The cannon I will shoot myself out of

So frankly I could not be any more excited about tonight’s show if I tried, and I am trying! Tom Rapp AKA TrappDog, the guy who writes all the songs for my show, will be here live to perform them!

Also, Dustin will be here! He just got back from Greece and apparently he has a surprise for us!

And Koryn will be here! And Alfred!

And I’ll shoot myself out of a cannon!

And more surprise guests!

And I’m going to read horrendous messages I’ve received from online dating suitors! (If you have any messages you’ve received that you’d like to share, send them to alisonrosenisyournewbestfriend at gmail dot com and perhaps I’ll read them on air.)

Also, fan phone call! And other amazing things!

So please tune in at 10pm ET/7pm PT (don’t be confused by that tricky time zone!) http://ustream.tv/alisonrosen

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I’m going to say it again: Watch at http://Ustream.tv/alisonrosen on Wednesday at 10pm ET/7pm PT. (don’t be fooled by that tricky time zone thing!)

And have you become a fan of the ARIYNBF page? Free infections for the first four thousand! (note: no rubella) http://facebook.com/ARIYNBF

Phone a fan info here: http://alisonrosen.com/2010/04/phone-a-fan-details/)

Also, keep nakedness at bay with an ARIYNBF tshirt! http://alisonrosen.com/gear

And it’s not too late to get your message read on the air. Buy a shoutout! http://alisonrosen.com/advertise

Tonight’s show, which will be a shorter show since I’m trying to go in that direction, is soon upon us! Alfred Schulz  (watch him in this recap of last week’s episode: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6ianHZnG0o) will be here to be awesome and share  more things you never hear people say. Also, he’s informed me that he embarrasses easily, as do I, so my chat with adult film star Courtney Cummz, who has been hitting on me on twitter today, is bound to be interesting.

Also, I’ll share some online dating messages I’ve received and then I’ll interview Alex Dementia of Midnight Dreams Productions and Royal Flush magazine publisher Josh Bernstein. They’re putting out a comic called  ‘Vrykolakas: The Unholy’ and  putting on a big shindig for the release on Saturday, May 15 combining music, comics and art. More info here: http://tinyurl.com/3yfdqd9

And of course we’ll phone a fan!

Here’s a bunch of pertinent links!

It’s not too late to buy a shoutout!

Post your questions for Courtney here!

Become a fan of the show’s FB page!

Buy a shirt!

And of course watch here at 10pm ET: http://ustream.tv/alisonrosen

Perhaps you missed last week’s Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend and you feel lost and lonely inside? Or perhaps you saw it but want to relive it but only have about 8 minutes? Thank god I put together this short clip of moments from the show and about that I have some things to say. Here they are:

1) Editing takes FOREVER!

2) Especially when you’re just learning.

3) But see, part of me thinks I should get really good at editing because that would coincide with what I’m doing these days (i.e. making web video) however the other part me says I’m not exactly a teenager and the learning curve is steep and I already have an area of excellence, which is writing, and why am I veering away from that? I mean, not to be all full of myself, but I’m a pretty fantastic writer and it’s an area where I stand out versus editing where even if I get all good at it, there are going to be a million people who are better.

4) Holy cow, I did not intend to be all intense and me me me in number three of this post.

5) I was going to wait until number 7.

6) But see, my birthday is coming up which is why all this stuff is kicking around my brain. In fact, I’m pretty sure I was this way last year. Let’s check. Here. And here. And here’s another post from the CA bday trip.

7) Incidentally, I was thinking that the hardest thing to really accept about interpersonal relationships, which I tend to avoid, is that no one can read your mind and no one knows what you’re thinking unless you tell them. It’s taken me a long time to learn that.

But back to this video, I want to thank all of you and all the guests and everyone who is a friend of the show for help in making the show so fantastic. Oh you’ve got to be kidding me. The number eight inside a parenthesis makes a smiley face wearing sunglasses?

9) And happy Mother’s day!

10) Maybe your mom would like a t-shirt?

I’m getting all ready for tonight’s show. I even tried to buy a tarp, which is not a joke even though it sounds like one. See, there’s some temporary transitional crumbly asphalt outside my door and so I need to cover it up because it belongs outside, and needs to stay there, unlike me, who belongs inside. Seriously, I tried to go out into the world today, to the post office, and all hell broke loose.

So I bought a mat instead of a tarp. That wasn’t the hell that broke loose.

Tonight’s show will be amazing!

Look at this line up! Jenna Kim Jones, Alfred Schulz, Jake Tuber, Lindsay Kaplan along with Koryn and Dustin! And featuring the music of TrappDog! And some special insanely awesome videos!

Plus a Fan Phone Call or two! And Deleted Tweets? And Pencil Dancing? And Gal Chat! (in case you’re wondering you read that correctly. that highlight has 2,410 views) And more Things You Never Hear People Say! And JMOE!

The show begins at 10pm eastern: http://www.ustream.tv/AlisonRosen

Alison on Twitter: http://twitter.com/alisonrosen

ARIYBNF Facebook Group: http://www.facebook.com/ARIYNBF

Alison Gear (you totally need some of this!) http://alisonrosen.com/gear

As you likely know from the way I’ve been in your face about it, I’m now selling ARIYNBF tshirts with the Kez logo on them. They’re perfection in tshirt form. The downside is that I have a box full of tshirts and a pile of bubble wrap mailers and another pile of some other kind of mailer and envelopes of assorted sizes and sheets of paper and also photos and buttons and stamps and construction paper and trash and none of it is doing itself.

It’s weird, you would think my sitting on the couch and giving the shirts space to really be themselves and do what they need to do would have a positive effect but instead, nada. “Look alive!” I yelled at the tshirts yesterday, blowing into a whistle and jogging in place. “You, yeah, you!” I brayed, poking one of the shirts in the chest. “What are you waiting for, an invitation? DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY AND THEN GET INTO AN ENVELOPE!” I shouted. I haven’t seen such a bunch of sorry little girls since I coached a fleet of collector’s buttons into bubble wrap a few weeks ago. It drove me to drink, so I sucked down some diet soda and then threw an energy bar over my left shoulder and rubbed chalk all over my hands and put a bunch of balls in a mesh bag. Then I inspected my shoes for termites, shaved my head for team spirit, injected some steroids into an orange (it’s a science experiment I’m performing), rubbed some grease paint under the picture of my eyes on the tshirt and then ordered everyone into the showers where the shirts began snapping themselves at one another. Again I had to blow my whistle. “Am I coaching or babysitting here? Rub some dirt in it!” I yelled, dabbing Gatorade behind my ears. I don’t get paid enough.

Here’s the base of operation:

Tom Rapp made these cool videos revealing how he puts together the songs for my show. Also revealing my short-lived new hat trend. In this one he’s working on “Things You Never Hear People Say.” Part 1 is above. Here’s Part 2.

Alfred Schulz shares some things you never hear people say on the April 28, 2010 episode of Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend.

Tom Rapp wrote/performed theme song and lyrics. KEZ designed the logo.

Last night on the show I played a video that I thought was hilarious by show guest and Canadian pal (and guy who autographed an orange and gave it to me) Andrew Hunt. Here’s the video. Please make him famous so he can make me famous-er.