So I'm at the gym

So I’m at the gym, blog posting, which is how I pass the monotony of improving my already amazingly fit and taut physique. You could not only bounce a quarter off these abs, but also a dollar bill. Try it, I dare you. In fact sometimes I find enoungh money for a sandwich trapped in my midsection, that’s how scary fit I am. I should add that gutfeld told me a couple weeks ago that he thinks emailing at the gym (cardioemailing) sounds dangerous but see that’s the diff between him and me. I’m a thrill seeker. My internal barometer is set on Extreme and In Your Face – I’m like a corn nut really, or mountain dew – and so I’m just a slave to my need for risk taking, whereas gutfeld is content just doing what ‘the man’ tells him. It’s sad really.

Another diff is that I sau ‘diff’ and I bet he doesn’t. No time for polysyllables when you’re busy living life to the fullest. The seat of my pants? Totally flying by it. First class ticket on tushy air. Heiney air? That actually sounds much worse than I mean it but there’s no going back now. If I go back I could miss something. That’s why I wear these blinders like you’d see on a clydesdale in central park. To keep me focused on the future. And to correct my lazy eyes. It’s a long story but if you’re trying to speak to me you’re going to need to get right in front of me while I’m hanggliding or jumping from a plane as I do, bc otherwise you’re just so much peripheral chatter.

So I’m on the stationary bike and I’m not going anywhere. I’ve been pedaling for like half an hour and I’m still at the gym. I doublechecked and the brakes aren’t on, so I don’t know what to make of it except maybe I’m going so fast it’s altering my perception? Like maybe I’m moving at the speed of light? I did it once a long time ago (in the eighteen hundredf but that’s a ftory for another day).

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry