actually spelled backwards “. For what you did to me Alison, you can KCUS YM KCID !!!”
–JANET RENO (TENAJ ONER)
–If you want to see the actual confrontation, paste this link and watch…
(http://youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU)
This also goes to
MICHAEL FROM LOUISIANA, That ted dude who likes south park, that guy whose is making this fake post, and that other guy who is underneath my computer desk at this moment…..
I totally forgot about your trip to Idaho this weekend. How did that happen?
I thought the hair was fine the other night (it looked great actually). It had a little more body than usual, but it wasn’t crazy-time. Or even near-crazy-time. Believe me, I’d be the first to call it if it were. I’d POUNCE!
Fortunately for everyne, I don’t have any entertaining sick stories to tell – although there was a girl in the 8th grade who used to vomit in class once a week like clock work. Every week. And it must have always come on quickly because she never made it out of the classroom. She usually got halfway down the aisle and BLAHHHHHH…
Happily, I didn’t sit in her row and never got hit by any spillage (the smell was a different matter.) But I still remember the janitor coming in each time and spreading some cat-litter-like-stuff all over the place. He must have busted his cat-litter-like-stuff budget that year by 10,000 percent.
I can hear him trying to explain the overage to the janitor-manager, “Well see, there’s this one girl in the 8th grade…” Poor guy. He earned his pay that year.
My, aren’t I the popular one. I always knew I was the topic of people’s dinner conversation, (good,bad,or indifferent.) but I had no idea I was the topic of early morning breakfast conversation. I forgive you in advance Mr. Anonymous. I assume you’re just having a rough day. We all do.
Alison, I hope you get to feeling better. If only you had a bottle of Jerk Sauce© on your person to give as a gift to the jerk on the street. They might have forgotten to take their promoterol.
track of the day:
5) Popular – Nada Surf.
Michael.
La.
Oh yeah, I forgot, I got a little side-tracked there for a minute. What I really wanted to say was, I got a kick out of last night’s Real World. What was so funny was to see all the people jump on Greg, (the people’s internet choice) for him being himself. They were all so giddy and here this guy is staying centered. He refused to be “Real World institutionalized.” This is going to be a great season, I think.
and yet another track:
0m6A) The Freshman – The Verve Pipe.
Wow – it takes all kinds.
That 5:19 guy made one HUGE mistake though, when he said, “If you have a problem about me being in your way..”
Everyne knows the correct syntax is, “If you have a problem about MY being in your way..”
Come on now – we all know Alison is an English major, and I’m sure she would appreciate it if we all took the time to form our sentences correctly. It’s the least we can do for her. Good English even counts in the parallel world (or the bizzaro world if you’re a Superman fan.) And let’s not forget about spell-checking! It only takes a second, people.
Oh Michael, we talk about you all the time at my place. And by WE, I mean “I” — I live alone.
Inserting more tracks:
100.1s) Umma do me – Rocko
one) You don’t know me – T.I.
seventy) Wipe Me Down – Lil’ Boosie.
Michael.
La.
So, did you wake up with the flu or not? That’d really suck–almost as much as going to Idaho.
And I hope you don’t care about our grammar, because this entire sentence is structured incredibly poorly, and my last post had no less than three comma splices.
The Ted dude that likes South park is reporting for duty sir! I think I just got Rick Rolled!
Hope you feel better Alison!
It’s MENSA meeting day! We all just sit around and tell each other that we are smarter than the next guy. It’s is quite boring actually.
Peace out!
Michael & Ted – at least you guys were on the list. I feel like a potted plant because I didn’t even get an honorable mention!
And to think I rack my brain, type until fingers bleed, guzzle coffee until my bladder is ready to burst, forego call girls for hours at a time… and for what? To be forgotten by the first person hurling insults on this blog? Well, think again my friends!
Ok, enough of that. I too hope you are feeling well, Alison. Have a WONDERFUL trip to Sun Valley! I hope you have time to tell us all about it. I just checked the weather there – it’s 35 and sunny right now with a low of 26 tonight and a high of 54 tomorrow.
Hey, you know what? I might have something fun to post on “A Rosen by Any Other Name” this weekend. Be sure to check in there.
But now it’s time for me to return my seat and keyboard to their fully upright position and sign off.
Ayez un soir agréable!
It was just our time Joe…it was just our time! You too could be the proud recipient of unwanted comments if you try hard enough!
Can’t wait to see what you have up your sleeve!