“One of the least attractive personality combinations is arrogance mixed with insecurity,” writes Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project, in a post about humility. It’s so simple and yet profound that I thought I’d repeat it here.
In other news, I finished a whole book yesterday which is notable because I hardly ever finish book anymore since I … what was I saying? Exactly. It was Steve Martin’s Born Standing Up and I’d recommend it for anyone who finds themselves thinking about performing, comedy and the nature of performing comedy. He lived in Orange County for awhile, which I didn’t know. Also, he described the time of his life when he was most in the public eye as when he was most alone, which I can relate to, not in a tears of a clown kind of way but in the sense that I’ve identified this somewhat reclusive streak in myself and the more I spend time on air the less I feel the need/desire to perform socially, which somehow results in my wanting to spend a lot of time at home. I suspect there’s something off there: that obviously there is a way to be social without performing, but sadly I think I’m a bit confused on that front and moreso as I get older. That said there are plenty of people I can be myself around, but I’m still slightly—like just a hair—more myself when I’m alone.
It’s occurring to me now that it might appear that these two paragraphs are related but they aren’t intended to be.
Alison Rosen—the more I read, the more I like… (you)!
Your quote reminded me of:
‘I’m an egomaniac with an inferiority complex’–That’s the same guy who said he knew he was an addict when, ‘I woke up, didn’t know where I was, I’d pissed myself, puked myself and I couldn’t wait to do it all over again.’—Eric Clapton to Ed Bradley.
I’ve gradually become (pardon my grammar) less uncomfortable with not being clever or interesting all the time and have learned to force myself to make mundane smalltalk to survive the workplace. It’s a chore.
Happy Holidays
Chris M.
I’ve actually been following the Happiness Project since discovering your blog. I think of myself as an educated person…maybe even overeducated but still a dumb ass in many ways…if that makes sense. Some of her articles are right on but some leave me with a Psych. 101 type headache afterwards. Maybe I’m just arrogant yet insecure…yeah probably! I think most A type personality people are!
God, I relate to what you just wrote…like big time! I’m not sure why but I’ve grown to enjoy hanging at home the last couple of years. I’d like to think of my social adventures as quality over quantity! Maybe that makes me a bit more boring. 🙂
I’m glad you put that last sentence in there because my first read through, I thought it was a passage from her article then I realized it was Alison being honest and a bit vulnerable in her writing! You rock!
I thought that was a great article. I think most of us can relate to those things. Speaking from a male’s perspective. I’ve learned as I progress in my 30’s, that I do alot of soul searching. I’ve become more selective on the people I choose to hang with, as I stated back in November. I just have certain expectations on certain things, and if it doesn’t make me happy, then I don’t do it. I’ve always been somewhat of a homebody. The bottom line is, I like myself. I don’t feel the need to impress everyone. The best thing I ever did was to stop being a people pleaser. That is a no win situation. I also feel like my sense of humor is under-apprectiated. People also make snap decisions, and sometimes rob themselves of really getting to know someone. You don’t have to agree all the time, or have the same outlook on life. I think you can learn more if you allow yourself to have people with opposing opinions. Well, I could go on and one, so I’ll just end it here. Besides, the more I write the more I’m going to contradict myself. Isn’t being a human being the greatest thing ever?
Michael.
Louisiana. (Home on the range.)
Yep’ Steve Martin also reveals a lot of personal stuff about his family relationships. Couldn’t put it down.