Did I have a stroke or something? Because I’m trying to write an introduction to a story and it’s as if English is my second language. (And jibberish and clumsy metaphors and clunky other things are my first. See? And what’s worse, I’m trying to articulate something delicate, so this bull in the china shop of language approach isn’t going to work. Maybe I’ll just spell out what I’m trying to say with cups.) And I don’t even think “delicate” is the right word. This is bad. My head is filled with cotton. Illiterate cotton. And marshmallows. It’s basically squishy. My thoughts are squishy. Also imagine meaning as a dartboard and I’m throwing darts but they’re hitting other parts of the bar. Like dart boomerangs. (See?????)
It looks as if I’ve come to the right place. That’s how I felt about my earlier post about the Richie Zambonie thing. Or something about a duel-jobbed ice rink cleaner upper. Anyway, I had a disturbing thought I’d like to share seeing as tonight’s theme is the way it is. I had an odd thought about the women that go on Survivor. I notice they don’t take any sort of baggage with them when they get on the isle, or wherever. What do they do about their “feminine” time of the month? Do they have to use coconut husks or banana peels? This is disgusting I know. Wouldn’t they be prone to like yeast infections and other open orifice type thingies? All this while wearing shortie shorts. I’m sure it’s gotta be very unpleasant to lay with these women. I don’t mean to just be pointing out the women’s problems, I’m sure the men have there own thing going on. But women are put on pedastals. For once I would like to see them filming two women off together asking each other. Do you ever get that not so fresh feeling? I demand answers, people like me want to know. By people like me, I mean weirdos. Wheew, glad to get that off my chest. Have a lovely evening all.
Michael. “the distorted thinker.”
Louisiana.
English is admittedly a hard language. Just think about it, in school we had an entire class dedicated to English, appropriately entitled English class. I doubt that in Mexico they have Mexican class. Even though that wouldn’t make sense because they speak Spanish, not Mexican, but Mexican food is good nonetheless.
I know exactly how you feel…although my head was typically filled with marshmallows and Rice Krispies mixed together. During grad. school we had to write 15 – 20 page research papers all the time. I’m not sure why but soon all writing began to be like “riding a unicycle on a dental floss tightrope over a wilderness of razor blades” (21st Century Living).
I discovered that finding the right balance between sleep, exercise, and work or school made a difference in my writing. For some reason jogging before writing a large paper helped!
It’s ironic that even in your BLOG for HELP, you write very creative and eloquent. I immediately pictured you throwing a dart and hitting some fat bar patron in the back of the head. 🙂
Quote of the day:
“I love my name, I admire my name, and I adore my name because it is like a catchphrase that really catches your attention.”
Jack Hoff, Idaho
And jibberish and clumsy metaphors and clunky other things are my first?
Wow that’s how words usually leave my mouth. Your such a wonderful writer even when your sentences are scrambles, it’s still interesting reading. As they always say, when you can’t write, join the strike 🙂
Quote of the day:
” I’m tired of the same question. “Did you ever watch your sister in any of her movies?” I will say this one last time. “NO, No,and No!!!!!”
-Tony Massoli responding (denying) on allegations of incest
(Jenna Jameson’s only sibling who happens to be a brother.)